Cremated and flowers

loulou41

Just would like some advice regarding cremations and flowers. For burial I know you can leave all the floral tributes on the burial plot. What happen if it is a cremation when you spend lots of money for flowers esp the personalised ones? What is the practice regarding cremation and flowers? Thanks

seashore22

My personal experience was that the flowers were laid out in a dedicated area for attendees at the funeral to look at. No idea what happened to them once we all went home. I don't suppose they will leave them for too long though.

I think some families request that donations to charity are made instead of flowers, which I think is a great idea. At my funeral I would like one lovely arrangement from my immediate family and that would be it.

elsien

in my local crem, after the day of the cremation the flowers are moved to another room, the flower hall, so people visiting to pay their respects can still see them and read the cards. Not sure how long they stay there, probably a few days. You could always phone your local crem and ask.

loulou41

A very good idea for donation for charity. It is very nice to have loads of flowers but they are a waste of money. In my friend's case the adult children will be a personalised dad tribute and the grandkids teddy bears arrangement. Am not sure what hers will be. I was going to suggest donations to cancer research but do not want to cause any upsets.

PasturesNew

We said "family flowers only". The flowers were moved from the coffin to the outside area during the service and when people walked out they could see them. Once everybody had gone, we then took them home.

It's a difficult one really .... it depends if you have room at home for them and/or if the bereaved family really want a reminder of their deceased hanging around for a week or so.

But - it is OK to take them home or to leave them.

In some care homes they re-purpose the flowers to do simple flower arranging with the residents, as an activity .... I don't know if they realise the flowers are from their missing friend or not. And/or they then become table decorations for a week by popping a few into lots of small glass vases in the middle of the table.

cullet

At my local Crem the flowers are placed in a dedicated area where they are kept for a couple of days then disposed of.We took some of the flowers away with us after the service to place on the graves of other relatives buried elsewhere.

barbiedoll

When my aunt died earlier this year, we only had family flowers and we bought bunches rather than arrangements, so that we could bring them back for the wake. We made sure that everyone took some flowers home afterwards, and we gave some to one of her elderly neighbours who couldn’t attend the actual service.

We left a bunch of daffodils (her favourites) at the crem. And we did buy a lovely heart-shaped arrangement on behalf of my mum, which we also brought home, my mum had it in her garden for days afterwards.

It’s up to you and your family. Some people seem to think that it amounts to “stealing” flowers from a graveside, but we knew my aunt would have been very keen for everyone to enjoy them on her behalf. In fact, she spoke to me about her funeral arrangements several times (she was 96 when she died, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected) and she always said not to spend silly amounts on flowers because, and I quote “ They won’t be any bloody use to me, will they?”

Robin9

When the wife of a friend died earlier this year he made a wreath of balls of wool and knitting needles - his wife was a keen knitter and a member of the church Mother's Union

The ultimate in recycling as the MU would make them into clothes for premature children.

SevenOfNine

Same as most of the others, our crem put each individual deceased persons in a single section within the crem's dedicated area. Up on shelving & also fixed to things on the wall if the display lends itself to that (sheafs etc). The name of the deceased is on a card on the wall so you can see whose funeral it was as anyone can go there any time during opening hours.

After the service the mourners walk through it to look at them (& everyone else's if they feel that way inclined). The crem staff leave them there until they are past their best, usually a week or two (if space allows).

If you like you can take them away with you, we tend to go back the following day & collect them to lay them in our garden for as long as they last.

I photograph them & remove the dedication cards - put it all in a keepsake album.

The saddest thing for me is where a loved one has been buried & the beautiful floral displays put on top of the grave once it has been backfilled....................& there they stay ROTTING & ugly for months & months & months. Unless they are close by to one of my loved ones, then I'm not adverse to shoving them in the bin provided a few at a time!

mum_of_joey

After my mother's funeral several years ago, we had the wake in a friend's house as it was more convenient for the guests and I went home alone as I live some distance away. I asked a friend to go with me back to the crematorium after the wake and left some of the flowers there and took two displays home to put on a bench in my garden, where I photographed them, and left them out as a remembrance to me. I tried to press some of them also, with varying results. But the point was that they weren't stuck miles away in a lonely spot - after all, my mother's ashes weren't there, only the flowers. The ashes were being dealt with and processed to be returned to me.

Moogles44

Yes we had them laid out to see in an area after the service. Afterwards we took the ones that looked like arrangements, not the personal shaped ones, round to nursing homes involved with the care of that person and to people that meant something to the deceased person .

I feel sad if there are no flowers at all at funerals of people close to me but understand reasoning and it’s nice to contribute to those charities