Wills, Minors and Guardians

olgadapolga

I hope that this is the right place for this

My husband and I are sorting out our wills. We have four children, one of whom will be 18 in January. The others are 14, 13 and 5 and will therefore require a guardian if we were both to die before they reach the age of 18.

The solicitor has explained to us the role of legal guardians (in that they don't have to take on the day-to-day care of the children but would have an input on decisions regarding them) and we are in the process of asking family/friends if they would take on the role if we both died. My oldest daughter (who is 18 in January) would want to look after her siblings but also has ambitions for her own career (and rightly so) so she'd need support, which we are trying to sort out.

However, I do have concerns about my children should both my husband and I die as there are certain "close" members of both sides of the family (as in blood ties, nothing else, we don't see/speak to them) who are really very unpleasant people and I would not want them either taking my children in or making decisions for them, let alone getting access to the money we would leave in trust for them.

Can a will be written so that these people are totally excluded from caring for/making decisions on behalf of my children? My children don't really know these relatives and I cannot imagine that my children would want to live with them/have anything to do with them. If they want to see these relatives when they are older, then that's up to them (whether or not we are alive or dead). My three older children are old enough to make their feelings known but my youngest has never met these relatives and I'm not sure how the legal side of things would stand for her.

I would just like to get some idea of whether or not this is possible to put in a will before looking like a total idiot when we go back to the solicitor

jackyann

Yes, olgadapola, you can.

One important thing to remember is that you can state in your will who you would like to be guardians and make arrangements accordingly. However, should you both go under the proverbial bus, Social Services will be legally required to ensure that the children are properly cared for. By making your will, you make everything much easier. Social Services will follow your wishes, unless there is something that makes your choice of guardian very unfit (it happens very occasionally) but usually it goes through quickly. The children are better cared for, as things go more smoothly, and they have some comfort in your choice.

Very rarely, if there are no obvious guardians, Social Services will search for blood relatives, but they would not place the children with relatives from whom you were estranged (that only happens in films for comedy reasons!)

Your solicitor would advise you as to whether you need to specifically state this in your will. But bearing in mind that Social Services must act in the children's best interests, and take their views into account, and given their ages, I would have thought it unnecessary. The older children will explain the family situation. The youngest is of an age to say that she would not like to go to people she doesn't know, and her wish to be close to her siblings will be a major factor as well. Also, this is only going to arise if there is a major problem with your original choice of guardian.

This is very thoughtful of you, let's hope (as with our similar will) it is never necessary.

olgadapolga

Thank you so much for the explanation, jackyann, I am so relieved to hear that I can try to keep these awful people away from my children. It's sad that I have to do this but they really are pure poison.

As my oldest daughter is 18 in January, and as she's okay with it, then she will be named as a guardian, along with her godmother (whom my children all know and like) and a close friend. That way, I hope things will turn out for the best for my children if the worst happens to their dad and I.

And you're right, my four year old would definitely be very vocal about stating who she'd want to be with (totally adores her older sister and brothers).