MeandO's mortgage-free musings

MeandO

£6 Amazon voucher requested from survey points today.

plymouthscubagirl

Hi MeandO
Don't know if you can remember me but we chatted back when you were splitting up with your chap, as did I at the same time!
Our sons are the same age too.
Hey you've done amazingly well so kudos to you. We were both in quite a bit of debt (I still am) so well done to you! Now going for mortgage free too.
I read your diary with sadness (you're doing a cracking job btw), wish we lived closer to help each other out. I too have the same childcare issues of not being able to go gym - have you tried any free at home ones? They're actually quite good. I do a mixture of insanity (not good if you're a beginner) or the bodycoach stuff (joe wickes) is free on you tube? Only takes 20 mins really too so you can get on with your day nicely.
I joined a gym, primarily because they offered 4hrs a day free childcare, but my little one hated it so never got around to going which annoyed me more as I hate waste!
Anyway keep your chin up, as my friend says, brighter days around the corner!! Still waiting for the rainbow mind......x

MeandO

Plymouthscubagirl! Yes, I remember you well hun! I do hope you're ok and life has improved vastly for you now. You need to fill me in and let me know how life's been for you these past few years!

It was a particlularly sh*t time for us both back then wasn't it.. Sometimes it feels like yesterday and at other times it feels like it wasn't my life but someone else's - it's really weird. Still upsets me when I think about it though, even though the ex and I are now divorced and have grown into very different people and I could never envisage going back, neither would he!

I don't know how much of the diary you've read, but I've moved house since we chatted last and now work part time. I bought a cheaper (yet bigger, which was the opposite of what I was attempting!) house, paid off a bit of the mortgage and now work part time to be able to do the school runs and stop paying childcare.
It's an older house and needed redecorating but I've done a big chunk of that now. I'd love to change the kitchen and do other things but have finally learnt to be patient and to save up for things I want rather than throwing it on a credit card/loan. It took me a while!

How's your boy doing these days? I can't believe our littlies are 7 already. :eek: Ah it would be so lovely if we lived closer. I remember us saying that back then too. It's not easy is it.

I did have the insanity DVDs when I was newly single and bought the ex out of the last house. I kept them up for a while and they did work. Maybe I should look at getting them again, although I have a smaller lounge now, despite having more 'house' so I'm not sure how practical it would be!

I can't tell you how much it's cheered me up hearing from you! Please do keep in touch hun. If I find that rainbow I'll send one your way xx

MeandO

The other half and I had to go out of our way to collect a parcel from a delivery depot (each) last night. Turned out they were some freebies we'd both applied for which made us laugh a bit considering the round-trip we'd made, but we made the most of the seaside location and spent a few lovely hours walking round, chatting to a friendly policeman about the area and enjoying the beach and scenery. OH bought us some fish and chips which we shared for our tea by the seaside.

I filled up with diesel a couple of days ago - the first time in five weeks - at a cost of £48odd. I'd budgeted £50 so the spare change has been shifted to the grocery budget.

I also ordered an Asda grocery delivery. Will not be using them again though as I had to phone them afterwards as they hadn't honoured several promotions and charged me for carrier bags despite not delivering the shopping in any. :mad: The foreign call centre didn't understand and has incorrectly refunded me too little, but I really can't be bothered to waste any more time dealing with them.
Lesson learnt, I will not be using their online service again. :mad:

Another evening with OH tonight as DS is with his Dad. OH has taken some fish out of the freezer and I have lots of lovely veg to cook for our tea. I might suggest we go for a swim if the local pool isn't too busy, or for a walk if it's not raining.

I'm glad it's Friday. I have no plans for the weekend but will just be overjoyed not to be in work. The horrible atmosphere and lack of morale continues to crush my spirit on a daily basis.

plymouthscubagirl

Hey

No sorry I've not read your whole diary yet. So you've moved - is it far away from ex, you were living quite close by before weren't you?

