Nightmare ex, joint mortgage and kids involved

lu747

So... nightmare situation my boyfriend is in, we have been together for about 8 months now and he split up with his ex around a year ago. They weren't married but lived together, had a joint mortgage and have two kids ages 4 and 8. He left the family home and moved back to his parents and as we understand cannot sell until the children are 18 or she agrees, which she doesn't.

The arrangement is that he is paying £400 towards the mortgage and £200 towards a credit payment for home improvement carried out. She then pays for the child maintenance and house bills, neither are high wage earners at all an money is tight, he has hardly anything left at the end of the month to live on and wants some money spare to be able to do things with his children. She is very hurt about the relationship ending, but has been harassing him and he has been assaulted several times. The police have gently warned her about this and she has backed down on the attacking him front, although the harassment continues (i.e constantly calling, emailing around 50-100 times a day being abusive or demanding he call about the kids but then just shouting abuse, leaving up to 20 voicemails). She knows she's making things hard and that is what she wants.

He has found a better mortgage deal fixing this for 2 years under the same term length, he proposed this to her and she point blank is refusing to agree to this, she isn't the brightest and doesn't understand that at present the arrangement is in her favour and still would be.

My question is - is there anything that can be done in regards to coming to an arrangement about who pays what without going through an expensive legal procedure that neither can avoid? Currently she doesn't understand the details of the mortgage etc but refuses on all fronts even though it would benefit them both, IE. he would have more money to help her with things for the kids if he could just fix the mortgage and save that extra £100 a month. Small amount to some, Its a huge amount to them...

She is also very difficult and controlling about when he can see the kids, changes plans last minute, tells him they are somewhere to be collected and they aren't, argues and swears in front of them and has even been violent towards him in front of them. However thats another question.... the situation is so complex and I feel its limited as to what he can do, but I do want to try and help him in the back ground without getting involved. He's trying his hardest to make it work but she's just trying her best to make it as difficult as possible.

Sorry for the long post, but I despair at all this and really am not sure there is anything that can be done to ease any of this.... :(:(:(:(:(

feekerry

No nothing can be forced unless thru courts. Did he leave her for you? Sounds like a lot of personal animosity there

AnotherJoe

TL;DR
He has found a better mortgage deal and ex wont agree

He should consult with his solicitor. The end of this current mortgage may provide an opportunity to move to a new retention product which he can do online hopefully without her involvement. Do you know when it ends?