All the single ladies vs 145k

sofarbehind

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Cut your losses? What losses, has your property not went up in price since you bought it? even if not, if I felt miserable for so long, I wouldn't care about the losses.

You have everything going for you, age is on your side - they wouldn't even give me a 20 year mortgage :eek: (done me a favour, though ) - you could say I earn half what you do, but I still pay either the same or more including o/ps every month on my mortgage. Once you have a goal, it's amazing how you find the energy and incentive to reach it.

There is so much you can do - affordability doesn't seem to be the problem :j, and as I see it, that's the only problem that could/would hold you back, that and not being able to sell your own property:(

As someone once said to me (aka - a good kick up the backside ) - "no point sitting there waiting for it to happen, if you want it, you have to get up off your backside and go get it, your the only one going to make it happen"

So I did (aged 52)

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this AFK. It made me smile. It really isn't the response I expected. In answer to your questions, my house hasn't gone up and I think I may get 10k less than I paid for it but it's hard to be sure. What is stopping me? I think fear of a huge mortgage. My salary has only just reached this level, it's not something I take for granted at all and I have struggled a lot in the past like the rest of us. My family are all in council houses and on benefits and for some reason I had a huge fear of taking out even this mortgage and debt in general. I know it's irrational but that has held me back from house buying to be honest. I'm odd, I know.

bexster1975 wrote: »

You could indeed move if that's your best option, but truth is you need to drive it, no one else will.

ETA: could it be that your feelings about the area currently are coloured by your newly single status? I'm not trying to be rude, it would be perfectly natural. Just might be worth giving it a few months
Bexster

Thanks for your comments bexster. I have been wondering the same. I miss a running group I was part of in particular and there is nothing similar here. I work long irregular hours so can't do anything consistently, i.e can't lead a regular meet because I can't be there every time. I just need one other person to help me. At the moment my fitness isn't good enough for me to feel confident enough to do this. If I can get it back I could try posting on facebook and putting up fliers. It would be good for my confidence to drive something. I'm such a follower. I think you have a point about being single, my ex is in my preferred area so I still spent time there. I knew this was a mistake the day I moved in. It just feels worse now because I spent so much time alone here.

ninnoodle wrote: »

Would you accept maybe a lesser house for the better location? I realised I had to compromise - either a beautiful house in a not quite right location (isolated, everything 10 miles drive away) or my perfect location and possibly lesser house. As it turned out, my possibly lesser house is actually perfect - I love it. Maybe take the bull by the horns and start looking - keep your options open and go and visit places you might have written off previously just by looking at the online schedule? There's nothing like seeing a place in person and then imagining your life and the possibilities there

Thanks ninnoodle. 250k would buy much less house. I did have similar thoughts but wasn't as sensible as you. I could definitely afford a very nice flat in my top location but decided against a flat. So I think I need to decide if I opt for a flat or much bigger mortgage and little house.

For now I don't have enough savings for moving costs so I can't do this tomorrow but I think I should go and speak to Halifax and see what they would lend me and discuss porting my mortgage. I'm already looking carefully at re-budgeting so in a couple of months I can see how I would manage. I think the new repayments on a 250k place would be the 1000pcm I'm just starting to pay now.

Thanks very much everyone for being so kind and constructive, I'm really touched. I know I'm very, very lucky really and have no right to moan.

A_Frayed_Knot

[FONT=&quot]Thanks so much for taking the time to write this AFK. It made me smile. It really isn't the response I expected. In answer to your questions, my house hasn't gone up and I think I may get 10k less than I paid for it but it's hard to be sure. What is stopping me? I think fear of a huge mortgage. My salary has only just reached this level, it's not something I take for granted at all and I have struggled a lot in the past like the rest of us. My family are all in council houses and on benefits and for some reason I had a huge fear of taking out even this mortgage and debt in general. I know it's irrational but that has held me back from house buying to be honest. [/FONT][FONT=&quot] I'm odd, I know.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Shame about the property decline, but you never know.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The thing that stopped me for so many years was the same factor, fear of mortgage and not being able to afford it, and not really being in a secure job until my 30's, unsure if I was staying put or what. I had never had any debt, except a policy I took out for 10 years at £10/20 a month - boy did I think that was me in debt for 10 years [/FONT]:eek:
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]When I bought this - an ex-council property I may add, I had sleepless nights repeating over and over - what have I done, what have I done [/FONT]:eek:
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]When I reached the age I did, I thought is now or never as nobody would give me a mortgage any later, so took the plunge and not looked back. Security is there so long as I keep working - another incentive to become MF early [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Sometimes we all need that crutch propping us up or to catch us when we start sliding down, but you know I just talk myself out of it - I just look on here and see what else I can do to ease the MF journey [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]What I didn't tell you was that the person giving me the proverbal "kick" was myself. I just needed a good talking to, and to stop feeling sorry for myself and as time goes on, your confidence and independence will climb to limits you didn't know possible.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
Funnily enough, you turned it round before . . . what am I talking about ??? you can do it again.


