Aligning the Stars

Starmummy

I came across a blog recently by a lady called Cait Flanders (formally blonde on a budget).

Her blog has followed some dramatic decisions in her life, Stopping drinking, paying off $30,000 debt in 2 years, losing 30 lbs....and then on the eve of her 29th birthday deciding to go on a year long shopping ban.

She has written a book about it which I purchased this weekend, I know I know the irony of buying a book entitled 'A year of less' about a shopping ban, I assure you there were eyerolls from Mr Star too
I did pay for it with vouchers from doing surveys so no actual money was spent.

I've been thinking a lot since my debt free journey began about how easy it is to be an unconscious consumer and I want that to stop. I want to understand my spending binges, only put my hard earned money towards things I really need or completely love, be happy with less.
I have also been thinking how having less would give me more time and simplify my life.

Cait took a 2 pronged approach, she stopped shopping and she decluttered her life, getting rid of 60% of all of her possessions.
Now when I moved in with Mr Star 18 months ago I got rid of about 80% of the stuff I owned, man it was hard. But we didn't need 3 sofas, 2 dining sets, extra beds, saucepans etc etc etc. There also wasn't the space for the 2 wardrobes I owned...we now share one.

But, there is still stuff I moved with me that I haven't touched, used or worn in that entire time. There is also all the other stuff I have purchased along the way. Enough is enough.

So... I'm going to do it! I'm going to take the plunge, tackle my stuff and start a shopping ban from today.
Like Cait there will be some rules. (i'll set these out below but also paste them to the end of my first post for reference)

THE RULES

* The shopping ban will not include the majority of consumables. I will still buy:
--- Groceries
---Basic toiletries, shampoo, toothpaste etc. (skincare and basic make up can only be purchased on a 1 out 1 in basis. e.g I can buy a new mascara to replace a dried out one but I cannot buy a new shade of lipstick or nail polish, I can carry on purchasing the skin care items I use (day cream, night cream, make-up remover, hot cloth cleanser) but only when they have completely run out, I cannot buy anything other than these)
---Health care (pain killers, cough medicine, plasters, contact lenses etc. these are essentials not purchases.
----cleaning products.

* I will still purchase basic clothing for Star Child from the joint account, School uniform, winter boots, jeans, jumpers, t-shirts, pants, socks. but ONLY on a 1 out 1 in basis, e'g if she has fully grown out of it or it is worn out beyond repair.

* I can spend money repairing things I already have and want to keep. I have 2 pairs of shoes I wear regularly that need re-heeling, My everyday watch has a broken strap, my dress watch needs a new battery etc.

* I will have an approved shopping list (noted below) I can purchase the items on this list freely but I must not deviate from the list.

* I will not buy housewares; candles, picture frames, furniture, cushions, throws etc. We don't NEED any of these things.

* I will not buy books, e-books, magazines, Cd's, DVD's, subscriptions etc. I have plenty of books that I haven't read both paper versions and e-books. We have a good local library that I can use, or I can read articles for free on the internet.

* I promise to get rid of any clothes that don't fit, are in poor condition or I have never worn. I hope to really perfect a capsule wardrobe from what I already own. I think I can get my wardrobe down to 50 items of clothing, shoes and accessories (not including underwear, sleepwear or workout gear)

* I can still spend money on travel- only if I have completely saved up for the trip before booking.

*I can still have my hair cut every 8 weeks.

* i can still allow myself £50 a month for going out/social spends for myself (family days out are excluded from this they are paid from the joint account)

*I can still buy gifts, birthdays (including Star childs friends birthdays) and Christmas. But I will try and make sure gifts are experiences rather than stuff, gig tickets, for example, rather than physical things.

The Approved Shopping List
* I can replace my sports swimsuit if it wears through (1 in 1 out)
* I can but new hosiery when the old ones ladder (1 in 1 out)
* I can buy 1 new pair of PJ bottoms- I have none
*I can replace my running shoes (the old ones are 3 years old and saw me train for a half marathon last year- they are no longer supportive - 1 in 1 out)
*1 new black bra- my current one has a paint mark on from decorating- 1 in 1 out

So that's it....I think

They are the new rules.

No shopping until 8th April.

Here's to being a conscious consumer, to no longer taking/expecting happiness from stuff, to saving some money.

Wish me luck
:beer:

Starmummy

First step:
deleting/unfollowing all shopping pages on social media and unsubscribing from emails sent to me from retailers.

Choccygirl123

Hi Star

Have just sat and read your entire diary from
Start to finish and am amazed at your focus! You've done really well and I love your planning lists and goals. Looking forward to seeing your debt numbers reduce!

You've given me a huge kick up the debt!

Thank you x

NelliePie

Sounds like a great challenge! Not sure I could manage it myself but I'll be cheering you on. Your first step is a great one - less temptation should hopefully make it a bit easier.
Good luck

Starmummy

Hi Choccy girl and Nellie

Nice to see you.
I'm always amazed that people would take the time to read my ramblings. good luck Choccy. we've got this.

I need to understand my vices a bit better Nellie, I need nothing, I'm just filling some kind of void or buying I lifestyle I'm trying to project rather than living it.
How are you doing anyway? how's the bump?

