Protecting wealth in case of divorce

seven-day-weekend

pollypenny wrote: »

We have written wills each leaving our assets, including half the house, in trust so this can never happen.

I would not marry again, though.

Yes, we have too.:) Would you believe I forgot that! If my husband were to die, then my son would already have inherited his estate.

Pollycat

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have been happily married for nearly 47 years and hope to be for many more.

If I were to find myself widowed (which heaven forbid), I wouldn't want to marry again. If however I ever considered it, I would want my house and other assets that my husband and I had built up together, to go to our son, not to someone else, and then possibly his children.

I would probably give them to my son before I got married. Therefore at the time of marriage they would not be my assets. I would expect any man I might be considering marrying to do the same.

I can understand this ^^^^ when marrying for the second time when the people have assets built up over a lengthy period of time and both have children that they want to bequeath those assets to.

However, in the OP's case - his 'friend's' money appears to have been gifted by his parents and the friend & his fiancee are young enough to be considering having a family.

economic wrote: »

Hi

My friend is buying a house with his fiance. He has agreed with his finance that since he is putting a lot more into the property (some of which has been gifted by his parents) that he needs some form of security if the worse were to happen (death of my friend or divorce) so that:

- on death: some of the money my friend put into the house would go back to his parents and the rest would form part of his estate.

- on divorce: money my friend contributed to the house purchase would be given back to him and not for example split 50-50 between the couple.

Is a declaration of trust all that is needed to achieve the above? Can he have it stated in the declaration that he has to get back his share of contribution on divorce? would it be initial deposit or the house equity? Also what happens to the ongoing payments for the house like mortgage (which would be paid from a joint account)? Should my friend pay his proportion of equity for ongoing payments (as it will be unfair on his fiance if ongoing payments were split 50-50)?

What about on death? what happens if he dies, is a trust enough or does a Will need to be drawn up too? Does one override the other for the property?

Also should the house be owned as joint tenancy or tenants in common? What is best given his situation and can it be changed later without any stamp duty or other costs (except of course legal)?

All this is for the short term until they have settled down and have a baby at which point things would obviously change. Its just security for my friend and his parents really.

thanks

And that's a very different scenario to bringing assets from a 47 year old marriage to another marriage.

takman

If you think of it from a purely financial / logical perspective then you have to question what is the point of getting married?. There is very little financial and legal benefit to getting married especially when you consider the typical cost. So if anyone thinks they need a pre nup then really they shouldn't be getting married at all.

The reason people get married is because they want to express their love and show their commitment in front of they friend and family. But you can have a wedding ceremony, say all the vows and do everything they do in a typical wedding ceremony but not be legally married. One of the couple can even change their name to match the other and it could be done so nobody knew any different.
That's far better protection than any prenuptual agreement because you aren't legally married.

Before anyone says about how it wouldn't be the same and it's not showing commitment then just consider Islamic couples who have a Nikah ceremony in the UK. They aren't legally recognised as married in the UK but it doesn't mean it doesn't show commitment.

Also i think couples who aren't married but stay together for a long period of time show far more commitment than a couple who are still together simple because they "want to make the marriage work".

mattpaint

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

And not everybody thinks that divorce is likely when they marry - that seems to me to be truly immoral.

Those who don't consider it are frankly living in cloud cuckoo land.

NBLondon

The question didn't arise for us as we brought roughly equal amounts to the marriage. It does make more sense a second time around or if there are previous offspring involved. I guess if the previous assets were, say, a business - then there is good reason to be considering keeping them separate but that must be for good or bad.

If you can't discuss it openly and honestly with your spouse to be without it threatening the marriage to be - then maybe that's as much a sign that you aren't as ready to marry as you think.

sassy_one

Spend all the money on the wedding, that way there won't be any need to worry about it!

username12345678

Unless you are prepared to mentally accept that will lose 50% (or more) of what you have accumulated prior to marriage in the event of that marriage failing then you should not be going through with it.

There does seem to be research that more and more twenty-somethings are avoiding committing to the institution partly, I suspect, because divorce can destroy a lifetimes worth of work.

This subject pushed the buttons of my wife who can't understand how ex-spouses can have so little self-respect as to try and hide behind the law as a justification for trying to take as much as possible of what they haven't earned/accumulated.

I'm a little more sanguine, if you get married then you should know the risks.

silvercar

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I have been happily married for nearly 47 years and hope to be for many more.

If I were to find myself widowed (which heaven forbid), I wouldn't want to marry again. If however I ever considered it, I would want my house and other assets that my husband and I had built up together, to go to our son, not to someone else, and then possibly his children.

I used to have a real fear over this. If we divorced or anything happened to me, I had a real worry that my husband would re-marry (no problem with that part) but would then have more children or step-children who would inherit a share of what me and my husband had built up. If I can't be here I want our children to inherit in time, not anyone else.

DCFC79

You passed this advice onto your friend OP ?