Lazy and Hypocritical Ex-friend/New Manager

Marvel1

Don't cover her shifts, you are not getting paid for it she is getting paid instead.

BrassicWoman

turn your phone off when you're not at work.

Autumnella

I wouldn't concern yourself too much with her giving a reference. She can't even be bothered to turn up to work, chances are she won't bother to write you a reference and you'll be stuck anyway, especially if it's after the place closes down. Some places ask for a reference from your last work place but may accept one from a previous job if you explain the place is closing down.

Can your text messages not prove when you have actually covered for her? Don't cover for her again and just ignore any calls/texts from her asking you to do so.

Out of curiosity, how much does this "coffee shop" make?

[Deleted User]

Mika134 wrote: »

Sorry for this it's going to be a bit of a rant. I'm doing everything I can to get away from this job and this person now, and got tons of interviews lined up so please keep that in mind.

This whole thing has riled me up so much. I am going to tons of interviews but as I suffer with social anxiety I really struggle with them, but I am still trying. I want to get away from this ex-friend as fast as possible because I can't believe how much she is messing me around, but I do like my job and it's so nice and easy that if it wasn't for her I would stay another year or two to build up the savings. It's just painful that someone I thought was a friend would be doing this. Again, I need her for a reference so I have to be nice, it's like she has so much power. But if I do get another job, or get one that will accept my other references (most places need your last employer)

Thanks for reading if you did. Please share your stories below!

Are the jobs vastly different then you are going for?! I mean we could all learn a thing or two from someone who gets 'job with a once friend'. Not being funny, this friend could go on long term sick or leave themselves and then won't have to bother with any reference - you are getting in a stew and eight. It could be this friend is unhappy as you. It never occurred to me one time, I had a manager who was equally stressed, well until it's become to late, it's awful to outlive ya Manager.

You've less chance of reference checking if you go for quick start jobs or roles where multiple people are needed.

I'm all for the day, when it becomes standard that instead of this reference nonsense that it becomes standard the departed successfully employee/worker is presented with a letter that confirms employment dates and that is it. It would cut down on quite a few issues. I would advise you to keep anything which may confirm employment as I do.

Mika134

Can your text messages not prove when you have actually covered for her? Don't cover for her again and just ignore any calls/texts from her asking you to do so.

Out of curiosity, how much does this "coffee shop" make?

Thank you for your reply! Yes in the end I had to go through every single text and facebook message (she gets her friends to fb me if she's "too ill") and write it all down for her. She still argued that I went in a tiny bit later than 8am and insisted on docking this from the hours, which would be fair if she didn't pay herself for the times she went late/went home early/didn't go in at all. The shop makes hardly anything, £100 per day if we are lucky.

Are the jobs vastly different then you are going for?! I mean we could all learn a thing or two from someone who gets 'job with a once friend'. Not being funny, this friend could go on long term sick or leave themselves and then won't have to bother with any reference - you are getting in a stew and eight. It could be this friend is unhappy as you. It never occurred to me one time, I had a manager who was equally stressed, well until it's become to late, it's awful to outlive ya Manager.

You've less chance of reference checking if you go for quick start jobs or roles where multiple people are needed.

I'm all for the day, when it becomes standard that instead of this reference nonsense that it becomes standard the departed successfully employee/worker is presented with a letter that confirms employment dates and that is it. It would cut down on quite a few issues. I would advise you to keep anything which may confirm employment as I do.

Thank you this is very helpful! And I agree with you 100% on references. I wish jobs had a quick chat and then just gave you a couple hours unpaid trial, rather than a scripted interview which everybody is only going to lie at, and references from people they don't even know they can trust.

I genuinely do like the job, I've made great friends with the customers and local business owners, and it's really nice and chilled out. I am reluctant to leave and get a job which I hate and feel constantly stressed at, but I have a degree, tons of experience, and good grades, so been applying to jobs in my field which would be really great to get!

robatwork

Mika you write in quite an engaging manner - I wouldn't normally last an entire OP of that length but I managed yours.

Perhaps you should think about writing and not serving coffee?

Savvy_Sue

If you like the work and get on well with customers, I'd be astonished if you couldn't get another similar job fairly quickly. And unless this really is the only coffee shop in town, it should be possible to find one in an equally convenient location.

Next lunchtime, take a wander and see what takes your eye!

elsien

Deleted%20User wrote: »

I'm all for the day, when it becomes standard that instead of this reference nonsense that it becomes standard the departed successfully employee/worker is presented with a letter that confirms employment dates and that is it. It would cut down on quite a few issues.

On the other hand, as an employer I'd quite like to know if my prospective employees had any issues. If someone's had a problem getting a half decent reference from more than one job, that's far more likely to be about them than the companies they've been workng for.

theoretica

As something to contemplate, she will hopefully give you a reference, but who will give her one?

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

Mika134 wrote: »

Thank you this is very helpful! And I agree with you 100% on references. I wish jobs had a quick chat and then just gave you a couple hours unpaid trial, rather than a scripted interview which everybody is only going to lie at, and references from people they don't even know they can trust.

I genuinely do like the job, I've made great friends with the customers and local business owners, and it's really nice and chilled out. I am reluctant to leave and get a job which I hate and feel constantly stressed at, but I have a degree, tons of experience, and good grades, so been applying to jobs in my field which would be really great to get!

If you have "tons of experience" then I imagine any jobs in your field will be more interested in the references you get from that than how well you did working in a fake coffee shop for a few months.

Incidentally people do know they can trust references because it is illegal to lie in them. All you need is essentially something saying you were working there and didn't steal anything - or at least didn't get caught. Nobody is going to expect anyone to write about you in glowing terms. That simply doesn't happen.