MeandO's mortgage-free musings

MeandO

Lol!!! Don't worry sellotape, I've done the same myself before - it's too close to the other buttons isn't it!

Wellies were purchased... after a stressful march around 3 shops and drive to a different out of town shopping area as none had DS's size plus I had OH's child, who wanted to tag along, running riot around every shop. It was a stressful experience. £11 later on wellies and £9ish in Asda on groceries (not that I got everything I needed as I just gave up), we finally went home. I didn't even bother looking for the £4 gift card I have, it was just too much hassle and I wanted to get out of there asap.

Once DS was in bed, I had a shower and then sat in my bed and read a book for two hours and chilled out a bit. I'm so rock n roll - in bed before 8pm! :rotfl:

MeandO

Is it Friday yet?
Saying that, I don't know why I'm waiting for the weekend, I have nothing planned and no doubt will be the same old 'waiting for Monday' scenario.

As my less than enthusiastic posts may suggest, I'm feeling really miserable at the moment. I've had a really 'down' week this week, for no particular reason, but (without wanting to sound overly dramatic) just because of life as it is really.

I find the whole 'life' shebang a really lonely affair. I think I'm chatty and friendly and people seem to like talking to me. I've really tried to form friendships with people over the years, but most people here are from this area and no-one seems interested in wanting a new friend. I don't have any friends here that I can call or meet with and I've lost touch with my few good friends in the area I'm from due to distance and their lives moving on so I literally have no-one I can even phone for a chat, other than my Mum and Dad or OH. My family are all over 3 hours away too and my Mum's health is so bad that they can't really come to visit these days. I don't hear from my siblings either who all stil llive near my parents.
My work colleagues are an odd bunch and no-one socialises with anyone else out of work.
I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me.

OH doesn't live far away, but has issues of his own to deal with and I can't ever see us being any more than we are now. He has made it clear he won't commit to anything more serious.

I don't know why this is all affecting me so much this week and causing so many tears, sometimes it just seems to hit me like a bus. I just thought life would be a lot different. It's such a struggle doing it all alone. and I feel like I'm running out of energy for it all. DS is literally the only reason I get up in the morning and I feel bad as I've been miserable, grumpy Mum this week and he is a ray of sunshine as usual.

I need to find some motivation to cheer myself up a bit.

It's certainly not coming from the finances, I haven't even been able to reach my £100 OP target yet and looks unlikely that I will.

spendinglikemad

MeandO - I sometimes feel exactly the same re friendship and I wondered whats wrong with me too, see people on TV with lots of friends and wonder what I am doing wrong!!!
My life revolves around my kids and hubby (and work) and we are soon to get a dog so I guess I don't have too much time for friends in real life - happy to come on here and be your virtual pal (PM me!!!!)

SLM

selloptape

Oh no! Sorry to hear you are feeling blue MeandO

It!!!8217;s so tough being a single parent sometimes. Have you joined any online parent groups? I used to be in a single parents support group on Facebook which was really chatty and they used to have social meets too. x

MrsSave

MeandO I found this diary recently and have been meaning to say hello (but I'm generally useless at stuff like that - in real life too!!). What you said today about friends/moving to a new area etc, really rang true with me. I have a few friends that I've kept in touch with since school, but we only meet once or twice a year. I have people I say hello to around here, but no close friends. I feel I've tried, but a lot of people where I live have a,ways lived around here, so friends' groups are set. They don't want an outsider, especially one like me who can get pretty nervous with new people and isn't one for lots of small talk!!

I tried baby groups when the boys (particularly the eldest) was small, but everyone knew everyone and it would be a bit of polite chat, and then home. I stopped going pretty quickly. I'm lucky I have my mum nearby, but otherwise I'm not a big one for socialising. I wish I had someone to pick up the phone to sometimes for a chat, or could meet for a random glass of wine.

I work with 2 women who are both lovely, but in their 50s with no children and totally different lives to me.

Sorry for the whine, I just want you to know you're not alone. I'm open to messages, but will admit there are days when I'm totally crap at responding (now I wonder why I feel lonely :rotfl: ).

MeandO

Thank you ALM, Sellotape and MrsSave, it saddens me to hear other people feel the same, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

MrsSave, you and I sound very similar - I don't have a lot of confidence with new people, but have forced myself to fake the confidence over the years. I've had the same issue with the baby groups too and, now, it's the same with the school Mums who all pretty much know each other and have their friendship groups. I just hope it doesn't rub off on DS too as we don't have friends here we get to socialise with out of school.

MeandO

Today I've switched one of the sub accounts on my mortgage as the current deal runs out in May and there's no early repayment charge f or switching it for three months beforehand.
It's the largest sub account I have and has now gone from 3.39% to 2.19% so will help a little. I think it will reduce my minimum mortgage payment by around £20 a month, but I will be keeping it to what it is presently and so will be overpaying an extra £20ish a month.

MeandO

My wonderful Mum sent me a lovely card yesterday (which made me cry when I opened it) and she had included £10, so I have paid that off the mortgage.

Under £11.56 to find to reach this month!!!8217;s target now.

MrsSave

MeandO wrote: »

Thank you ALM, Sellotape and MrsSave, it saddens me to hear other people feel the same, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.

MrsSave, you and I sound very similar - I don't have a lot of confidence with new people, but have forced myself to fake the confidence over the years. I've had the same issue with the baby groups too and, now, it's the same with the school Mums who all pretty much know each other and have their friendship groups. I just hope it doesn't rub off on DS too as we don't have friends here we get to socialise with out of school.

That's one of my worries, my downfalls rubbing off on my children. Particularly my eldest as he is very quiet around new people, but thankfully settles pretty quickly. I always try to make sure he answers people when they talk to him instead of talking for him, which my mother always did (and still can do) for me.

I agree, we do sound pretty similar. And the funny thing is, living so near (I think we do anyway), we've probably walked past each other when out and about at some point :rotfl:

Well done on almost reaching your mortgage overpayment target this month. I've started trying, would love to get the mortgage paid off sooner than 19 years!!

gallygirl

MrsSave wrote: »

I agree, we do sound pretty similar. And the funny thing is, living so near (I think we do anyway), we've probably walked past each other when out and about at some point :rotfl:

Why don't you arrange to go on a 'date' to a coffee shop if you think you live nearby? I've made very good friends in real life from MSE. Barking mad, but good friends nevertheless . It was lovely to be able to discuss plans, TillyTidies, extreme couponing etc. without people thinking we were crazy .