Finally told my partner about £20k debt.

fatbelly

Sounds like a complete overreaction on his part. I'm re-posting my advice from the other thread as it still stands

All of your debt is non-priority. As long as you don't do anything stupid the house is safe, and it sounds like you have some surplus income, though not enough to continue with the contractual payments.

January is probably right that a dmp is the way forward. If so, you both need to be banking somewhere other than where you have debts, to stop payments and build an emergency fund while you or someone like Stepchange or Payplan sort out your dmp.

bertiewhite

fatbelly wrote: »

Sounds like a complete overreaction on his part. I'm re-posting my advice from the other thread as it still stands

We've only got one side of this story - maybe it's the last straw in a string of other stuff we haven't been told about?

Who are we to judge?

enthusiasticsaver

I think the OP is right not to judge her DP too harshly. I too would be annoyed if my DH had lied about debt and endangered our future.

However there is always a solution to debt problems and it may not not affect him too badly. The worrying thing you mention is the mortgage. Is that joint? That will mean he is tied to you financially. Have you got a handle on how to start the debt out? DMP or IVA?

I would post an soa here so we can suggest options and or contact stepchange.

Your DP May calm down once he sees you are trying to sort it out.

zippygeorgeandben

You know I agree with most of what you say enthusiasticsaver. My point was more aimed at the initial responses to the OP where the husband was being called selfish and callous.
Like bertiewhite said, who are we to judge?

thegirlinthegreenscarf

Hey


It does sound very harsh. It sounds as if you have been through alot.
However things end up, there is always support on here.
You have made a mistake, but the important thing is to learn from it.
You sound as if you are being very hard on yourself.
Your debt free journey is like a marathon, rather than a sprint. You need to prepare yourself.
Be kind to yourself. You need to be emotionally fit for the road ahead.
Focus on your resolve, rather than beating yourself up about your past mistakes.
Do your SOA, start a diary, find someone/thing who inspires you.
I read Michelle Mc Gaugh's "no spend year" - it is a bit extreme but it does get you motivated.
If she can over pay £20K in a year to her mortgage, then you can make a difference too.


Chin up - you will get there xxx