Yes I spent 2 years wasting my time umming and aahing as to whether I was doing the right thing leaving my ex, I think I had the same guilt, leaving my boy with no mummy and daddy together, but my little one doesn't even remember us ever being together now. Quite funny really. And its not affected him at all :-)
It was definitely the right choice to make too, he's no better now with his new gf!!

So new house sounds exciting! I've also moved into my house (long story but I bought it for my sister about 15 years ago so she's always lived in it, and was supposed to buy it back from me when she could. Fast forward 12 years and she split same time as me so it made sense for me to move in rather than pay stupid rent like I had been). It wouldn't have been my choice of a house to purchase for myself, but now I am in it I'm actually really enjoying it. Little ones school is 5mins away and my office is 5-10mins away so all very handy really. And I've been following your lead, decorating and doing it as much as I can myself. Its been quite satisfying (and frustrating at times)! Currently cladding the outhouse ceiling, last area to sort now thankfully.

I've done the opposite, gone back full time :eek: Only because I have a very flexible job. They actively encourage us to work from home so it fits in well with school run etc. I usually do 2 days at home, would get bored doing much more. I also made the decision as I think redundancies might be on the cards at some point, so a full time one would be nicer! 2 have just been made redundant last week, I kind of half hope sometimes but it is a very easy flexible job, so careful what you wish for I guess. It would clear my debt and pay off the mortgage though so silver linings, ha ha.
I too am doing YNAB, I love it too. Its really got me back on track debt wise. I'm hoping to be credit card debt free by March next year, its finally in sight. Managed to clear my student loan too.
I've been doing a mini female investing course too (following the Money Doctor), so I'm actually investing bits and bobs at the same time as paying debt off. Little one has a JISA and I've just set up a SIPP for him too, only £25 a month as I dont like the fact that the JISA will just pay out at 18 with no control. Hopefully at 55 he may be a bit more responsible! Feel quite grown up right now, only taken 43 years!

So good to hear from you, and yes I will stay in touch so we can rant about the injustice of life!!

Hey good news you're back in the dating game. I've not even been on 1 date, put off for life I think, ha ha xx

MeandO

I'm about 10 miles away from the ex now, but only a mile or two away from where I work (at the moment - as they announced we may be moving to the other side of the City. :mad:).
I also got DS into the local school which is literally a 1 minute walk for us from the new house. It was a tough decision to change his school, but he has settled in so well and loves his new school. It also means he doesn't spend every night in after school club and I'm not working just to pay the childcare and mortgage.
I've lost around £400 a month from my salary by going part time, but the lower mortgage, lower council tax (this has almost halved!:eek:) and raise in child tax credits has helped.
I've made some sacrifices in this house and lost my driveway, garage, off road parking and this is a semi detached whereas the last was a detached house, but we have a huge garden, loads more living space and are within walking distance to the local shops and OH's house so it's 'swings and roundabouts' really. I have gained vast knowledge on the problems of old houses though as this one's around 100 years old. :eek:

Glad to hear things are going well for you. Sounds like you've had a similar couple of years with the DIY! Definitely a good idea not to be paying rent too. Does your sister live with you? We'll have to swap DIY tips. It sounds like you're waaaay ahead of me in the decorating stakes. I still have loads left I'd like to do but it's all money-dependent and I don't have much of that spare unfortunately!

Your work arrangement sounds great too. I wish mine encouraged working from home, but it's not really feasible with my work.

Ooh, investing course sounds interesting, I may take a look at the Money Doctor. I confess to having no knowledge of things like that, I just can't get my head around them. I'd like to try in the future though, but for now I'm just concentrating on getting the mortgage down and the savings up!

xx

MeandO

I've not felt like updating lately as not much to report. No further overpayments, although I'm hoping to be able to reach this month's target next week when some more money will be coming in.

