Is Child Maintenance enough?

JustFair

Hi All,

This post is to hopefully put me on the right track with something so I can decide how to tackle, Id be happy to hear your thoughts.

I have been separated from my ex wife for nearly 3 years now, we have both found new partners and have an arrangement regarding payments for our children, and this is where the issue is!

I currently pay my ex just over £580 a month (based on the CSA Calculation as agreed), I also support with large school uniform purchases and school trips. However, over the last 3 year my ex has constantly asked me for more money to help with my children's after school activities because she says she cant afford it. As you can imagine this is causing a problem with my currant partner.

She has even started saying to my children that they can do things but only if I pay half, which puts me in an awful position where I either pay or be the one to stop them doing something whilst she can just sit back.

Is it me or is she being unfair? Should I stand my ground and say no? I'm scared that she will try to turn my kids against me.

What do you think? Please be honest?

Thank you

Comms69

Your payment should be for everything. - that's the theory behind it.


£13920 should be plenty for a share of food, utilities, rent etc and uniforms and activities.


That's £1160 a month!


Christmas, birthdays etc I might count separately, paying more especially on 'big' dates.

Darksparkle

If you’re paying the csa amount then I see no reason to pay more for day to day things (which to me include classes/clubs etc).

JustFair

Thanks for the replies.

Comms69 - Can I ask how you've got those numbers please?

Darksparkle - Thank you

Thank you

Comms69

JustFair wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

Comms69 - Can I ask how you've got those numbers please?

Darksparkle - Thank you

Thank you

Both contributing equally?

JustFair

Comms69 wrote: »

Both contributing equally?

That is a fantastic point! I never looked at it that way. Thank you!

Money_maker

Wow and my friend told me yesterday her ex isn't helping out with school shoes and so forth ... he pays £20 month.

poppy12345

Wow £580 per month and your ex is asking for more? I personnally think she's extremely lucky that you pay that much! To ask for more is just plain greedy! My ex paid nothing!

I'd know what i'd be telling her to do with her requests of more money! Words of which i wouldn't repeat on here.

JustFair

poppy12345 wrote: »

Wow £580 per month and your ex is asking for more? I personnally think she's extremely lucky that you pay that much! To ask for more is just plain greedy! My ex paid nothing!

I'd know what i'd be telling her to do with her requests of more money! Words of which i wouldn't repeat on here.

Thank you. I will use my imagination on the words to be used

Diamandis

I would definitely expect her to pay for any clubs out of the amount you provide. Is it that she genuinely can't afford it? Does she not have her own income?

Mojisola

JustFair wrote: »

However, over the last 3 year my ex has constantly asked me for more money to help with my children's after school activities because she says she cant afford it. As you can imagine this is causing a problem with my currant partner.

She has even started saying to my children that they can do things but only if I pay half, which puts me in an awful position where I either pay or be the one to stop them doing something whilst she can just sit back.

The children of parents who still live together don't get to do all the clubs and trips that they want - money only just goes so far.

Using the children in the way she doing is disgraceful.