Put away your purse & become debt-averse

foxgloves

@Blackats, OBL & HHoD - Oh dear, it sounds as though we all had a similar attitude to money back then. Yes, I too was absolutely convinced I couldn't save because I didn't earn enough. I sometimes used to feel a bit cross about this, actually, as though I would have a lush emergency fund tucked away if only I was on a bigger salary. We all know the truth of it, that had I diverted even half the money I spent on ill-thought out grocery shopping top-ups, takeaways, clothes, boots, eating out, boots, antique/vintage fairs, garden centres, stuff for my house, endless magazines, boots, etc, I'd have had both a functioning emergency fund & a little put away for the future too. 
Yes, HHoD, I do sometimes still catch myself wishing I had grasped the nettle 2 decades earlier. When I met the lovely Mr F, he was just as silly with money as me (& even more endebted!) so that meant that we tended to enable each other with our spendy behaviour & poor decisions. My goodness, we are so different now. I'll give you an example from just tonight......we've both been busy today, but Mr F got back from town today & just cracked straight on with the painting. It's his cooking night - roasted butternut macaroni cheese which he loves making - but he knew that he could finish the lobby tonight if he just kept going, so he suggested ordering a pizza. Now, a takeaway would generally have to come from our monthly Personal Spends money, so he said "I'll have an advance on December's spends, as I'm spent up & you'll be doing the budget next week anyway". 
"Ahem", I said....."Your Spends matey are already £45 overspent this month so I don't really think you can borrow any more from next month as it's going to leave you low for December". To be fair, it isn't his fault.....he bought something on pre-order which wasn't due out until next month but it has been published early, delivered & he's been charged for it this week. 
I know we have underspent the grocery budget this month, so I said I'd tot up what we spent on our final November grocery shop & if we had any left, we could certainly use it to pay for pizza. We have more than enough left for that, so that's fine, but that's the difference between now & pre-LBM. Back in the day, that pizza would have been ordered despite our bank accounts both being well into overdraft, nowhere near pay-day & without a care in the world. I told myself & anyone else who'd listen that I didn't earn enough to save, yet the simple cost of one take-away a month, a couple of coffee shop visits & cutting my glossy magazine consumption down to just 4 or 5 a month would have formed the basis of a positive savings habit. 
Well, we can't any of us turn the clock back. Change comes when we are ready. Maybe I did need all those financial 'close shaves' to spark that realisation of 'Enough'.
Take care all,
F xx

Onebrokelady

I'm liking the sound of Butternut Squash macaroni cheese😍😍

foxgloves

OBL - We picked the recipe up in one of Waitrose's free weekend papers a couple of years ago, but it is online too, as  Waitrose recipe. We love it.
F x

Dottles1

Speaking of embarrassing financial memories, I remember when a girl I worked with introduced me to the idea of an overdraft.  She told me how easy it had been to get one from her bank for £100 and that you never have to pay it back (so untrue) and every month you had this extra £100 to spend !    Now I am a reasonably intelligent woman but it never occurred to me that I would only have the extra for the first month as it automatically came out of my wages each pay day.  That was the start of my increasing overdraft history.
Oh I do wish that I could have a chat with my younger self but I guess I wouldn't have listened.

Kantankrus_Mare

Really interesting reading all your stories! I pride myself in being quite savvy with money ad although we built a small amount of debt around 15 years ago, I wasnt happy until we were debt free. My nanna and parents have influenced me probably more than I realise. Neither were ever well off but also never had debt istilling into me that if you couldnt afford it you went without. Would be interesting to hear your parents views on finances?

foxgloves

Dottles2-Oh yes, overdrafts felt like a gift, didn't they? I had one of varying sizes from the age of 19 to well into my 40s, often straying into 'unauthorised' territory. They are truly toxic. Very difficult to get rid of without targeted effort. I can remember my Mum saying 'You can' t spend what you haven't got' & I turned to her with surprise & said 'But I' ve still got cheques left! " I only ever had one bounced cheque & that was because I genuinely forgot to sign one, but I used to be quite creative with post-dating them at times & posting as late as possible.
F x

foxgloves

Kantankrus - It was a bit different in our house. My parents weren't wealthy but lived within their means, saved & didn't use any streams of consumer credit. My Dad had no sense of money but Mum oversaw it so this wasn't an issue. But the 'overseeing' was little more than opening monthly bank statement, looking at the balance, pronouncing on whether it was more or less than the previous month, then putting it in the bureau. If it was a lower figure, or there had been a lot of big outgoings... i. e household appliances, new windows, new furniture, etc, she would just aim to spend a little less the next month. Dad worked full time & Mum was self-employed so apart from when they were newly married & I was a tiny, they were comfortable. But I never saw any budgeting of any kind, even just checking receipts off against a bank statement or totting up outgoings to see if something could be afforded, so I didn't have any budgeting habits as an example. On the other hand, my parents were teetotal, never smoked, didn't have foreign holidays & didn't borrow money. So I didn't pick up my terrible money habits from them..... but neither did I learn any practical lessons such as creating a working budget.
This meant that I regarded fellow-students who DID budget as complete squares, which wasn't a helpful position to take from the point of view of my own finances versus the lure of a big exciting city centre on my doorstep.
F x

Pixiehouse55

Hellooooo everyone...ive cleared my barclaycard yeah so pleased. Food shops delivered/collected. All freezers fridges and cupboards full. Will only have to buy veg fruit milk and bread. I must find time to make bread, we always used too. I must pay my c card that my eye test and glasses went on. Collect new glasses tomorrow. Roast Lamb tonight, looking forward to that. John will probably have casserole from yesterday pureed up for him. Sat here still trying to finish off tax returns plus doing my knitting. Need to make a few Christmas cards and wrap up the few presents ive brought. Does anyone find it hard to buy for 8 to 10 year old? My daughter said they don't want/need anything!! Its all electronics isn't it, so I'm stumped this year. I don't like to give money at a young age but what else do you do.? Hope you are all having a productive day? Ive now got ironing to do. Keep safe my lovelies X 

amber03

Remember writing a cheque on a Wednesday knowing I had no money in my account, but as payday was the Friday and the cheque took three working days to clear I was ok. Mind you think most people did it.

foxgloves

You're right, Amber03, I think we did all do it. I didn't even know cheques could be manipulated in this way until I went to look around a shared student house when I was 19, & the landlady, who looked down her nose at us the entire time, said if we took the place, we'd all need to give her a year's worth of cheques post-dated to each month. There were 5 of us looking to share & we thought that sounded a bit dodgy, but I think with hindsight, it was just that she disliked students so much, it meant she could pay in our rent money without actually having to come into contact with any of us......or it could have been the fact that the house was smack in the middle of the red light district. We didn't take the house, but I did learn that day that cheques could be post-dated & as my endebted state had begun the previous term, it was a technique I used from then onwards where possible. Also posting things like catalogue payments absolutely as late as possible but ensuring the postmark was just within payment date in case the lateness was queried.
F x