Bring me sunshine................

backandevenmorebroke

Well well well, where to start! I previously had a diary on here but as my situation with debt has gotten worse since then I felt too embarrassed to post an update.

So here I am starting afresh for about the 100th time……

My main issue is spending frivolously on items and things that aren’t a basic human need and go beyond the occasional treat. My relationship with money is what I refer to as ‘bipolar’ (apologies if I offend anyone by this term) in that I go through periods where something triggers and I genuinely don’t care about what I spend. I ‘treat’ myself or my daughter and think of £30 added to my total debt is nothing giving the amount I owe, what’s another £100?! It then switches to periods when I wonder how the h*ll I’m going to get out of this mess and frankly, I feel like sh*t about my finances.

My issue is, I have no idea how to control my compulsions to over-spend. I do a monthly budget so I know what ‘spare’ money I have and I even got myself a cash-card to load my food, petrol and spending money so that this is separate from my main pot. Obviously this hasn’t been successful.

If someone can tell me the secret to having a true ‘lightbulb’ moment where I suddenly become effortlessly frugal I would love to know!

Personal background, I am a single mum to 1 lovely daughter who starts school in September. I work full time and get paid pretty well for what I actually do. However, I have been in my current job a long time, it’s local government and due to all of the budget tightening there is no room to progress. There are also very little training opportunities so it’s not like I’m staying and enhancing my skills. I’ve just completed my 3rd year of studying part-time with the open uni for a law degree as my ultimate career goal is to be a solicitor, although I still have another 2/3 years until I finish this. My issue is I’d really like to increase my income and apply for a different job but with my daughter going to school in September, I will be dropping a few hours and my working pattern will be abit all over the place. My current job is very accommodating to this but I think it’s unlikely that any potential employer would be. Due to the only place that does before/after school clubs for her school being full there is no physically possibility I can do 9-5 Monday-Friday even with help from her dad and family. It’s really frustrating as I feel I have a lot more to offer in a working sense and I genuinely feel it’s time to move on and it’s making me feel trapped on this front.

One of the things that has prompted me to re-start my diary is that generally I could get by on my budget as I do have money leftover however, my daughter’s father paid maintenance upfront for the rest of the year, my car broke and I had to spend the money to get it repaired as again, I have no savings pot. I have been fine the past few months but from September my child tax credit it likely to drop significantly as I’ll no longer have childcare costs. Worst case scenario is that I will have £0 leftover every month from Sept – December.

In order to soften this blow my goal is to save as much as I can, minimum of £300 between now and then to get me through the rest of the year, something which is completely do-able if I pull my finger out. I do have a largish bill to pay at the end of July as my tenancy is up for renewal and it costs me £85 every 12 months (I have requested a 2 year contract this time but yet to have a response). Bar that and a week we are away in Norfolk with my little one in which I’ll need spending money for, the up-coming months should be pretty quiet social-wise.

Debt wise, this is over 20k of unsecured credit card debt across a range of credit cards and 2 store accounts (v*ry and n*xt). Only part of this debt is on interest free and because of my high debt utility there is no chance of getting and 0% balance transfer deals (I’ve checked numerous times). So I’m going to give it ago and try by pay smallest to highest debt first, see if I get the debt busting bug when I see whole debts completely disappear and get this debt gone once and for all. I realise that it will be a long slog for me but I have given myself 5 years from TODAY to get this gone. I have also just taken on another debt (I know shame on me ) in the form of adult braces, oddly it was one of the biggest mental struggles I’ve ever had about taking on debt but I have hated my teeth all of my life and honestly, they affect my self-confidence more than I can explain.

I also have a car on finance, my old car died and the cost to repair was greater than the value of the car so I had no option to get another as due to my home-work commute a car is a necessity. I guess because the interest and payments are set in stone I don’t see the benefit of trying to pay it off sooner?!

Positives:

I’m 28 so time is on my side to get the debt paid, repair all of the damage and hopefully save for a house before I reach 40
I have my health and a very happy, healthy child who I have always wanted to know life is about enjoyment and fulfilment and this does not come from material possessions.
I do believe that anything is possible when you put your all into it and I believe I can find a way to have this attitude to getting rid of debt for good.

One start I have made is listing a load of stuff on ebay, I plan on using the profits to pay off a chunk of the n*xt or v*ry account. My daughter is with her father part of this weekend so my plan is to GUT everywhere and list anything and everything I can.

I think that’s enough for now? Apologies for the long post, I’ll be back with an SOA later!

Starmummy

Hi and welcome. Your story sounds a lot like mine. single mum to a daughter, working a job I knew I couldn't progress in because I was tied to the school run, spending habbits meaning weeks of beans on toast followed by big splurges to treat me and my daughter because we deserved it.

I wish you the best of luck. You will get there.

A lot of people on her would suggest doing a SOA so we can try and help see where you can save/ or what you should be putting money aside for.

Take care
SM

Starmummy

I love the name of your diary BTW

beanielou

Another one loving the name.
Happy shiny new diary

scoobysnax40

Loving the name also.

Want to offer you the best of luck on your mission. Have subscribed and will be following your progress with interest

Scooby

backandevenmorebroke

Thank you all

redofromstart

Just dropping in to say happy new diary and good luck

I'm off to listen to morecambe and wise track now, not heard that for years :-)

backandevenmorebroke

Well not much to update on here. Pretty quiet weekend this weekend, my little one was with her dad for father's day so I spent the day doing house chores and painting a wooden pallet that I am turning into a planter. I just need to get some weed control fabric and the seeds and it'll be finished but this will wait until after payday.

