Help Needed, what are we entitled too

FBaby

My opinion, Gemma, is that you need to do what is right for your family.

And families need to start to realise that working as few hours as possible is NOT what is right for families. It's like taking a plaster and a pain killer to relieve a cut which is only masking and delaying the problem.

Pipkin, your situation is not comparable due to your disability that always prevented you from working and invest in your and your children's future. Of course you valued being at home with your children, wouldn't we all, but again, it was at the cost of a family who didn't get that luxury. This is perfectly acceptable in the case of disability preventing working and paying taxes to support those who need it, it isn't when it's a lifestyle choice.

The irony is that it's people like you who are penalised most because OP doesn't only intend on taking from the pot that needs to be shared, but will then not contribute to the same amount so people even though they are perfectly capable of doing so.

Jenniefour

Gemma, have you considered moving back to London? I ask because I know a few folks/families who have moved out of London. It worked out for some and not for others - some have moved back and not regretted it. It sounds as though the two of you had a plan which didn't work out business wise so is it worth reconsidering whether there is still enough advantages for you/both of you/family in the south west?

System

I wo9rk part time and claim tax crredits and PIP.

I would give ANYTHING not to have bipolar and be able to work full time and not to have to rely on benefts. Don't sell yourself short, its no life. Don't take your health for granted. Be grateful you could actually work full time and provide for yourself and not be like me and rely on government help.

FBaby

On a kinder note, it might be that you feel overwhelmed at the moment with a 3yo and 6 months old and desperate for more help from your OH. If that's what is prompting your current mindset, then just hand on, it WILL get easier.

I went back to work FT when my baby was 5 months old, eldest 3yo (at nursery FT) and my partner was working 1 1/2 hour away, so not able to help at all during the week. Gosh it was hard, but I just got on with it, at times on a day by day basis.

Don't make decisions that could affect the rest of your life and that of your children based on how you feel right at this moment. Maybe give yourself another 6 months at least, time for your OH to look for a better paid job or a similar paid job more local, or looking at how you can do some work yourself and re-evaluate how you feel then.

gemmajones1221

Thanks for the response, whats ''Come over to the old style board''?

pipkin71

gemmajones1221 wrote: »

Thanks for the response, whats ''Come over to the old style board''?

If you scroll down the forum, it's called Old Style Moneysaving. There are lots of ideas for making money stretch further and some fantastic meal ideas on there, as well

ska_lover

gemmajones1221 wrote: »

I appreciate your post but believe me, we really dont feel guilty about fusion the system that is available, my husband is 45 and been working non stop 50hrs a week since he was 18 so now we are going to enjoy life as we have paid more than the fair amount in for other people to benefit

I feel you are misguided with this sentiment.


I think you do need to do what is right for your family, but throwing in the towel in order to claim benefits, isn't the right thing, its lazy and neglectful - and really will be showing your kids a path of sitting back and the world owes you a favour


However if that is what you think is right for your family but feel this is misguided

SandraScarlett

meer53 wrote: »

[QUOTE) I appreciate your post but believe me, we really dont feel guilty about fusion the system that is available, my husband is 45 and been working non stop 50hrs a week since he was 18 so now we are going to enjoy life as we have paid more than the fair amount in for other people to benefit[/QUOTE]

Wow :eek: Just Wow :eek:

Another poster who thinks that working and paying taxes/NI is some sort of personal savings account. I'm fuming :mad::mad::mad::mad:

OP, !!!!!! do you think would happen if everyone thought like you do ?

Gemma, if your husband is 45 and he's been working since he was 18, that means he's been working for 27 years. Many manual male Baby Boomers worked from 15 till 65, a little less than twice the years your husband has worked.


It was usual, and accepted, that they would work far more than 50 hours a week. Until my children were older, my late husband worked 7 days a week, having a weekend off every couple of months.


Without working these hours, we would have been struggling, even though I did typing and bookkeeping at home to make a bit of extra money. We didn't have a car, let alone 2, but we weren't unusual. We "made do", which is the mantra on the Old Style board,


Most families experience hard times in the early days, and meer53 is correct in saying that it's not a personal savings account. Just take a look on the Discussion Board and see how us Oldies get a bashing for receiving a pension!

FBaby

Without working these hours, we would have been struggling, even though I did typing and bookkeeping at home to make a bit of extra money. We didn't have a car, let alone 2, but we weren't unusual. We "made do", which is the mantra on the Old Style board,

But at the time, you didn't have an option to do any different. I don't think people are that different to one or two generations ago, the difference is that the system is encouraging people to take the easy route. Somehow, the authority above assumed that only those who truly needed benefits would apply for them and forgot to take into account that human nature means that even people who don't actually have a need for benefits will make the best of the opportunities available if it means having an easier life.

Unfortunately, turning back the system without penalising those who really need it is difficult and the more people depend on it, even when they don't need it, the more outrage there will be. Saying that, I'm surprised that there hasn't been more outroar with the change in terms of tax credits and limit to 2 children, and the new legislation coming into effect in terms of smi, nor universal credit that means that you can't claim tax credits if you have a nice pot of savings somewhere, or an extra property.

mademoiselle_2

Disgusted by this woman's attitude! She's holding up her husband's work record of 27 years as if it were some kind of Olympian achievement, that absolves her of any moral responsibility to work, contribute to society, and pay for the consumer goods and lifestyle she so clearly wants.

But with 2 children under 4, YOU are not holding up a long work record, are you, missy? How long have YOU worked, 10 years? Before you got tired of it? YOU are conforming, in my mind's eye, to the stereotypical lazy, SUV-driving SAHM who thinks everything - including the takeaway,who cooks! - should be delivered on a plate to you!

I get so very annoyed when I see posts like this, people find this website and assume it is a scam-artist's paradise of tips on how to claim benefits and shirk your responsibilities.

In actual fact - and as a user of this forum for several years - I can tell you that the vast majority of people on here are decent, hard working, morally responsible people who are simply seeking to live within their means. Not scrounge! A lot of us have put in 40 years plus of working. A lot of us intend to work as much, and for as long as we can - because we know that's what holds society together, and that's what should provide for us in our old age.

Not shameless money-grabbing!

I shall stop now as I'm so annoyed.