Aargh expecting and scared!

vcharnett

Hello everyone..

this is my first post so apologies if this has already been posted elsewhere!!

Just found out i am approx 5 weeks pregnant. This has come as a real shock as i am on the pill. Me and my hubbie only recently got married and are still paying off the bill, we hadn't planned for kids for another year or so...

we dont earn a great wage an to be honest i was hoping to have paid of my debts and saved before having a family... so please any money tips/advice would be much appreciated! i havent got a clue where to start, i dont even know what i will need to buy??!!?? :eek:

sharon59

my first born was a big surprise 26 yrs ago we had also not long been married etc....however as l have grown older l just accept that it was meant tobe.He is a fantastic son and if we had waited till we could afford him-lm not sure the time would ever have been right-there is always something else to pay for/buy!!!we have just finished putting him and his 2 sisters thru uni and they still cost us but its lovely!!!
Dont panic yet about what you need for a baby -it is early days and being an MSE'er you will get lots of tips on getting bargain baby things.spend a little time getting used to the idea.congratulations and good luck
sharonx

mummy_Jay

Hey ,

First thing is calm down, congratulations, give yourself a chance to let it sink in.

Your not going to be buying anything til your at the very least 16 weeks gone, just for safety sake, this is just to be sure no hiccups.

First thing to work on is the budget and your preferences. (i.e. nappies reuseable or disposable but yoiu have planet of time). You will get about £18 child benifit a wk, possibly tax/working tax credits and maternity pay of one form or another.

Lets start with you for maternity clothes I found H&M brillant and they do put them in the sale, you are going to a bit later on need to look at bra without underwire if you think about breastfeeding. Invest in a good pair of trainers when your 4 months gone.

Babies don't need to much to start with and your going to get lots of presents. I have a list I wrote when I had mine, that I give to friends now. It's way too early for this list but I will post it any way (I've left off the hospital bag list). Everyone will have a different take on this list but it may give you a point to start thinking from

• Nappies – if you need disposable ones at night supermarket own brand are very good (better than the well known brands I found)
  • Washable ones – look at Boots cotton bottoms, they do a birth to potty set that has just about everything you need in it and you can go into the shop and have a good look at them before you buy.

[*]Snuggle robes x2
[*]Blankets/bedding for a moses basket
[*]Moses basket
[*]Changing mat (I found by putting a towel over the changing mat and having it in the front room with me, my boy would happily lay on that/ or in his baby gym to sleep rather then dragging the moses basket around the house)
[*]baby wash,
[*]baby wipes
[*]nappy rash cream (sudacream)
[*]either baby oil, grapeseed oil OR lotion (to keep there skin moist after a wash)
[*]Car seat mirror (you can get mirror to put in the back window so you can see baby when your driving)
[*]Baby on board sign for car (V. important)
[*]Window shade for baby
[*]Bath water tester (tells you if the waters too hot, frequently free with )
[*]Nail scissors later on

• Moulded bath chair (really useful frees your hands up to wash them)
• Bouncy/rocker chair (get a low one, they high ones when they get bigger they can tip up be careful)
• Pram (I personally would say look at these rather than a travel system go for something light weight, suitable from birth and not too room consuming for the boot of your car)
• Baby sling/carrier (make sure you have back support around your middle)
• Mobile or something reflective to but next to or above the changing mat to distract the baby when you’re changing them

Later on
Bottles (min 3 9 oz bottles)

• Bottle brush
• Steriliser (I have been leant a steam steriliser that is great)
• Cot (travel cot will do the job)+ bedding
• Safety gates

Baby sleeping bags instead of a layer of bedding are great
When buying baby clothes separates last longer

Buy baby clothe at supermarkets etc nice and cheap they grow out of them in weeks, at the beginning.

I hope this helps some.

Merlot

Hi, Congratulations.

I got married ten years ago in the July and in late August I discovered I was expecting too, a real shock for the pair of us and I was on the pill.

Use the pregnancy months to pay off as much as you can, and my best advice to you is don't buy anything new if you can help it, check out freecycle, adverts in papers etc, you simply don't need half the stuff available on the market, and it doesn't make you a bad parent for not doing so either.

Congratulations again and enjoy your pregnancy, I loved being pregnant once I got over the morning sickness.

I've just checked out the above post, its my opinion only, but you really don't need some of the above items: why would anyone want a baby on board sticker for the car, a moses basket? you can use the cot or the pram. Use your elbow to test the temperature of the water. I never used any of these things, nor did I buy into the endless safety equipment for the house either, it doesn't make you a bad parent not buying these things, buy only the essentials and what will suit your lifestyle and budget. Baby paraphernalia is a huge profit making business, and you don't need to be contributing to that.
Merlot

Edit: I remember this thread from some months ago, you may find it useful, it tells you pregnancy secrets from real mothers that the books don't tell you, enjoy it with a mug of coffee//http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=251468&highlight=pregnant

this link is a baby shopping thread from a few months ago, I hope it is of some help.//http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=463482&highlight=essential+baby

mummy_Jay

Ok, the baby on board sticker is more important than most people give it credit for. It tells the emergency services there is a baby in your car and to make it a priority incase of a crash.

darich

mummy_Jay wrote: »

Ok, the baby on board sticker is more important than most people give it credit for. It tells the emergency services there is a baby in your car and to make it a priority incase of a crash.

