Single Dad needing advice....

WickedWitch123

Can you be my daughter's dad too please - you sound amazing!


What a lucky girl she is to have you.


Best Wishes to you both.

Oakdene

Mojisola wrote: »

Just keep in mind that not all bra fitters are good at their job - your daughter needs to know that, if she doesn't feel comfortable in the size of bra the fitter selects, she can refuse it.

Thanks for that, perhaps I will ask a couple of friends wives & girlfriends if they have a preferred shop/fitter.

WickedWitch123 wrote: »

Can you be my daughter's dad too please - you sound amazing!


What a lucky girl she is to have you.


Best Wishes to you both.

Aw that's very kind of you.

As me & my Mum were abandoned by my Dad when I was less than 6 months old, I grew up swearing I would always be there whatever happens for any children I had.

skint_chick

Just let her know that you will love and support her no matter what and she can tell you anything and if she finds it too hard to say she can write you a letter. It can be difficult being different from others when you're a teenager, but encourage her to get properly fitted for a bra - you can get minimiser ones that help reduce the look of big boobs while still supporting them so she doesn't end up with back and neck problems. I developed really young and struggled with it for years being bullied and teased, the most important thing is that she was close enough to you to tell you and trust you. You'r doing a great job!

mangog

If you have a Bravissimo store near you, I recommend their fitting service. They're trained to do it without all the poking and measuring you're subjected to in some stores, and their staff are very friendly and encouraging in my local branch. They will help her try out lots of different shapes and styles to get the right fit.

indiepanda

Mojisola wrote: »

Just keep in mind that not all bra fitters are good at their job - your daughter needs to know that, if she doesn't feel comfortable in the size of bra the fitter selects, she can refuse it.

I would echo this - even in Bravissimo I had a bad experience with a fitter who managed to put me in a bra with a band too small and cups too large - only bothered to try one size on me. The good thing was when I went back 2 days later having realised how wrong they were they gave me a refund on the bra I had worn as well as the two others I had bought. I also had a bad experience with a very rude fitter in M&S.

I suspect the guesses other people have made about your daughter getting unwanted attention at school might be accurate. I never understand why people talk about your school days being the best of your life. Teenagers can be foul, be different in any way and you will find yourself being mocked for it by someone. I got on fine with my teachers and was good academically but couldn't wait to leave school because of how mean some of the other girls were. I don't keep in touch with anyone I know from back then.

Oh, and you sound like a fab dad. I can't imagine my dad would have coped the way you do if he had been left to raise me and my sister. As it was when my mum went to evening class one night a week and dad was left to put us to bed we would get our hands scrubbed with Jif to remove felt tip and get told we didn't need hot water bottles in the depth of winter even though our house was freezing.

Loz01

Sorry if this has been said, I haven't read the whole thread - OP I know you meant well by asking your daughter if she is attracted to girls more than boys but anything gender related she might be feeling is a separate entity to sexuality. You like who you like regardless of if you feel male/female.

On the flip side, if she is just upset about having a bigger chest because she stands out amongst her friends, has she tried a minimiser bra or sports bra? I wear a 32E regular bra yet when I play football I have the chest of a boy lol proper sports bras can do wonders!

adea

I would recommend going to Debenhams for a fitting. They are highly trained and don't need to use a tape measure. I have taken both my teen daughters and have gone myself and for a self conscious teenager, this is much easier.The assistant we had recommended buying bras from anywhere but M&S and wasn't at all pushy about getting us to buy bras from there.
I hope all goes well with your daughter, she is extremely fortunate to have a great dad like you.

theoretica

I agree with bra fittings, and information about types of bra. As a teenager I had bras I thought fit, but really didn't, and regret it took me so long to discover sports bras that worked for daily wear and for being generally active without bouncing around. As a teenager, things that looked more like a crop top felt more discrete too.

dancing_star

I too had enormous breasts when I was a teenager. They seemingly sprouted pretty much overnight when I was about 14 or 15, just after puberty. I'd been tiny and flat chested before that.

Teasing from boys at school was horrible. I didn't think about binding, but if I had known it was a thing, I'd doubtless have had a go!

I had them reduced in my early 20s, best thing I did. But that's another story.

Whether teasing/bullying is or isn't the reason behind your daughter's binding, none of us except her can say.

One suggestion I do have is that if she finds it difficult to talk to you due to embarrassment, then perhaps initiate the conversation when you are driving, or walking, and eye contact isn't such an issue. I find difficult conversations a lot easier when you're doing something else at the time. Nothing too distracting of course - eg in a car, a country drive rather than Spaghetti Junction or central London!!!

Good luck.

Pollycat

Just to point out that the post above is a necropost.

The OP has not been active on MSE since AUGUST 2018.

That poster also has a link to a website in their signature which is against MSE rules.