How to fairly produce a will for all involved

Manxman_in_exile

Pricivius wrote: »

I agree with Mie -what's all this about fairness?


Attempting fairness with multiple marriages, children, step-children, spouses, ex-spouses, partners and ex-partners is nigh on impossible.


If house (a) is in your mother's name then it's not your father's to leave. Your mother could meet a new partner, get married and leave the house to someone else or she might sell it and go on a round the world cruise and rent for the rest of her days; you might get nothing.


My father left everything to his new wife, my step-mother. She has two sons, my father's step-children (they had no children together), and I fully expect to receive nothing when she passes away. My father knew what he was doing and that was is choice. I respect that.


If I were you, I would tell your father to do what he wants. Spend it, preferably, enjoying himself. That's exactly what I have told my mother to do. I can understand why people give up on the whole idea and leave everything to the Donkey Sanctuary.

Quite so. I think my brother (who was actually terminally ill with prostate cancer when he remarried!) assumed his new wife would see his children "right" under her will - but I'm not holding my breath. BTW - he was highly intelligent but somewhat gullible.


Anyway - it would be nice if all wills were "fair" but they don't need to be.

TBagpuss

He has no obligation to be 'fair'. However, you could talk to him to see if he can explain his reasoning, and his concerns. If he is worries that his wife would be forced out of her home, then he could leave the property (or his interest in it) to you and your sibling but with his wife having a life interest so she could continue to live there during her lifetime. .

If he feels that you and your sibling will be provided for under your mother's will and that he ought therefore to ensure that his step child is also provided for, then you could suggest he leaves the 3 of you unequal shares of the property, perhaps 1/2 to his step-child and the other half to you and your sibling.

has his wife been part of these discussions at all?

Ultimately, however, neither you nor your brother is entitled to anything, your dad is free to do whatever he wants with his property.

Manxman_in_exile

I think it's virtually impossible to give advice like this on the internet without knowing all the details - ages of children, dates of marriage and separation, values of properties etc.


But having said that - what the father is proposing does not seem all that unreasonable to me (although it may not be "fair" whatever that means in this context).


As I said before, it may be that the second partner contributed much more to property (b). We don't know.


I'm also a bit uncomfortable with dad asking the potential beneficiaries what they think about this proposals. For some reason that doesn't sit very well with me...

Yorkshireman99

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

I think it's virtually impossible to give advice like this on the internet without knowing all the details - ages of children, dates of marriage and separation, values of properties etc.


But having said that - what the father is proposing does not seem all that unreasonable to me (although it may not be "fair" whatever that means in this context).


As I said before, it may be that the second partner contributed much more to property (b). We don't know.


I'm also a bit uncomfortable with dad asking the potential beneficiaries what they think about this proposals. For some reason that doesn't sit very well with me...

With all due respect to the OP the whole thread is rather pointless. The testator just has to make up their own mind and does not need to consult anyone. In fact better he did not.

Yorkshireman99

Manxman_in_exile wrote: »

I think it's virtually impossible to give advice like this on the internet without knowing all the details - ages of children, dates of marriage and separation, values of properties etc.


But having said that - what the father is proposing does not seem all that unreasonable to me (although it may not be "fair" whatever that means in this context).


As I said before, it may be that the second partner contributed much more to property (b). We don't know.


I'm also a bit uncomfortable with dad asking the potential beneficiaries what they think about this proposals. For some reason that doesn't sit very well with me...

With all due respect to the OP and all those who have posted the testator has to make up their own mind. Most of this thread has little relevance because we don!!!8217;t know the full story of how all the competing interests inter relate. IMHO the bottom line is that not all will be happy with the outcome.

Manxman_in_exile

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

With all due respect to the OP the whole thread is rather pointless. The testator just has to make up their own mind and does not need to consult anyone. In fact better he did not.

I agree with that. The testator should know what he wants to do (it's been going on for several years?).


Also (and I'm not suggesting this is true in the OP's case) I'd be concerned about any will subsequently being challenged on the grounds that the testator had been "persuaded" to change their mind. Probably not a problem if they had full capacity, but not clear from OP.


Again (not wishing to be unkind to dad) but I wonder if he's feeling a bit guilty. apologies if this appears insensitive, but it's an odd situation.

nom_de_plume

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

With all due respect to the OP the whole thread is rather pointless. The testator just has to make up their own mind and does not need to consult anyone. In fact better he did not.

Agreed in principle although anyone making a will would be well advised to make it with full knowledge of any consequences and / or pitfalls of their proposals, often only identified when discussing these with someone more knowledgeable on the subject. Ideally an impartial Solicitor.

Manxman_in_exile

nom_de_plume wrote: »

Agreed in principle although anyone making a will would be well advised to make it with full knowledge of any consequences and / or pitfalls of their proposals, often only identified when discussing these with someone more knowledgeable on the subject. Ideally an impartial Solicitor.

Yes. I see the OP says their father has been trying to sort this out over "many years". I hope they've had proper advice from a solicitor as to what will happen according to their wishes.


My wife and I had wills drawn up a couple of years ago. (Although we both have legal qualifications we realised we didn't have a clue and went to a STEP solicitor). We got the drafts back and were happy. We then re-read them and re-read them again. Then we realised the wills didn't do what we wanted them to do, because we hadn't explained sufficiently clearly what our wishes were. (Our error.)


Got it sorted at no extra cost and our wills now clearly and unambiguously express our wishes. Money well spent!


Edit: We both thought we knew what we doing and had done our own diy wills. But we both knew enough to subsequently realise that they wouldn't work as wanted! So we paid for proper wills. What's the old legal adage - "a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client"?!


You can't sort it out once you're dead. Pay a STEP solicitor to do it properly!