Divorce Advice

FBaby

Indeed, what a odd thing to agree that you would pay everything, with her salary being her disposable income, and not remortgaging together at some point or are you saying you never cleared up the ccj? If so, why didn't you make this your priority?

Is it correct that she started to pay the mortgage fully on her own at some point after you separated? How long ago was that as it is less clear that you would be entitled to any equity built up after that time.

Pa_Ja

You say that you forked out for all renovations, how did you fund this whilst paying for everything else?
Loans, credit cards etc? If so the debt should be split during divorce proceedings if you can prove the money was used for those said things and not your own personal.
You've been emotionally burned on this one. Perhaps accepting the original amount offered by FIL is the wisest decision thus protecting your pension and the risk of shelling out several thousands on court proceedings.

sassyblue

Do you still have a copy of that document you signed? Regardless, if it came from father in law it doesn't sound like it was a legal document because that should have been sent to you independently and advising you to take legal advice upon it, thus you signed it without the benefit of legal advice.

You've already had good advice and definitely get that matrimonial home right notice registered dipsy linked to.

The starting point in any divorce is 50/50 (of available monies/equity) but factors like children, length of marriage and who put what in all depend on the settlement you are likely to receive. Good luck and see a solicitor ASAP.

The only point I would disagree with is mgdavid's point 1, hopefully there will be no need to see what the court thinks if you can agree a settlement between your respective solicitors, and there's always Mediation before the court process, if both of you agree to attempt mediation, (or just the one of you if the mediator thinks the other party will not engage).

mgdavid

sassyblue wrote: »

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The only point I would disagree with is mgdavid's point 1, hopefully there will be no need to see what the court thinks if you can agree a settlement between your respective solicitors, and there's always Mediation before the court process, if both of you agree to attempt mediation, (or just the one of you if the mediator thinks the other party will not engage).

'hopefully' doesn't cut it; OP has stated she's turned nasty and abusive so if he wants to chase after a fair share it's hardly going to be a picnic is it? I have painted the two extremes to try to make the choice easier. It depends on whether the OP wants to move on sooner or later.

reallyconfusednow

Thank you all again for the replies, appreciate you taking your personal time to try and help a stranger. I!!!8217;ll keep this reply brief as I have to be up early but, in answer to the questions, I afforded the renovations, cars, holidays, and everything else by working very hard, not a single credit card, overdraft or indeed penny of debt, I was in the fortunate position of earning a healthy basic plus (what now seems like) astronomical commissions, every penny of which I spent on our marriage, naive now looking back but you live and learn. The stupid part is, I don!!!8217;t want to cause her any hardship or issues, but when you!!!8217;ve paid 6 figures into something, she didn!!!8217;t and doesn!!!8217;t care less if I!!!8217;m on a park bench, when this first happened I was sleeping in a van for a long period too and whilst I don!!!8217;t want conflict, upset or to cause anyone issues, I feel that if that!!!8217;s her attitude then I am within my rights to seek recompense. The solicitors I saw this week also advised I should place a charge on the property and collate my bank statements with evidence of payments, a charge doesn!!!8217;t help anyone though, and I don!!!8217;t want this stringing out for the next 20 years, I simply want a reasonable outcome but it seems she expects for me to have paid all that Money and to just walk away and be quiet whilst she gets on with her life in the house that I almost built from scratch, it!!!8217;s funny looking back because throughout the relationship I always worried about it and she always told me to stop worrying we were married nothing would happen, ever, and even if it did she wouldn!!!8217;t do this, I always said yes but what if, her response was to shoot me down telling me I was being stupid, low and behold I was proved right. I!!!8217;ve also found out recently she!!!8217;s been bad mouthing me to anyone that will listen which also hurts, I!!!8217;ve done nothing to her and have been beyond amicable and understanding bearing in mind I lost my home and everything is worked for, in many years. Even when she got a new partner I told her I want her to be happy and so forth, they!!!8217;re both now shacked up in the house I spent everything I!!!8217;ve worked for on and I!!!8217;m sorry if anyone on here disagrees but I!!!8217;m afraid it hurts, and as of now solicitors aren!!!8217;t even really telling me what the best course of action is. At this point, I!!!8217;m really losing the will, with everything.