Country living, yes or no ?

moneyistooshorttomention

Mgman1965 wrote: »

So along with other points made on here both for and against it was agreed she wouldn't feel really safe or be totally happy so it's been put on the back burner and we're staying in town for now certainly.

The other aspect of "safety" too being not just the "what happens in own home re any intruders" angle.

Other aspects of "safety" re one's own home is the sheer number of "fallback places" if it comes to it if things arent working properly in your own home for some reason.

- the laundrette if your own washing machine isnt working
- variety of places (swimming pools/saunas/etc) one can go if the shower/hot water/whatever isnt working
- places to eat out if the cooker isnt working
- even just having places to "just be" and sit and read or whatever if the whole house is feeling untenable for some reason temporarily (eg its winter and the heating isnt working or it's barely possible to live in it temporarily for some reason).

In a bigger place there is always the "Doesnt matter a huge amount if there's a powercut to the whole road" thought because you know there will be a choice of places within walking distance you can go and buy a meal/have a shower/just be in the warm (and with "something to do" if you want external entertainment). So you never worry that much - as long as you have a few £s spare to "flash the cash" at the problem.

In a smaller place - there may not be much/if any of that. Your home HAS to keep working okay end of....

Having moved to a much smaller place - that all came home quite forcibly during first winter here/renovating the house/not knowing anyone yet....

Davesnave

As Suki says, rural crime is mostly the theft of stuff like chain saws in sheds and outhouses, or it's domestics and anti-social behaviour, usually centred on a few individuals.

This is why a good perusal of Police UK is vital, to ensure that you don't end up next door to the loonies responsible. The site won't give exact addresses, but it shows close enough where any trouble spots are. In our village there are two; avoid those and you're fine.

Crime can be very localised. Even in the city where we used to live, Police UK shows virtually no recorded crime in our old cul-de-sac, which is how we experienced it. 200 metres as the crow flies, it's a very different story.

But if your wife doesn't like the thought of living without street lights, or being far from a hospital in an emergency (been there, done that) then no amount of statistics will make her feel better about the idea. That's something aside from the inconveniences people have spoken about.

Davesnave

Murphybear wrote: »

We are looking to move again.

Didn't you receive an S21 recently?

ibizafan_2

OP, I see your location is Northamptonshire, so very close to me. Many people are unaware that the villages are amongst some of the most picturesque anywhere. We love driving through them and perhaps stopping at a country pub. That’s as far as it goes, however. Nice to have them on your doorstep, but some of them are very isolated. I agree with your OH, and pleased you have reconsidered.

cloo

Murphybear wrote: »

We lived on the edge of a market town in rural Devon for years. It was about a mile from the nearest supermarket so that was OK. Unfortunately we had the neighbours from hell.

We moved in August to a farm not far from Dartmoor. It’s dreadful. Nearest supermarket is 13 miles return. Nearest Dr and pharmacy ditto. No decent other shops within 20 miles. It’s muddy this time of year. The nearest village is half a mile but there’s nothing. No shop, post office or pub.

We are looking to move again.

Yes, sadly a lot of rural infrastructure like pubs and small shops has gone. Hope you find somewhere better soon.

Glad OP has had discussion with other half and the question is settled, though sorry it's in a rather negative way.

Pupnik

I grew up in a rural location and loved it. The bad weather was never a problem (apart from when it flooded on a few occasions) and seeing rolling hills and woodland covered in snow is a lovely sight, and one of the things I miss about living in the country is really seeing the seasons change properly.

I'm in a small town now and it's right for me at the moment but I'd like to go back to the countryside one day, but for me the biggest problem is transport as I don't drive myself and I don't really want to right now. When I lived in a village I got the bus everywhere and the bus stop was a mile away from my house, up an unlit road with a sheep field on one side and a wood on the other, no pavements. There weren't that many times when the weather was so bad the bus wasn't running or the road was unmanageable but you do need to be able to rock a flourescent vest for safety

As others mentioned, crime in the country is a little different. We had the alloys taken from the car once, we had the occasional trespasser, we had dogs break into the garden and kill chickens and ducks, but I always felt safe. In the town flat we were broken into and I always felt suspicious after that. A friend up the road has been burgled 3 times since they lived here. We had noisy neighbours, people burning plastic waste, neighbours arrested right on our doorstep, people dealing drugs and stolen bikes etc.