I've heard that one before - but how many parents remove the sticker when the baby isn't in the car?
If someone's hurt, then baby or not, the emergency services will be there as fast as possible.

It also doesn't make drivers behave any differently in my opinion - and just last year i had a mother with 3 kids under the age of around 5 try to force her way into my lane and thump my front wing in the process.
Stickers and babies don't change poor driving habits nor do they accelerate an ambulance.

Merlot

mummy_Jay wrote: »

Ok, the baby on board sticker is more important than most people give it credit for. It tells the emergency services there is a baby in your car and to make it a priority incase of a crash.

Please forgive me, but I have never heard anything so silly in my life, the emergency services as far as i know do not give priority over anyone for a baby, my BIL has just confirmed that via text, he is a GP.

Do you remove the BOB sticker each time you go out without baby, cause if you had a slight bump and the emergency services where called, I would hate them spending time looking for the baby which wasn't in the car in the first place.

Sorry this has to be the daftest reason on earth to spend a couple of quid on a useless BOB sticker. This is MSE afterall and you shouldn't waste your money.

chattycathy1674

Hiya and congratulations!

Don't stress yourself out....there's never a right or wrong time to have a baby. If we all waited until the time was perfect then the population would be wiped out! It's happened so it was meant to be. Enjoy.

As someone above said...try and pay off what you can now before baby arrives.
Babies don't have to be expensive! It's very tempting..especially with a first baby..to go out and buy the best of everthing that's ever been made for babies....but they wont use half of it! And if they do it won't be for long and you'll have wasted a lot of money!
Early days yet...a lot of people air on the side of caution and don't want to tempt fate by buying stuff before the 12 week mark. That's up to you but it's a good idea.
You may find family members or friends offering to buy something for baby ie grandparents offering to get the pram. Any offers accept lol!
Be a savvy shopper and look around.....mothercare is great but can be expensive. There are lot's of independant baby stores in local towns that stock the big brand names for a lot less money. And as mentioned before....ebay and freecycle will always prove useful! I'm not saying get second hand stuff....If you want new that's fair enough....you can get some bargains.
It can be as expensive or inexpensive as you want it to be. Second + babies....people are a lot wiser and know exactly what they need etc and kick themselves about all the 'must have' items they bought first time round!

Oh and car sticker.....silly concept to me! Again as said before...would you take the sign out when baby was not in car? Doubt it! Would the emergency services then be scrambling around in an accident looking for a baby that isn't there? Daft idea to have them...waste of money. Each life is as precious as the next. The emergency services would not choose one over the other!

Anyway....enjoy!!!

Cathy
XoXoX

foreversomeday

This thread seems really helpful, got no kids myself yet but it sounds good strong advice to me!

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=71893 "Having a baby OS style"

Just remember there's never a good time to have a baby, there will always be something in the way, sometimes it's better to accept it as fate - if you were planning on kids anyway just be happy it's a bit sooner than you anticipated!

Don't forget the lovely folks on here and many other websites dedicated to parenting etc will always be on hand to offer support and advice!

And don't forget your hubby, sometimes they feel a bit left out with all the mother-and-baby things going on! (But make sure he looks after you too ;-))

Also one last thing - you will no doubt be getting different advice from all sides - don't lose track of the fact it's your baby, your decision.

madison's_mum

Hi congratulations!
I would say my best buy was one of these http://www.mothercare.com/gp/product/B000IVU056/sr=1-21/qid=1192798938/ref=sr_1_21/203-0006732-9947915?ie=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42855041&mcb=core the baby can use it from birth so you don't need a baby bath and you dont worry about dropping the baby.
Also i had a child on the 100th centile for height so she outgrew her rear facing car seat in 5 months (they are supposed to last about 9-12 months) so next time round i will be getting one that goes from birth to 4 years (would have saved me about £100!).
We had our 1st pram given to us, then we bought 1 we liked, then got a smaller one because the 2nd one was hard to collapse so i would say go to a pram shop & push a few around & collapse them before you get one. Dont forget to check if they will fit in your boot when folded.
We had a baby sling and used it twice cos it hurt my back so much & the baby was only 7 & 1/2 pounds, never had a moses basket as we were in a one bedroom flat so no room but DD slept in her pram for the first month anyway!
We used a cotbed from around 3-4 months until she was 2 + 1/2 when she went into a bed. Cotbeds are bigger but the bedding can be a lot more expensive.
Dont be afraid of secondhand stuff (apart from carseats), nearly everyone i know who has had a baby has clothes or toys they have put away cos they were too big & by the time they got them out the baby had outgrown it! So alot is good quality. I got bought an outfit i hated by a friend of my mums. The DD wore it once when we knew the friend would see it & she never wore it again.

Good luck!

madison's_mum

Also one last thing - you will no doubt be getting different advice from all sides - don't lose track of the fact it's your baby, your decision.

I second this, i got loads of contradictory advice & just went with what worked best for DD, OH & me.