Stressed

Mnd

I know it's difficult but you must not let her take any more of your pension money.
Will you ever get it back? And that is your cash for your security in your old age

fiesta1950

I am in my old age I'm 67 now. I've told her I can't lend her any more and I'm going to sit down with her and make a plan of action so she can pay me back while not struggling to pay her bills at the same time.

pennystretcher

Absolutely do not lend her any more money. She needs to learn how to manage on her own - by the sounds of it without her husband's support. The first place is to look help for the addiction and depression. Then sort out a plan how she can repay the debt.

If she doesn't sort out her gambling issue, she will get deeper and deeper in debt, no matter how many times you bail her out.

Fireflyaway

Don't give / lend / donate money again. Even if she claims its for something else. You have been feeding her habit and throwing away your hard earned savings. The best thing to do is limit the damage by not making more money available.
None of this is your fault. You can't change someone who has an addiction, they have to want to change. Neither can you force her to tell her husband or make him get a job.
Let your daughter know you are always there for support and that you love her and you are not ashamed or angry, you just want her to get better. See if there is a support group she can turn to.

Kitten868

I think the best you can do is go through her budget with her. I think it's obvious you can't run a household on one part time income. Especially one in debt. You don't need to tell her that it will be obvious from the budget. I think the battle for now might be on splitting from her partner and stopping gambling. Getting help from gambling has to come first as you now know you can lose thousands in seconds. You can self exclude her from sites. I think you're great to support her in this but as the others say - no more money xxx