Stressed

fiesta1950

Due to gambling and husband out of work for a time, my daughter got in debt to the tune of £20000 and has over the last year gradually borrowed £15200 from my pension savings and also has had a loan for £5000. She only works part time as she has a son. After much badgering she told her husband but only said she owed £7000. He won't help her and ignores her and shuts himself away. It is stressing me as I am retired and 67 years old. I am worried that if the problem isn't resolved she might do something silly as she takes antidepressants. She says she is on top of it but I know she isn't.

sourcrates

Hi,

Is her total debt the 20k plus what she owes you plus the 5k loan, or 20k in total ?

What advice are you looking for exactly, because its hard to advise without knowing the full facts.

[Deleted User]

I think that you must not lend her another penny, it is now for her with or without her husbands help to sort this mess out. Has she said that she might do "something silly?" Could she not work full time may be with your help to look after her son your grandson?
Perhaps its time for her to speak to one of the debt charities, step change are as good as any.
Also is she getting help with her gambling problem?
I'm not being critical just trying to help.

Lucky2008

Hi I'm not trying to preach, but I was, 6 months ago, where your daughter is now.Ignore my stupid username i seem to have reactivated my original account.For the record I did not take the advice from friends or family thinking I had it under control.The day I had to admit to my family I had let them down again & couldn't pay the bills will haunt me forever.

If possible all the family need to sit down & be honest with each other,your daughter needs support especially from her husband.
Contact Gamblers Anonymous or similar.
The gambling has to stop.The borrowing has to stop.

I will leave it to others to help with the finance options.

For me I'm very grateful to the CAB for advise & the likes of "sourcrates" on this forum with the many other posters who share & help.

It's not the end of the world however it feels & with small steps you can work it out.Please, Please convince her to listen & seek help.

aninvasion

I think you need to take a step back and snap your purse strings right off. No more lending!

Urge her to take advice from CAB and other debt charities out there. Go with her to appointments if you need to and then sit down with her together and work out a budget and repayment plan.

You have to address this gambling problem too, it has to stop.

Good luck!

fiesta1950

She owes £20000 in total. Just want a way for her to be debt free without paying loads of interest which would make her even more in trouble.

fiesta1950

I don't think she wants to work full time. I can't look after my grandson as I look after my stepfather who is in his 90's

fiesta1950

Thanks for the advise. She cannot tell her husband the full extent of her problem as he just shuts himself away after he has called her all the names you can think of. He should be supporting her after all he is 10 years older than her at 54.

sourcrates

Exactly 20 grand or a bit less, if not a home owner, no significant assets, Google debt Relief Order.

Other options are bankruptcy, debt management plan, or IVA.

Depends on personal circumstances, cannot be more specific as we do not know all the facts, but those are the options open to her.

Check out the stepchange website for more details.

bspm1

fiesta1950 wrote: »

I don't think she wants to work full time. I can't look after my grandson as I look after my stepfather who is in his 90's

She may not want to work full time but is she comfortable taking money from your pension pot?

fiesta1950

She's ashamed taking the money. I can't get my head round her debt. She should have told me earlier and then maybe I could have helped her sort it out. How can someone spend £20000 gambling online without thinking enough is enough? I will try and talk to her again about it and thank you all for your replies. Just talking about it has relieved me of some stress..