Take care
SM

NelliePie

It might sound odd but I really enjoy reading people's diaries, although I've never been in debt (other than a mortgage) because I've always been a bit nervous about getting CC or loans etc, so have tried to make the most of budgeting. I have picked up so many tips and it helped my DH and I save a deposit for a mortgage in a little over a year. I think they help motivate me to keep on track with my own savings goals. (That and I'm really nosey!)

The bump is doing fine - growing rapidly but on track. I can't believe I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow, it's gone so quickly! I have 6 weeks left of work then I can properly start sorting the house out. We're still renovating so are hoping to have it done (or near enough) by the time I finish.

I think spending on 'unnecessary/luxury' items is ok as long as it's controlled and within your means and you get enjoyment out of it. But obviously in the past you've not been doing that so I think it'll be really interesting to see what you learn this year and whether you actually miss having the 'stuff'. When we were saving for the house deposit, before any purchases that were non essentials (so not bills/groceries) we asked do we absolutely need this and of not "do we want this or the house?" It really helped focus on priorities.

As always I think you've come so far and have no doubt you'll continue to keep doing well. So I'll just wish you all the luck and be here to cheer you on

Starmummy

I started tackling my wardrobe last night.

I created a spreadsheet (spreadsheets are my life) of every item in my wardrobe/ drawers/shoe box. - excluding underwear/hosiery. just over 200 items, Including 32 dresses and 25 pairs of shoes! :eek:


On the spread sheet I have a column Y= definitely keep. N= donate/sell.
there are still some gaps but I made great progress in just an evening.
Anything that I don't love/haven't worn in a year/doesn't fit or flatter is going.

There were a number of items that really made me address how I see things.

Red Full Length Cocktail Dress- Size 6!
Why was I keeping this? Well, because last time I wore it I looked amazing, like a film star- surely one day I'd be a size 6 again right?
Well....actually.... I was a size six because I'd just been through a break up, I was a single parent working two jobs and studying, I can't eat when I'm stressed. I also couldn't actually afford to eat. I was maxed out and had no money to my name. That's how come I was a size 6. Do I want my life to be anything close to that again? HELL NO!!!!

Cavalli Ankle Boots
I got these on sale- they should have been £240- I paid £54. They were the first designer thing I had ever bought. I wore them a dozen or so times but they always crippled me due to a tight arch. They also cut off my ankles at a very unflattering height. I kept them because they were designer and owning designer stuff meant I was successful right? WRONG!!! off to Ebay they go.

Multiple 'Going Out' Dresses
I don't go clubbing- I like to sit and talk and laugh and eat yummy food. Why was I keeping these relics from my past? It wasn't a more free me, it was a me that needed music and alcohol to escape from my real life. They were all too short, too tight, too tarty. GONE!!! That's just not who I am anymore.

It's amazing how much we try to attach a mood or feeling to a piece of fabric, How we try to camouflage ourselves to mask our true feelings or because we are suffering from a lack of identity. I know far more who I am these days and I like her. No more holding onto the past, no more torturing myself with clothing that will never fit or never did fit because it was wrong for my body shape rather than my body shape being wrong.


No temptation to shop or fill the gaps in my wardrobe just yet. 2 days down 181 to go


Take care
SM

[Deleted User]

Your purge has inspired me! I keep telling myself I need to have a really, really big declutter and clearout but keep putting it off. Tonight I will be making a start

System

I’ve caught up on your diary!! You are doing amazingly, you have really inspired me and I love the new challenge!

I have to say aswell that Mr Star sounds like the loveliest most supportive man everrrrr!!! And you deserve him, especially after everything you’ve been through

Starmummy

Hi Guys

Thanks Becs that's a lovely thing to say. I am so lucky. That's not to say he is perfect, but he really is thoughtful and supportive and my life just isn't the same without him in it.

I completed the wardrobe purge last night.
I was ruthless, I'm down to 57 items of clothes, shoes, bags and coats. (not including sportswear and sleepwear- any sportswear has to be used for sport not running errands)
My knitwear is somewhat lacking, 1 cardigan, 1 hoodie and 2 light Jumpers may be a bit of a struggle when the temperature drops but it was that way before the clear out- clearly i don't like shopping for knitwear.

I haven't actually thrown/donated anything yet. I've bagged it up into old luggage and put it in the cellar, far enough away to not dip into on a whim so I can do the experiment properly, but not permanently disposed off in case I've chucked something I will really regret.

I don't feel the urge to shop really, but I have started writing a list of things that need replacing from what is left such as my black suit that's 10 years old, white vest top to go under things, a nice jumper, a small cross body bag (the one i use every not work day has a broken zip)
I'm hoping to save enough money from not unconsciously shopping to invest in good quality pieces consciously.

Money news not much to say, no more put to savings,. Star Child's Dad hasn't set up the standing order for maintenance he promised he had- no surprises there really.
Just keep plodding along.

Mr Star should be back from a work trip tonight, I'm really looking forward to seeing him. We must try and squeeze in some quality time before he goes away again for a week in 8 days time. Between our jobs and Star Child there just aren't the hours in the day, neither of us are sleeping well and we are all just a bit grumpy and argumentative.

Take care
SM