Did you have a first dance?

We get married in a few weeks & we don't really want a first dance, neither of us like being the centre of attention so find this part really uncomfortable.
We like the idea of the DJ asking everyone to get up on the dance floor and join us for the first dance.

We've had mixed reviews from people who we spoke to, some saying 'oh you have to have one, even if its 30 seconds then everyone joins in' to its your day do what you want.

Have you been to a wedding where there wasn't a first dance?


  • edited 21 February 2018 at 12:20AM
    pigpenpigpen Forumite
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    edited 21 February 2018 at 12:20AM
    I didn't have a first dance.. I don't like dancing and I hate people looking at me.. If I got married again I wouldn't even have guests!

    It is your wedding.. do as you please!

    I spent most of my wedding day in tears because I hated being so on the spot!
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  • MysteryMeMysteryMe Forumite
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    It is up to you, it's your wedding but 30 seconds of shuffling waltz and then everyone else joins in sounds a decent compromise. I'd much rather that then watch some god awful choreographed full scale production number.
  • sillyvixensillyvixen Forumite
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    We didn't have a first dance , in fact we did not have anything to dance to (only quiet background music). People did comment it was nice to go to a wedding reception and not be drowned out by a disco - it may or may not be they were just been being polite as it was what we wanted. We did provide craft activities for the kids attending.
    I personally do not dance - I have to be very drunk to do so (it is one step above passing out on the drunkness scale)!!

    I dislike being the centre of attention and being the bride was enough attention without having to dance in frount of everyone.
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  • PollycatPollycat Forumite
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    It's your wedding, do whatever you want to do.
  • TonyMMMTonyMMM Forumite
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    We had a wedding reception after the ceremony .....at the end of that (early evening) we left for our honeymoon. No evening party, no dancing .....perfect !

    Other friends of ours did the same - left at the end of the reception for "honeymoon", but actually they secretly arranged to meet a small group of close friends for an evening drink in a pub a few miles away and ended up all going for a curry. Left for honeymoon the day after.

    You do what you want.
  • Fuzzy_DuckFuzzy_Duck Forumite
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    I didn't have one. We gave our DJ a list of songs we wanted and when he asked what we wanted played first I told him neither of us was keen on the idea of a first dance, but suggested a romantic song we both liked. My husband had other ideas though and whilst the DJ was setting up he asked him to start off with some rave music instead. It was not what I was expecting but it worked as a large number of friends who liked that kind of music immediately ran onto the dance floor.

    One wedding I went to didn't have any music at all so no first dance. I barely noticed it as they had other entertainment like a games table and people were happy to mingle regardless. Some other friends of my mine didn't want a first dance but had one anyway as it was expected. They spent a painful 5 minutes making eye contact with the guests and begging us all to join in as they didn't want to be the centre of attention.

    I think getting your DJ to announce the dance floor is open to everyone is a good idea, and if you have any bridesmaids/best men maybe also ask them if they'd be willing to get on the dance floor first so your guests feel comfortable about joining in.
  • I did have a first dance and was not looking forward to it because I don't like being centre of attention and I don't like dancing.

    We basically just shuffled on the spot and smiled for photos and actually it turned out to be fine.

    Just make sure that you have bridesmaids, best men, parents, etc ready to join in so that it's not just the two of you for too long.

    Saying that, it's your wedding and I think you should do what you want :)
  • 74jax74jax Forumite
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    No first dance.
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  • GloomendoomGloomendoom Forumite
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    We didn't plan a first dance. Unfortunately, nobody told the band and they announced the first dance was about to take place and struck up. My wife had to do it with her uncle as I had gone off across the fields in my land Rover with some mates.
  • skimperskimper Forumite
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    Just a little update... We got married on 17th March, we told friends & family prior that everyone had to join in from the start. The DJ announced that we weren't having a traditional first dance & we wanted everyone to join in.

    Everyone did join in so no awkward shuffles, people did give us a bit of room for the photographer to take photos, but no one was paying us much attention they were too busy dancing away.
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