Where to start??

ThisIsMe14

Please help. I’m drowning and been burying my head in the sand. I had a LBM last week when I logged on to CC and thought I best shuffle again. I’ve become the clich! that everyone mentions on this board (I’ve lurkeda while, never fully admitting my problem) and was also declined for a refinance loan.

It all started when I took debt on for my partner (first rule do not take on someone debt), I tried to help with 0% balance transfer etc. However he continued to spend so I shifted it back!

I’ve foolishly ended up in the same position with regards overspending and it crept up so I took out a consolidation loan (rule number 2 don’t do this as you are tempted to continue to spend) and yup I then spent a bit here n there back on CC.

I’m now in a frightening place where I’m paying payments but all minimum but it’s leavng me with nothing each month and end up using CC to food shop etc. I’m in counselling for anxiety and depression but I’m so ashamed to admit a lot of my mental health issues are from the debt.

Low down is....
Barclayloan £12260.51
M&S credit card £3200
Halifax CC £6793.96 (3500 of this is husbands but on paper it’s in my name so my debt)
Very £272
Next £36

Husband has his own debts and he just says it will work out, just need to stop spending but I’m constantly saying but we are at stage where CC is being used for food shopping! He suggested trying to free some money from the mortgage but I’d rather leave that well alone.

I’m doing a SOA and already reduced gas/electricity abd the Virgin bill is being cut drastically tomorrow too.

Where do I start? Do I contact creditors myself? Do I contact Stepchange? What will happen to my credit score as I assume a good on is vital? Is it possible to sort and pay this while still having some kind of life ( please please please don’t pounce/judge on me, I know I’ve done it and it’s to be paid but I still would like to the odd treat for my kids, I’m watching my friend on a DMP and she is on her knees with it).

It’s took a whole lot of anxiety to post this.......:(

mumofthetwins

Hi
I'm pretty newish here but from what I know if you post a SOA someone will defo come along and help ... it's a great group full of support x

Lisa x

System

Hi, you are absolutely in the right place and doing the right thing.

There is a debt remedy tool that is often recommended (StepChange) to help you identify best way forward.

For me that was DMP - and it has been absolutely fine - and exactly what I needed to get things sorted. I self-manage and control what I pay back so now my budget allows us to live and budget responsibly (and by have a life I do mean do nice things in moderation)
By self managing, you can be in charge of what you pay back and when. Downside is that your credit score falls through the floor - but that's what this is all about - fixing a problem, changing mindset and living differently.

The DMP sticky was a lifeline for me when I was figuring out a plan - If DMP is the recommended way for you, it is worth reading it from start to finish (and perhaps going back to the previous one too)

The other thing that really helped me was YNAB - a budgeting tool and money ethos - it does cost money so you need to work out if it's worth it for you (can do a free trial) but this has definitely helped turn our finances around and ensure we pay for the basics and start to save things up.

Sounds as if you are already playing the game in terms of getting your bills as low as possible etc which is great. However I do think you and your other half need to get honest and open about exactly how much, and what this means for you as a partnership. If that can't happen - then do what you need to do for you and your well being.

Keep posting - start a diary? It's a great way to get support and stay motivated.

XRamble

Fireflyaway

Do a written budget so you know exactly what's coming in and out and then work out who you can pay and how much. You could approach a debt management plan but you could arrange it yourself. You don't have too many creditors so maybe try the snowball method? Check out dave ramsey on you tube.
Importantly make sure you close your accounts. Your next balance is tiny but if you get tempted and splurge then you have just gone backwards. Close it.
Just remember this isn't forever. You will get out the other end.