Money Moral Dilemma: Should I give a bigger wedding gift because I can't make the big day?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A good friend's getting married and I can't go. I feel I should buy a bigger gift than planned because I'm saving on the usual outfit, travel and hotel costs - but some think I should give LESS as another guest's going in my place. What should I do?

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PasturesNew

There's no reason to spend more.
As somebody else said, spend less as you're not benefitting from the hospitality.

As it's a "good friend", just spend what you planned to spend on them and be done with it.

Pollycat

Of course there's no reason to spend more.
Accepting a wedding invitation isn't obligatory.

thorsoak

Why not just give what you would love to give to your friends and what they would like to receive? Why should cost of gift/what you will be saving by not going be such an important part of it?

Gavin83

In this situation I wouldn't give a gift at all. If you aren't going to the wedding why would you give them a gift?

clairec79

If you want to give a gift, give one. If you don't, don't.

If I wanted to give one it would be of whatever I wanted to give (most likely same size monetarily as usual - although if I thought there was something apt for them that was more or less than my standard then I may give that)

happyinflorida

I've not heard of giving a gift if you're not going - where have you got the idea from that you should?

It's up to you obviously, if you want to give a gift, then do so. Give a present that you want to give - what's the cost got to do with it?

Red-Squirrel_2

How is this a MORAL dilemma?

elizabethhull

happyinflorida wrote: »

I've not heard of giving a gift if you're not going - where have you got the idea from that you should?

It's up to you obviously, if you want to give a gift, then do so. Give a present that you want to give - what's the cost got to do with it?

Actually it was always the etiquette that if you were invited, you gave a present, whether you attended or not. It's lovely to be considered for an invitation, and I would always send a present if I couldn't go. I'm a little surprised that some people don't think this way any more.
But the cost is a different matter. I'd give a present of whatever value I would have given if attending, but make it a postable present, so probably money in some form - cheque or vouchers where any wedding list is being maintained.

REJP

No. Give what you can afford and no more. This is a money saving site and I cannot believe a regular user would ask such a question.

Katie_cake

How about giving the gift of celebrating with the happy couple at a later date. Perhaps take them out for a meal or a similar social occasion to fit your budget or even less. This way you will still get to join in the merriment of the occasion and solve the issue of a gift.
A lot of couples these days already have their pits and pans, this could be something they!!!8217;d appreciate and you!!!8217;ll all remember. Good luck