Friend wrote cheque to me day before he comitted suicide

Malthusian

The legal question has been clearly answered, so I'm confining myself to the etiquette question.

say that you choose to honour your friend's wishes in due course and put a charge on the estate for that amount.

I wouldn't say anything along the lines of "I choose to honour my friend's wishes..." when you're asking for money (which is 100% yours). If the executor is in the wrong frame of mind, it comes across as sanctimonious.

I would just write to the executor and say "[after some brief condolences] X wrote me this cheque (copy attached) before he died, and I would be grateful if you would administer the estate's debt in due course". I would write a separate letter to the relatives expressing my sorrow. The executor may well get both letters.

And as per Eddy, if it was less than four figures I would write it off and tell the executor to forget about it.

Yorkshireman99

eddyinfreehold wrote: »

What an awkward situation. I am very sorry for all involved. My initial thought is that this is probably not a small sum of money. If it is small or relatively small I would be of a mind to write a brief note to the executor saying that you are very sorry etc etc and return the cheque and tell them to forget all about it.

It might however be a significant amount and intended as an important parting gift to a friend. Only you can decide what constitutes 'significant,' but if it was £ 3figures I personally would leave it. People with depression or other disorders very often do strange, inappropriate and random things when 'on a high'. If however you wish to accept the gift then your only option is to write a diplomatic and sympathetic letter to the executors with a copy of the cheque and say that you choose to honour your friend's wishes in due course and put a charge on the estate for that amount. Maybe you feel now is not the time to press the matter, but you will be in touch later.

On a purely technical point if the gift is over the £3000 annual allowance, or your late friend made gifts totalling over this and his estate is liable for IHT, then the gift will have to be deducted from his allowance. This is for the executor to sort.

I hope things work out well for all parties.

There really is no need for any of this. The cheque on its own is proof of the debt and there is no need to look behind it.

ska_lover

Margot123 wrote: »

The deceased clearly intended for the OP to receive a monetary gift by way of a 'thank you' for their friendship.
It would be remiss of the OP not to at least attempt to fulfil that wish. If they don't, then in years to come it may play on their mind that they didn't.

very true

i am all for avoiding stress

ska_lover

Margot123 wrote: »

The deceased clearly intended for the OP to receive a monetary gift by way of a 'thank you' for their friendship.
It would be remiss of the OP not to at least attempt to fulfil that wish. If they don't, then in years to come it may play on their mind that they didn't.

very true

i am all for avoiding stress + we all have to do what we can live easiest with