Who was it that decided they weren't earning enough and decided to do something about it


As Bexster said - you will know when the time is right, only you can decide.

newgirly

Just spotted your diary and wanted to wish you all the best, I hope you can come to a decision that you are happy with about whether to stay where you are or move, it's something I've wrestled with over wthe years, in the end we stayed where we were in a smaller house in our favoured location. Anyway all the best

plumduff55

Hi, with the help and support of MSE I paid off my mortgage 10 years early in 2007. I was on a lowish wage and paid 60% of my earnings to my mortgage each month. After living very frugally for a few years it becomes a way of life and you don't just change once the mortgage is paid. I then used the money to have several cruising holidays and also build up a nice nest egg.

As I was nearing 60 there were management changes at work and after loving my job of 25 years I really began to hate it. So I left !!!

I have now been retired for 27 months and love my life. I waken every morning thinking how lucky I am and spend my time knitting, sewing, quilting, baking, cooking, meeting friends for coffee, visiting my family and playing with my 3 grandchildren.

All of this has only been possible by paying off my mortgage early and having the savings to supplement my NHS pension till I get my state pension when I am 66.

So, well done everyone, keep on the mortgage free journey - you will never regret it xx

ninnoodle

Hi Sofarbehind - would a new place in your ideal location be £250K or is there anything cheaper? Could you get a cheaper place for instance with a view to extending in the future? It might be worth doing the old pros and cons list - where you are now vs your ideal location. Also consider the future - once your mortgage has been paid off on your current property, would you want to stay there? If not, would it hold it's value and be easy enough to sell? Is the other location closer to your work and therefore you could save on car / commuting costs if you do that? In the long run, it might just work out, and certainly could work out for your happiness.

Hi plumduff55 - thanks for sharing your story! You are in a great position - it's inspiring to read how others have done it

pinkypig

Awwww sfb don't be sad:( You've made so many positive changes in such a short space of time. You've done brilliantly so try and be kind to yourself.

I know home is key to wellbeing and it may prove that a move is the right option for you but bear in mind its a s**te time of year, it feels dark and dismal and so b****y cold its hard to enjoy anything never mind your running. Also, speaking as a someone who found themselves unexpectedly single it knocks you for six. That heady mix of loneliness and shattered self esteem is brutal but it does, in time get better. Someone said to me that you can't go looking for love but if you start to love yourself it will find you. It took a while but they were right:D. In the interim years i regrouped and rebuilt. It didn't happen all at once and often felt like I'd stalled but little by little you realise you are nudging things forward.

Your focus on health, diet and fitness is a great place to start. Dig deep, you're stronger than you think you are :A

PP xx

sofarbehind

Hello everyone,

Thanks for all your words of kindness, I was really touched and your support means so much. I've been thinking things over and you lot are right about the impact of my recent break up and the gloomy time of year. I'm going to get saving and budgeting over the next 6-9 months before I make any decisions. Then if I feel the same I will have my moving costs together and will know it's not just an emotional reaction.

My slow cooker meals after work have been wonderful and I spent only £30 on food this week so I'm really pleased with that. The slow cooker is on again right now.

I have stuck with the running this week and been out three times despite really struggling and having to run-walk. Grrr. Why do I seem to be getting less fit? Trying not to think about it too much and just go consistently 3-4 times a week...

pinkypig

That sounds like a great plan and a big, positive step forward - good for you :T

Seriously, well done on the running, three times a week is brilliant and you're not losing fitness its the b****y conditions. It takes it out of you when its this cold. My lungs practically went into shock yesterday:rotfl:

So glad you're feeling better, keep at those baby steps forward and don't beat yourself up if you feel like you've had a fail - we all have them if we're honest. Onwards and upwards lovely lady, you're doing great:D xx

sofarbehind

pinkypig wrote: »

So glad you're feeling better, keep at those baby steps forward and don't beat yourself up if you feel like you've had a fail - we all have them if we're honest. Onwards and upwards lovely lady, you're doing great:D xx

Ah thanks PP, you are so lovely and always cheer me up. :A I will get there, just need to keep going.

pinkypig

You are very welcome:) . You're doing all the right things and sticking with it which is hard when you're still at the habit forming stage. Becoming a Singleton again, in my experience, swings from being a great motivator to being a black cloud that envelopes your head in the early days. Its not always easy but seize that motivation when its there and when the black cloud descends grab your running shoes and force yourself out of the door. 20 minutes later black cloud seriously reduced or gone completely. Promise

PP xx