Marriage Costs

Spendless

tho wrote: »

I've never attended a wedding with a free bar, but I've worked behind one. Without having the most moralistic guests you inevitably end up with a group who decide that instead of just a pint, they want a "oh go on, might as well make it a triple!" shot and mixer, probably still have the pint, and get a chaser for good measure. Several times. When the average persons drink cost per time changes from £3.50 to about £15, (those wedding bar prices still apply, just coming out the generous bride and grooms pocket) it quickly spirals out of control.

Food is the key, don't let people get hungry. Drink they'll sort themselves.

Yes, that would be my husband's side of the family if we'd had one or married in this country. It was what I suspected would happen at my Grandad's funeral (which is why I thought my Nan mad to have one). I saw the bar bill the following day though and it was only a couple of hundred pounds, but thinking about it, this was in a very backstreet pub, the likes of which barely exist anymore.

Mojisola

Gavin83 wrote: »

We're considering favours, but it'll be something people can keep rather than food based

Serious question - what are the guests meant to do with the favours - have a display shelf at home where the favours from every wedding they've been too are kept, drop them in the back of a drawer and try to remember to get them out if the couple visit in years to come or give them away to a charity shop?

seven-day-weekend

onlyroz wrote: »

Am now feeling bad for not having a free bar at my wedding. Have all my friends been secretly seething all these years at what a tight-wad I am?

I didn't even have a bar at mine.. We had a simple little wedding ceremony and a party at my much older sister's house. The whole thing cost us peanuts.

NeilCr

tho wrote: »

I've never attended a wedding with a free bar, but I've worked behind one. Without having the most moralistic guests you inevitably end up with a group who decide that instead of just a pint, they want a "oh go on, might as well make it a triple!" shot and mixer, probably still have the pint, and get a chaser for good measure. Several times. When the average persons drink cost per time changes from £3.50 to about £15, (those wedding bar prices still apply, just coming out the generous bride and grooms pocket) it quickly spirals out of control.

Food is the key, don't let people get hungry. Drink they'll sort themselves.

That's interesting.

I've been to one or two weddings with a free bar. And a number of occasions where the host has put a certain amount of money behind the bar. I did that on my 60th.

Generally, I've found that people respect it and don't see it as a chance to get absolutely hammered. Indeed on my 60th I think there was a few bob left over.

As you say depends on the folks. I've seen guests at weddings where the drink provided was fizz before the meal and wine with going back for more and more fizz. Mind you I can partly understand that. At one of the last weddings we were at the time gap between the ceremony and the meal was so long (bar not open) that some were thinking of nipping out to the nearest pub,

Gloomendoom

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'm surprised you bothered. We've just declined an evening only invite to a wedding which was on the other side of the country for a couple we don't really know all that well. Primary reason was cost, was working out hundreds which considering our loose link to the couple we didn't feel was worth it.

I must admit we were asking ourselves the same question afterwards. With a hotel, petrol and food costs considered, it wasn't a cheap outing. The bride of the happy couple is related to mywife though (I forget how) and they were working to a tight budget.

They did have very nice chair covers though. Different priorities.

tho_2

Most people will be good and respect it, and if you give the bar staff "rules" (no doubles/triples, house wine only that kind of thing), it's can be done. It just doesn't take much to add up. And even if there's a kitty with a limit, this can cause problems, because once thats gone, people end up paying anyway, and can be grumpy, because they wanted free.

Aside from what I said earlier, even those being sensible can get carried away, drink their pint a touch quicker, go to bar, get their partner another drink because they might as well as they're there. Partner doesn't need a drink, but hey its free.

It's a nice gesture, I just don't think -
especially if aiming for a budget - it's a good idea.

NeilCr

tho wrote: »

Most people will be good and respect it, and if you give the bar staff "rules" (no doubles/triples, house wine only that kind of thing), it's can be done. It just doesn't take much to add up. And even if there's a kitty with a limit, this can cause problems, because once thats gone, people end up paying anyway, and can be grumpy, because they wanted free.

Aside from what I said earlier, even those being sensible can get carried away, drink their pint a touch quicker, go to bar, get their partner another drink because they might as well as they're there. Partner doesn't need a drink, but hey its free.

It's a nice gesture, I just don't think -
especially if aiming for a budget - it's a good idea.

Yes. True.

I have to say I've never come across anybody getting grumpy about the money running out. It's always been made clear that there is a limit and I've found that they are more than grateful for the gesture as opposed to being miffed because they've finally had to put their hands in their pockets!

FBaby

Wedding food is always boring because you have to cater for the fussy eaters

That's my point, it doesn't have to be. We picked a much less trendy place. The meal was the choice of two starters (not soup!), main was a choice of free, chicken not being one of them, and dessert was a choice of two very nice tarts. Most importantly, every piece was clearly not bought at Lidl or Tesco (no offence to either but expect a bit more when I go out!).

Yet all this came as a much lower price than the same wedding at the trendy posh place where were got the bland meal. 5 years later and our friends still comment on how lovely the food was at our wedding. What's the point of spending so much money on a meal for everyone that nobody will really appreciate?

NeilCr

onlyroz wrote: »

Wedding food is always boring because you have to cater for the fussy eaters..

Do you?

If I ever got married again (not going to happen) I'd cater for vegetarians, vegans and coeliacs none of whom, I regard as fussy eaters, anyway. And that would be that and this is a fussy eater speaking. It's then what the two of us would like,

Plus I don't go to weddings for the food. Obviously, it's lovely to have super food that you like but not why I am there.

Having said that the two best weddings, foodwise (and overall, too), were entirely different.

The first was of a Sri Lankan friend of mine. Registry Office with a limited number of guests. Back to her place where her mum and her uncle, who is a chef, cooked up an amazing Sri Lankan feast. Second at a hotel, which was given over to the wedding, on a beautiful loch in Scotland. Smashing catering with the haggis (and a vegetarian version) being piped in.

chesky

Talk amongst yourselves people. The OP doesn't seem to be coming back anytime soon, having not visited despite posting on other threads.