Was hoping for a non-spendy week but it's my best friend's son's birthday on Friday which involves going out for food and bringing my little one with me. It's an all you can eat place so for me and my daughter it'll cost £25, add on the expense of the gift and there is £40 gone! I also needed some cat food, cat litter and laundry bits so that was a £16 spend in B&M today. Food wise I think all I need is some fresh milk, yoghurt and fruit and that'll see me through until we go away Monday.

I'm also abit annoyed with the letting agent/landlord. The letting agent had emailed asking whether I intend to renew the tenancy for 6 or 12 months and that the rent and terms would be the same. I emailed back and requested a 2 year contract (so I didn't have to pay the £85 fee again next year) and I had an email from my letting agent saying that the landlords are happy to renew for 12 months (at an increase of £15 per month of my rent) and can't see why it wouldn't be renewed again for the year after. Now I wish I had just emailed back to confirm I'd like to renew for 12 months as it looks like my query has prompted a rent increase!

I've done my budget for next month and I should have £121.21 spare money. I plan on setting aside £50/£60 of this as spending money for our trip to Norfolk and I've also booked for me and my daughter to visit a cat cafe (I'm cat mad) I'm hoping there will be money leftover from our holiday budget but if not I will put £20 aside for parking and food. That leaves me at least £40 to put away this month.

Got a few bits ending on e*bay today which I think will make me around £15/£20, I plan on keeping that in m paypal account until I reach £100 and then using that to pay off part of the n*xt or v*ry.

I was productive yesterday and totted up my total debts again and updated my signature, made my eyes water a little but at least I know my starting point. I'm a little worried about what I'm going to do once the 0% interest ends on the rest of the cards but I'll tackle that when it comes to it. I have considered a DMP on and off and while I don't particularly like this option, I am open to it being an option if I physically can't cover the repayments.

Anyway, enough of my essays, back to work I go!

Starmummy

Keep posting lovely. The good and the bad. It helps. The cat Cafe sounds fun and Norfolk is beautiful.

Landlords can be swines but letting agents are the worst. I've never met one who can function as a competent human being so I can feel your pain

backandevenmorebroke

Thankyou starmummy!

Well I've just had confirmation my landlord will be increasing the rent, it's only by £15 a month but that's £15 that could be spent on something else! I emailed back a snotty email and said I basically have no choice to renew seeing as it's only a month before the current tenancy is up. I really want to find somewhere a little cheaper next year however, realistically I'm going to need £1000 minimum saved for application fees and a deposit and I'm not sure I can get anywhere cheaper that would be in a decent location! I know rent increases are normal due to inflation but it annoys me that everything inflates in price bar my wage packet! The little village my daughter will be starting school tends to be a lot cheaper so I will start keeping my eye out early next year......Has anyone had any experience with applying for a rental property with bad credit? When I moved into this place I had very little credit so my rating was good, now it's not so great.....

Anyway, rant over about rent! I'm desperate for payday now as officially skint! I had to nip to t*sco and get some bits for dinner which means I'll had to dip into my paypal pot to cover the meal out tonight which I'm upset about as there was £35 in there already! I think I'm just annoyed in general today! I don't get paid until Wednesday and our trip starts Monday, not sure what I'm going to do for the 1st two days we are there but I'm sure I will figure something out.

Had a little meeting at the school my daughter will be starting in Sept and felt a little overwhelmed, I'm not ready for my baby to grow up and go to school yet think this is just adding to my bad mood as I know I'm going to be skint from Sept onwards (explained on previous post) and her going to school is just such a huge change for us both.

I'll end on a positive note so I don't look too moan-y, after July's debt payments have come out I'll be back under 23k *hoorah*

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

backandevenmorebroke

Well I’m doing brilliantly on updating this aren’t I!

Had a lovely week away with the family, now I want to own a house and a boat and live along the Norfolk Broads, maybe one day!

Work has been abit meh since being back although I can’t complain about the glorious weather we have been having. Had a really good weekend with my little one, we went to a kitty caf! for lunch yesterday, had a water fight when we got home and then out on our scooters through the countryside - it was bliss! I had been feeling about down as I went on a date Thurs evening and although I thought it went quite well, I haven’t heard from him since Friday! This is exactly why I don’t bother dating as it always feels like such a drain and waste of energy. I wouldn’t mind so much if people were honest and could tell you but it seems like people prefer to do a ghosting act, I have to remind myself that it’s not a reflection on me and that everyone deserves a little more than that.

Anyway, I should have my uni module result next Tuesday, I am out with the girls the Saturday after so I’ll either be celebrating or drowning my sorrows, hopefully not the latter!

Money wise I have been ok and on budget so far this month although I’m trying to sell a few more bits on e*ay to fund my night out for this month. Next month’s budget will be tight as I have to pay the £85 tenancy renewal fee which should leave me with £35 to get through the month I have already got a few things booked in and paid for with my little one so hopefully we should be able to get by. Although I will need to buy her whole school uniform and not sure that can wait until August payday so I’m going to have to think about that one. My mum wants to buy her shoes so that will help and I’m sure her dad will chip in but we’ll see.

Anyway, back to the Monday morning grind!