Post Split Housing Advice

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So I've recently found myself in need of somewhere new to live after finding out i'd been 'Replaced' so to speak.

Now a bit of background might be useful so folks can understand:

- Current house is rented from a trust, they own an estate of houses which are rented out as private lets. We are both named on the lease which is currently on a 1-2 month rolling contract and has been for ~2 years. We live there with our 2 children.

- Ex considers this to be 'her' house now we will be separating, which is fine by me, I don't want the kids to be uprooted from the family home, they will be facing enough without that. However she also told me not to talk to the trust as they wont let her stay, as she doesn't work, she has been a SAHM for the last 6 years, which has worked for us up to now.

As I see it, and correct me if I am wrong, I have every right to be at the house until such time as my name is no longer on the lease? I'm staying with a friend most of the time, but the children cant stay with me there, so I stay at the house with them, and she either stays in the bedroom, or goes to her 'friends' house. I stay on the sofa.

We have agreed to as close to 50/50 time with the children as practicalities allow, but she thinks I should go rent anywhere I can get.

Am I wrong to want to speak to the trust who own the house and explain what has happened and inquire about the possibility of my own house, with enough bedrooms so the kids dont have to share, they are only young but i'm thinking long term, garden, storage etc.

Ex is dead apposed to this, claiming this is her part of town, I have no right to live anywhere near her etc. Dont get me wrong, I don't want to live next door to her, but I cant help but think that she just wants to have her cake and eat it, with me still on the lease, so on the hook if she decides that Topshop is more important one month than the rent, and knowing I would never put the children's home at risk so probably end up paying it, but I have to live in any old place as it suits her?

The houses are rented at below market rate, and are lovely detached bungalows, so she can afford the rent, but I suppose that would be her issue.

Any thoughts gratefully achieved, and if you have read this far, sorry for the rambling backstory!!

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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    sufcfan1 wrote: »
    So I've recently found myself in need of somewhere new to live after finding out i'd been 'Replaced' so to speak.

    Now a bit of background might be useful so folks can understand:

    - Current house is rented from a trust, they own an estate of houses which are rented out as private lets. We are both named on the lease which is currently on a 1-2 month rolling contract and has been for ~2 years. We live there with our 2 children.

    - Ex considers this to be 'her' house now we will be separating, which is fine by me, I don't want the kids to be uprooted from the family home, they will be facing enough without that. However she also told me not to talk to the trust as they wont let her stay, as she doesn't work, she has been a SAHM for the last 6 years, which has worked for us up to now. - So how will she pay the rent? You realise if she falls into arrears they can chase you for it?

    As I see it, and correct me if I am wrong, I have every right to be at the house until such time as my name is no longer on the lease? - Correct. I'm staying with a friend most of the time, but the children cant stay with me there, so I stay at the house with them, and she either stays in the bedroom, or goes to her 'friends' house. I stay on the sofa. - You need to find somewhere to have your children overnight, this arrangements wont work long term (unless you plan to reconcile)

    We have agreed to as close to 50/50 time with the children as practicalities allow, but she thinks I should go rent anywhere I can get. - Long term that would be most practical solution. (or she can)

    Am I wrong to want to speak to the trust who own the house and explain what has happened and inquire about the possibility of my own house - I would speak to them, but they are not obliged to help you, nor remove you from the tenancy , with enough bedrooms so the kids dont have to share, they are only young but i'm thinking long term, garden, storage etc. - think short term. Find something suitable for 12 months.

    Ex is dead apposed to this, claiming this is her part of town, I have no right to live anywhere near her etc. - Ignore her? I mean why are you even discussing this with her Dont get me wrong, I don't want to live next door to her, but I cant help but think that she just wants to have her cake and eat it, with me still on the lease, so on the hook if she decides that Topshop is more important one month than the rent, and knowing I would never put the children's home at risk so probably end up paying it, but I have to live in any old place as it suits her? - Exactly. Which is why the sensible thing to do is give notice on the property, find your own for you and your kids and let her sort herself out

    The houses are rented at below market rate, and are lovely detached bungalows, so she can afford the rent, but I suppose that would be her issue.

