Can I divorce this way?

incognito16

Hi all

First time posting.

My ex-husband and I separated in July 2017, having been married for 6 years. We have a primary school aged child together and own a property jointly.

We're fairly amicable (ups and downs, but generally doing ok) and so we're trying to save money by not using solicitors if possible.
My ex has agreed to pay me a small lump sum in return for my share of the house, we both agree on that. Our child and I have moved out, he is still in the house. The fixed rate on the mortgage is up in a few months and the broker we used is confident that he can get a sole mortgage for the property in my ex's name.

Our plan is to start divorce proceedings, get all that finalised, then apply for a clean break order (or consent order I think it's called?). A the same time as sorting the clean break order he will pay me the small lump sum. Once that's done hopefully it'll be around the time that I can come off the mortgage, and then we'll take my name off the land registry.

Can anyone think of anything that might mean we can't do the above?
I just want to make sure we get this done in the best way possible, without both skinting ourselves in the process. Thank you.

Tigsteroonie

Are there any savings?
Are there any shared or individual debts?
Do either of you have a pension?

I presume that child access and maintenance is a separate issue that you have either resolved or are resolving through appropriate means.

Edit. Where are my manners? Hello, and welcome to MSE! Thanks for joining us.

Comms69

incognito16 wrote: »

Hi all

First time posting.

My ex-husband - husband, he's still your husband, you're not divorced yet (sorry but it's if you say ex, people might think you're divorced already). and I separated in July 2017, having been married for 6 years. We have a primary school aged child together and own a property jointly.

We're fairly amicable (ups and downs, but generally doing ok) and so we're trying to save money by not using solicitors if possible.
My ex has agreed to pay me a small lump sum in return for my share of the house, we both agree on that. Our child and I have moved out, he is still in the house. The fixed rate on the mortgage is up in a few months and the broker we used is confident that he can get a sole mortgage for the property in my ex's name.

Our plan is to start divorce proceedings, get all that finalised, then apply for a clean break order (or consent order I think it's called?). A the same time as sorting the clean break order he will pay me the small lump sum. Once that's done hopefully it'll be around the time that I can come off the mortgage, and then we'll take my name off the land registry.

Can anyone think of anything that might mean we can't do the above?
I just want to make sure we get this done in the best way possible, without both skinting ourselves in the process. Thank you.

Sounds very sensible. Worth getting a solicitor for an hour each to perform some due diligence, but otherwise, good on you both.

incognito16

Thanks both - sorry should have been clearer really. Separated but not yet divorced so yes, should have just said husband!

I have a couple of thousand in savings from a redundancy in November. Found another job straight away so haven't had to touch it thankfully. I'm not sure if he has any savings, he didn't when we were together but potentially has saved a bit since then.

In terms of debts, he has a bank loan in his own name that he's always kept up the payments on. I have no debt.

We both have the usual workplace pension.

I'm not looking at asking for any money etc apart from the small sum we've agreed on for my share of the house.

Tom99

[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]If you can amicably agree a split of your assets then there is no need to employ solicitors for the divorce, it will be far cheaper. You will each need to fill in a financial declaration of all your assets and debts to apply for the financial order.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, sans-serif]Have you considered your pensions, they can sometimes be the most valuable asset involved.[/FONT]

incognito16

Sorry missed the other bit!
Child maintenance - he's currently paying a small amount every month that goes towards childcare. Other than that I've said I don't need anything monetary from him. We both work full time and go halves on school uniform/trips etc.
Access is fine. He works difficult hours so she lives with me full time, but whenever he isn't working on a weekend he'll have her a couple of nights and sees her for a few hours during the week on a couple of evenings. As much as he can, and I help out by picking her up and dropping her off when necessary so he doesn't have to travel in his work van etc. He's also welcome to pop round for a coffee and see her when he can if he's working in the area at the weekend.
We're really just trying to make sure little'un doesn't suffer unnecessarily.

incognito16

Thanks for the response.
We're both relatively young still, so pensions don't have a great deal of value at the minute. By the time they're worth anything it feels a bit unfair to try and have a slice of each others. We've both just agreed that our pensions are our own and not bother with the others. I guess that gets sorted in the consent order after divorce?

Tigsteroonie

Sounds as though you are taking a sensible approach.

I think one of you may still need to employ a solicitor, as I think the Consent Order has to be drafted by somebody experienced at doing so (in order to get the phrasing correct). But I'm not sure, hopefully one of the divorce specialists will be along this evening to advise (TBagpuss?)

theoretica

Have you looked at the grounds for divorce? If you are divorcing on the grounds of separation you need to have separated two years ago.

barbiedoll

You may be young but you’re both showing great maturity in dealing with this. There should be little impact on your child and you both seem keen to ensure that a fair deal is struck between you.

As other posters have said, a solicitor may be needed to ensure that all documents are valid, I assume that you would split the cost of this?

I hope it all goes according to plan and that you manage to remain on good terms in the future. Your daughter will appreciate this more than you’ll ever know

Caroline_a

It does sound very civliised but I would look more closely into the maintenance side of things for your child. It's ok to say you don't need anything from him, but maintenance is for the child, not for you. If you can get by on what is currently happening that's fine, but you should really check what should be paid as in that case any surplus that is due can go into a savings account for the child.

You also need to consider that things may change when you or your husband find someone else/have other children as new people in the extended family can cause problems not seen when all is nice and friendly. Better to get it done properly now rather than having to fight later.