Advice needed- friend with 4 kids facing homelessness, council not being any use

FellOutOfBed2wice

Hi I wonder if anyone has any advice. It was suggested I try this forum by a poster on Mumsnet who said how good the advice is here.

My friend and I grew up together in a London Borough. She moved up north around ten years ago with her partner, who she married a little while later, and had 3 children. Both she and her husband worked full time and rented a house in the northern town they lived in.

The relationship was, as I understand it, tempestuous but they were stable- just had some blow-ups. She suffers from quite severe anxiety and he has been suffering from depression. She’s sought help but he hasn’t.

Last year she unexpectedly became pregnant again and decided to have the baby. However the pressure of a potential fourth child seemed to bring everything that had been simmering to a head and they weren’t getting on. They had an almighty blow up one day and he threatened her physically so, sensibly, she fled with the children to stay with her Mum and step Dad back in London.

This was a year ago and she is now still with her Mum but the living situation is becoming unworkable. She is on benefits with 4 children aged 7, 4, 2 and 8 months. Her Mum has had several instances of breast cancer and has a lowered immune system so it’s not ideal for her to be living with young children. There are only 3 bedrooms in the house and they are massively crowded in there. Tensions are running high.

She has just about enough money to privately rent with housing benefit topping up, but the landlords who take DSS are limited and so far she’s not had any luck getting one. The council say she can’t be put on the list for social housing because she previously lived outside of the borough for a prolonged period of time. She has been offered a hostel but was warned it could be FIVE YEARS in the hostel before she was offered more permanent accommodation. She has a sister but she has 3 children of her own and she and her husband privately rent so can’t be guarantors or anything. I and my husband own our house but she’s so far not wanted us to be guarantors, understandably. She’s had offers of spare rooms at friends houses but it’s obviously a short term solution.

Her Mum is now saying that she and the children can’t continue to live with them and that they need to be gone in 2 weeks. Her Dad lives hundreds of miles away and has lots of other, much younger children so isn’t in a position to help. She is literally on the edge of homelessness and no one at the council seem to care.

What are her options? I want to help but I have no clue where to start. Her sister has tried usual avenues, MP etc but clearly this needs more pressure.

Please any and all advice gratefully received.

moneyistooshorttomention

What I would say is = don't be a guarantor for her if she asks you to.

You've only heard her side of the story re what happened as regards that 4th child - and it might be interesting to hear his side of "why she became pregnant and kept it". You might hear a rather different account.....:cool:

So - I would be wondering about her reliability (or otherwise) in your position.

FellOutOfBed2wice

Thanks. Yes, I get the “two sides to story” argument but, regardless, she now has four kids and no home. So let’s concentrate on that.

need_an_answer

Has she exhausted all avenues with regard to finding a private LL as this may be the most available option to her at present.
I think many on here recommend open rent?

Has she considered anything just outside of London where rent would be slightly cheaper but still achievable to get to the capital if needed?
There may be more flexibility there than in a London borough.

However I will echo what MI2S2M has said and whatever happens even if its the "only way" for her to move into a place of her own please do not agree to be a guarantor unless you can afford to pay the rent month in and month out.

worried_jim

Has she asked the council if they will rehouse her in another part of the U.K. as there is little to no chance of her getting a home in London?

LocoLoco

It might be that her only real option is to look to move to a different part of the country where there are more landlords around who will accept families on benefits. It's a very difficult situation; there's a terrible shortage of council housing along with a shortage of private landlords who accept families on benefits (not to mention the troubles of finding a property that comes within the LHA rate). We've been on benefits for years due to my son's disability and when I've looked at housing options I've generally found cheaper areas have more landlords that will accept benefits as income. There are also councils who will allow you to go on their housing list if you don't live in the area and/or if you don't have a particular housing need at the time but it varies from place to place. The only other option might be that she goes back to work and sorts out daycare for the kiddies but given the timeline that she has to work to that probably isn't practical. As the children are young could she manage in a two bed for a while - two older ones in one room, two little ones in with her? That may open up some possibilities a little. But it is a very difficult situation and one that increasing numbers of people are finding themselves in, unfortunately. I hope she is able to find something that she can move into quickly x

wesleyad

I agree, she lived for ten years out of london so it's not like she is tied down (job etc). If I were her I'd choose somewhere with lower rents and more affordable housing. It may sound horrible to say, but if you choose to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world you have to be able to pay.

Also you say she is "literally on the edge of homelessness", but say the council will house her in a hostel? Not sure how those two statements can both be true.

This could be a new break, think of it as a good thing, she can pick a cheaper town/city, maybe somewhere she has always wanted to go, settle down out of the pollution, have a nice life.

Just to add, you say there's no longer a great relationship with the ex, but he is still due to pay child maintenance (I assume) and there ware ways to claim this safely in situations where there is abuse.

sal_III

I'm tempted to rant about irresponsible parenthood, but as the OP mentioned, this is not the focus of the thread.

If the London council refuses to house her (quite reasonably) on the grounds that she haven't lived there for years, has she tried going back north where she lived for a decade and rent is more than likely much lower and there are more DSS landlords and shorter waiting lists for re-housing?

Did she get a divorce? Does her (ex)husband pay support?

moneyistooshorttomention

need_an_answer wrote: »

Has she exhausted all avenues with regard to finding a private LL as this may be the most available option to her at present.
I think many on here recommend open rent?

Has she considered anything just outside of London where rent would be slightly cheaper but still achievable to get to the capital if needed?
There may be more flexibility there than in a London borough.

However I will echo what MI2S2M has said and whatever happens even if its the "only way" for her to move into a place of her own please do not agree to be a guarantor unless you can afford to pay the rent month in and month out.

Not forgetting that we had a very recent thread on here - where someone had agreed to be a rent guarantor to an acquaintance of theirs for the length of the initial contract period.

What they didn't know and hadn't agreed to was to continue to be a guarantor if/when that contract got extended beyond the initial few months (got turned into a rolling contract??). It did rather look like they were on the hook for longer than they'd agreed to at the outset.

Cakeguts

She needs to get in touch with the council where she lived for the 10 years with her partner because she is more likely to find a landlord there and possibly be more likely to get social housing than she will in London. If she isn't working there is no reason for her to stay in London and she probably still has friends in the place where she lived for 10 years.

KL0001

The reason why she could spend up to 5 years in a hostel is because of the sever shortage of LA houses available in the area she is looking to live in. It!!!8217;s not that the council are disinterested, they are just being realistic with her expectation of how quickly she can be housed in LA housing.

She has a few options: move into the hostel when she becomes homeless and accept that she may have many uncomfortable years there, but hope that it might not be 5 years. Or talk to her local council, they may be able to get her rehomed in another part of the country. Look to move back to where she was living where I assume rents are cheaper and private LL might be more willing to accept housing benefits support.