Things were a bit different while I was growing up in the o!!!!ryside though - we had a local police officer who would do the rounds, now long since gone, a village shop (shut mid 90s). There's still a pub but that's it. But people in villages manage, you eat more from tins and store cupboards so you can do big shops to stock up less frequently, grow fresh produce, have chickens, have milk and newspapers delivered. There is still a mobile library in my home village (for now) and the next village over has a mobile fish and chip shop on Fridays. Larger villages with more than one pub will often do social events so perhaps a decent sized village instead of a hamlet might be better for you.

Pixie5740

Pupnik wrote: »

The bad weather was never a problem

There's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing

trailingspouse

I've done the lot - big city, market town, small village, remote Scottish island.

There are good and bad to all of them.

In cities I love how easy the shopping and the culture is to access. In market towns I love everything being close at hand. In villages I love everyone knowing everyone else and being there to help out. On the remote Scottish island I loved the wide open spaces and the birdwatching.

In cities I hate the pollution and the anonymity. In market towns I hate that the shopping can sometimes be a bit lacking. In villages I hate that everyone knows your business. And on the remote Scottish island I hated that we were so far away from pretty much everywhere.

I'm really pleased that you've had a proper conversation with your wife. Rural living is fab - if it's what you want to do. But it sounds like it really isn't for her.

vics_1982

Mgman1965 wrote: »

Update.

Well, me and OH had a full frank (and a few tears from her) discussion about this last night having both read this thread.

It came out in the end her biggest fear is being isolated on her own on dark winter evenings when I'm working late and evening shifts. Her biggest worry is (although she admits not really substantiated) is crime, having read rural crime is on the increase, and the fact we were burgled one night whilst in bed (our springer spaniel went mad and saw them off) and it really frightened her as to what could have happened but for our brave dog doing her best to protect us.
She said had we been rural how long would the police have took to get to our aid (we saw a programme on TV about rural Scotland where the emergency services would take over 40mins on blues and two's to reach you (great she said if your trapped upstairs with your house on fire and flames licking at the bedroom door, having a heart attack, or a mad axeman is chopping your front door dowm to get at you).

So along with other points made on here both for and against it was agreed she wouldn't feel really safe or be totally happy so it's been put on the back burner and we're staying in town for now certainly.

All of these scenarios can happen in town, we have never been burgled / had things stolen since we moved to our present home yet when we were in a semi rural village we had a motorbike stolen, a break in with jewelry taken and the shed got done over a couple of times. As long as things are locked up i think this is deterrent, we also have PIR security lights and cameras so if you come close to the house in the dark the lights come on. I do agree about being on your own if you are late but that's what curtains and locks on doors are for. I dislocated my knee (not quite heart attack or life threatening) but jolly painful in October and had to wait about 3 hours for an ambulance or any help and i was in a big town! If its an emergency they will send a helicopter etc.

That said, if she doesn't like it she doesn't like it and if shes not happy you wont be eiher

sheramber

Here, it is not unknown for people to leave their doors unlocked when they go out.

There is a pub which serves meals and a hotel with a public bar in the village 7 miles away.

We have a community hall where event take place. We had 60 people at our New years Eve bash and are now planning a Burns Night.
W eh ave a monthly film club- £25 for 12 films followed by tea/coffee and home baking all done by volunteers.

We have a swimming pool/gym 20 miles away which is often empty so you get it all to yourself.

There is a swimming pool, library and laundrette in he town 17 miles away.

And , of course, there are neighbours and community spirit. You know, like it used to be everywhere. Everybody looks out for everybody else.

A neighbour's son leaves his scooter on the grass verge an the end of our single track road.He gets lpcked up on the main road to go to his work.

It is still there when he comes back at night.

Piles of logs or piles of dug pat lie at the side of the road for months until needed. Sand/gravel etc can get dumped to be collected at a later date. Nobody steals it.

That would not happen where we used to live.

You see in such a rural area every body knows the locals and a stranger immediately stands out.

When we go away for a few days it is noticed by those passing by and anything unusual would be noted and investigated.

Life is very much on the slow lane.

. Many people brought up here move away for work but they come back regularly to visit.

But not everybody can adapt to the life My DIL is a shopaholic so couldn't live anywhere but in a city but my other son and his girlfriends love it here.

The only sound you hear at night is the owl hooting and the 'dark skies' at night are fantastic