Can a relationship work without chemistry?

alison_1989

I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months, and I would say a few months back things felt differently, it felt like the chemistry has disappeared. I have the best girlfriend ever, she’s so kind, and caring, everything I wanted in a person, but I don’t think there’s any spark I don’t think I even want to sleep with her anymore. This is very upsetting because I really want us to work, and I don’t think I’ll find someone as caring as her.

Can a relationship work without chemistry?

74jax

No................

passatrider

In a word, no.

AubreyMac

Depends what you mean by 'work'.


My parents didn't marry for love. In their culture, country as well as generation, getting married was the expected thing to do. And separating/divorce would be scandalous. They've been married 47 years now.


From my observation I wouldn't say they had chemistry as such. But chemistry and romance is not what they believe in or bought into. They do have a *love and respect for each other.


*They are both loyal, faithful, trustworthy to each other and will look after one another. Just 2 people mutually cruising along in life together.

The_Ang

Building a relationship or getting married is a decision. Even, to love someone is a decision. When you decide something, things will happen.
The traditional culture of Asia has proved that. Most people got married because of matchmaker. Many of them never met before.

determined_new_ms

there is a psychology theory that there are 5 basic elements of what we look for in a relationship - helpfully I don't remember them all but humour, sex, security, connection (and something else!). We all have our dominant 2 or 3 and then the others to lesser or greater extent. For some not having "chemistry" or "a spark" wouldn't matter if their main needs were met and for others it would be a deal breaker. None of us can advise if it is or not for you

ThemeOne

I'd say it can work as long as you're both realistic about what you're getting into.

But if either of you are still nursing the idea that your relationship is second best because there's no spark, then what would happen if one of you comes across someone where there is a spark?

Also how does your girlfriend feel? You haven't said.

In some other cultures, and even in British culture of past centuries, "spark" didn't really come into it.

robpw2

yes you can have a relationship without sexual chemistry but then you have to have something to keep you together

Grenage

It can probably work if neither of you are interested in sex. I'd wager that there are many such couples; if you aren't one of them, then it seems unlikely - at least in a closed relationship.

PeacefulWaters

Sounds like you're probably taking her for granted.

Mojisola

ThemeOne wrote: »

But if either of you are still nursing the idea that your relationship is second best because there's no spark, then what would happen if one of you comes across someone where there is a spark?

This is the big risk - unless you have strong social pressures which will keep you functioning well within the marriage despite wishing you were with someone else, it's not likely to be a happy way to spend the rest of your life.