I transferred £50 out of the 'house projects' pot this past week to pay for some bits and pieces for the garden and house in Home Bargains. Not really what I wanted to spend the money on, but it's not needed for anything else until after next payday and I dodn't have the funds in the general 'spends' category. There's £50 left in the house pot too, so it's not too bad.

I stripped the wallpaper in the dining room at the weekend, thankfully it was only on one wall. The wall is in good condition so can just be painted over once I've bought some paint. I will buy enough to do the whole room as it all needs freshening up and could do with a lighter colour in there to let a bit more light bounce around.

OH cut the grass and cleared quite a lot of overgrown bushes for me in the garden last weekend. They belong to next door, but have really encroached on my garden and have damaged some of the outbuildings. There's some more to do from the other neighbours at the back. Annoying that people leave things to grow into other people's space, but easier just to deal with it myself. If half of it falls back into their garden though, there's not much I can do about it.

OH's Dad kindly gave me some plants for the garden too so I will plant those as soon as I have dug some old tree trunks and roots out of the beds. I also bought an alpine from a local garden centre I visted with OH and a couple of lavender plants from HB.

We went to the library at the weekend to try and get a dietary book on a health problem OH seems to have developed. Unfortunately their selection was outdated and very minimal, so I have ordered a book from Amazon. I have also bought DS a book he has wanted for a while, using the £6 survey vouchers towards both.

Dinner tonight is YS chicken breasts from the freezer, made into a curry of some sort. There should be plenty left over for at least OH and I to take for lunch tomorrow too. DS has swimming lessons, so will be something quick and easy from the freezer for him. Unfortunately he won't go near the chicken curry.

Had yet more bad news about my Mum last week too. She is so very poorly and in so much pain, I feel so helpless. Wish there was something I could do to take her pain from her. She is such a positive person though, I don't know how she carries on. We are going to stay with my parents for a few days in half term, but I think I might send her something little in the post to cheer her up in the meantime.

Honeysucklelou2

Sorry to read about your mum. It must be so hard for you being at a distance. Half term will be here soon...

Re the gym, is there any way of getting to the gym/pool when your DS is at his dad's? I'm in a similar position, to the point that last year I was putting the toddler in a pushchair and jogging with that but haven't done much over winter and not sure he'd be keen on that this year!

MeandO

Thanks HSL. Unfortunately, I either work late when DS is with his Dad so I can build some flexi time up at work; run around and do the grocery shopping so I don't have to take DS and quite often at the moment, tackle DIY projects. I also see OH as we don't get to spend much child-free time together due to both our circumstances.
I've decided to save my money and just try and work in more exercise into my day wherever possible. I'm also making a real effort to eat healthier and drink more water so I'm hoping that'll all help me feel better. It will just be a waste of money in joining a gym, I know it will just feel like another thing I have to try and squeeze in somehow.
It's not easy trying to balance everything is it!

plymouthscubagirl

Sorry to hear about your mum - my granddad is also in contact pain. I honestly cannot get my head around people being in pain in this day and age. My granddad has 15-20% kidney function so they're very limited on what they can give him. Makes my heart break, as like your mum, is so positive and never moans. He did say yesterday if I could just have 20mins with no pain :mad:

On a more positive note it sounds like you're doing great on the decorating. I started reading MMM (Mr Money Moustache) blog/app. About a chap in Canada, who now lives in Colarado who retired early to be able to take his son school etc and be around for him to do fun things. He really advocates doing as much decorating/gardening yourself, one to save cash and 2 for health benefits. Its really inspired me to have a go at lots now and changed my mindset. Before I loathed gardening, especially cutting the grass, now I see it as a way to move my body for free. I think its the daily things you can factor in that make a bigger dent rather than a half hour workout at the gym, which like you I find hard to fit in.

House sounds lovely btw - I love old houses. I can definitely see me purchasing an older house in a few years.

No my sister moved out when I moved in. Quite sad really but she is happy in an older rental house now - so much more for your money thats for sure! x