Forced to attend Xmas Party

haylibo

If eating socially isn't a normal part of her duties then she can refuse to go even if in worktime if she has good reason (such as not feeling comfortable). Of course, if it is in work time she should offer to work instead.
It's a widely recognised condition, not wanting to eat in public or be around public eaters and so she should easily be able to argue they would be unreasonable to make her attend. A trip to personnel/human resources should help.
Just because something happens in company time doesn't always make it compulsary or enforceable although there are plenty of bosses who have problems with taking that fact on board.

Hayles

Spirit_2

Hi to the OP

From the facts that you have told us

• Your wife does not enjoy eating in front of others.
• The company treats its staff to a celebratory lunch & drinks in paid works time.
• She has been told non attendance would be disciplinary matter.

The company plainly intends this to be a 'good' gesture not a bad one. Someone has lost this well intentioned message when discussing the impact for your wife.

It is just the meal that needs to be politely declined. Most of us have to make some polite accommodation of unwanted social events throughout our lives; it is just good manners. Even in the workplace this hold true.

Can your wife :

1) ahead of time explain to a manager she trusts that this is a kind act on the part of the company, however she will not be eating but will join everyone for a drink/ soft or alcoholic (her choice) before hand and for coffee afterwards.

or

2) say nothing, on the day attend the leisure centre but say that she is unable to eat/ queasy, does not wish to disturb others and will sit out the meal (wait somewhere quiet) but rejoin them all later. A little white lie, but no harm is done and problem is solved. If she slips a novel into her bag that morning she can have a relaxing couple of hours with a book.

Best wishes

Spirit

BigDaddyBlue

Me and my girlfriend both work for the same company and are planning on going to the xmas do just to see everyone get wasted and make pr*ts of themselves...

i don't drink (much) because of my epilepsy and she'll probably be driving!

C_Ronaldo

I couldnt work in a place where you are forced to attend the xmas do, ok it may be free but id rather have a choice, thinking about it id go if i could invite some friends of mine,

ohreally

ckerrd wrote: »

One thing I find ironic about religion in the UK is that the monarch could marry a Muslim but not a Catholic.

Doubt the monarch would want to marry a tatty picker anyway

p.s. the comment is tongue in cheek,please don't take the strunts.

Terrylw1

I think that any company that states non attendance of a celebration is a disciplinary matter is not well intentioned at all. It is a demand when it should be a request.

It's a bit like saying "have fun or have a rollocking"

As others have said she could go and say she doesn't feel too well, just expect the usual sniggers because thats how people can be.

But I have to say I'm definately up for a pagan celebration...especially if it includes ritual sacrifice...trouble is I wouldn't know who to pick!!!

As far as religion goes I'm proud to be a 7 day Alcoholist

I remember the council were trying to ban xmas decorations in my local area last year. I don't think it was as much about ethnicity than it was apart of saving money on a tree & decs so they could spend more on the office party!!!

changkra

fengirl wrote: »

CFC - I think this would fall under Religion or Belief in that all employees are being required to celebrate a Christian festival, regardless of their own beliefs. OK, I know the Christianity has gone out of Christmas to a great extent, but it could offend some people to be forced to celebrate it (including atheists, I guess).

A Christmas party is not actually a Christian festival.

OP is this was me then I would be looking for a new job, it doesn't sound like this is a half decent company to work for and maybe she would be better elsewhere

CFC

fengirl wrote: »

I know that the issue in this case is not to do with reliegion, but I was just commenting in general - by requiring all staff to attend a Christmas event, the employer is on dodgy ground. There could be other staff for whom this is an issue.
Not only with religion, but someone might have caring responsibilties which means it is difficult for them to attend the event if it wasn't a normal working day.
No employer would get away with this in the sector I work in.

As another poster explained, this is not a christian festival. One needs to be very careful to distinguish between what the relevant acts actually cover and what 'politically correct attitudes' attempt to make them cover.

Caring responsibilities are an entirel different issue, under the relevant law an employer may be obliged to give unpaid time off for dependent leave, and it would be irrelevant whether that day was on the day of a 'office party' or whether it was a normal working-in-work day.

I therefore do not understand on what grounds you believe that any employer would be on dodgy ground here.

As for another poster, I think you would find that in most contracts it would be irrelevant that 'eating at work' was not part of the OP's normal duties, because it would fall under 'any other reasonable request'. Now, asking somebody to attend a works meeting where there is eating and drinking is in itself a 'reasonable request' during working hours, and refusal to comply could be construed as gross misconduct. (own goal for the company but hey there you go, some managers require brain transplants). Forcing somebody to actually consume food or drink if they did not wish to would not be a 'reasonable request' - well not unless their job was as a food taster of some kind!

One course of action for the OP would be be to attend the party but not eat. An alternative course of action would be to speak to HR privately and reveal the medical problem. HR will then advise as to the course of action to be taken - probably they would have a quiet word with the line manager and no pressure would be brought to bear to attend.

Inactive

I thought Christmas was supposed to be the Season of Goodwill to all Men, I guess that includes Women, so forcing a member of staff to do something that is against their wishes is hardly in spirit with this thought.

But what would I know, I'm an Atheist, and it is all a load of tosh in my book.

ailuro2

She'd be best having a quiet word with her manager's boss and say can you quietly ask the manager not to force me to go- I am not comfortable with eating in public, and if you allow me I will go home for the afternoon and pay the time back later.

I agree it sounds like a goodwill gesture and an overzealous manager has tried too hard to make his team enjoy the gesture.