    Any thoughts gratefully achieved, and if you have read this far, sorry for the rambling backstory!!



    When you say a trust, do you mean a housing association?
  • sufcfan1
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    Comms69 wrote: »
    When you say a trust, do you mean a housing association?

    No, its a charitable trust who own them, but they effectively act as private landlords.

    Thanks for your thoughts, i thought as much, I need to take the emotion out of it and think of myself first, which isn't what i'm used to.

    I know whats happening at the moment cant last long term, but as she hasn't bothered her backside to sort her housing benefit out yet, I cant move on until she does. Back to her knowing I wont put the kids home at risk I guess.

    I know the answer is that its her problem now, just struggling with it all I guess.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    sufcfan1 wrote: »
    No, its a charitable trust who own them, but they effectively act as private landlords. - excellent. just wanted to clarify. In essence it's the same as renting from joe bloggs. (ie no duty of care towards further housing)

    Thanks for your thoughts, i thought as much, I need to take the emotion out of it and think of myself first, which isn't what i'm used to. - yourself and your kids.

    I know whats happening at the moment cant last long term, but as she hasn't bothered her backside to sort her housing benefit out yet, I cant move on until she does. Back to her knowing I wont put the kids home at risk I guess. - It's just bricks and mortar. Home is where you lay your hat as they say. Find something nice for you and your kids. If she cant do the same, well they can live with you and she can pay maintenance.

    I know the answer is that its her problem now, just struggling with it all I guess.



    Whilst you continue to enable her, you are doing your kids and yourself a dis service.


    So big boy pants time. Get onto a letting agent, or rightmove, or the trust. Find a nice place and go from there.
  • PasturesNew
    PasturesNew Posts: 70,698 Forumite
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    Here is a fact of life to take into consideration: Whether YOU tell the Trust or not, everybody else will know that you have left - and spotted that she doesn't work - and ANYBODY can take it upon themselves to inform the Trust if they, for any reason, choose to do so. It might be that others think "she's not entitled" - and it would be handy if their offspring/sibling/friend could move to that spot ....

    Somebody will tell them, that's pretty much a fact.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,104 Forumite
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    sufcfan1 wrote: »
    - Ex considers this to be 'her' house now we will be separating, which is fine by me, I don't want the kids to be uprooted from the family home, they will be facing enough without that. However she also told me not to talk to the trust as they wont let her stay, as she doesn't work, she has been a SAHM for the last 6 years, which has worked for us up to now.
    This is the first thing to check: generally a landlord doesn't care how the rent's being paid, as long as it IS being paid. True, they may not accept new tenants who are not in paid work and can't pass affordability test, but I think it would be questionably legal to have a clause in the tenancy agreement stating that eviction would automatically follow the tenant no longer being in paid work.

    As has been pointed out, they don't HAVE to remove you from the tenancy agreement, and they may say that they will only do so if she can pass the affordability test on her own, but I can't see how NOT removing you from the tenancy agreement would lead to her eviction. It would just leave you liable for the rent if she stops paying - and that's obviously not a situation you want to be in long-term!

    Can you phone and ask some hypothetical questions without giving your name?
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  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
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    Savvy_Sue wrote: »
    This is the first thing to check: generally a landlord doesn't care how the rent's being paid, as long as it IS being paid. True, they may not accept new tenants who are not in paid work and can't pass affordability test, but I think it would be questionably legal to have a clause in the tenancy agreement stating that eviction would automatically follow the tenant no longer being in paid work. - It wouldn't really matter. s.21 procedure doesn't require a reason.

    As has been pointed out, they don't HAVE to remove you from the tenancy agreement, and they may say that they will only do so if she can pass the affordability test on her own, but I can't see how NOT removing you from the tenancy agreement would lead to her eviction. It would just leave you liable for the rent if she stops paying - and that's obviously not a situation you want to be in long-term!

    Can you phone and ask some hypothetical questions without giving your name?


    The Op can just end the tenancy by giving notice too
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