Mediation- anyone been through this?

Malthusian

Moogles44 wrote: »

And I believe that we do need solicitors as just one person going backwards and forwards to her and me won’t work as she just wants everything, can’t speak English still after over a decade of living here and I don’t think is very intelligent as even when I explained it could cost £100,000 in court costs didn’t want to talk about it even.

Look at it from her perspective (even if you have to hold your nose); if she gives you what you want, it costs her the house, which presumably is worth more than £100,000.

So I think that she needs legal people telling her she can’t do this and consequences if she doesn’t because what has been done to me is actually against the law, I’m not a disgruntled child who just fancied something and didn’t get it.

She didn't do this though (write you out of your father's Will), your father did. Her legal people will tell her whatever is in her best interests, i.e. whatever is likely to result in her getting the most amount of money and you the least. Just as your legal people will tell you whatever is in yours.

As I understand it, you've been living in your father's house (previously your parents' house) for 40 years, and your father had previously indicated that he would leave it to you in his Will, but in the event he left the house and everything else to his new wife. This sounds like a pretty good claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act - although I don't need to speculate as you have a solicitor who is in a far better position to say than me. However, I think you have to resign yourself to the fact that it will be expensive.

Moogles44

Comms69 wrote: »

This is how mediation works.


Person A: I want X, Y and Z
Person B: I want X and Y, but will swap Z for Q
Person A: That's fine, so we just talk about X and Y
Person B: I want X more than Y
Person B: I want Y more than X
Solved.

That was helpful although you are incorrect as you cannot make promises and make people change their lives through persuasion , verbal agreements as to what will happen if they do what you want and that be to their detriment if they acted upon those promises and then say I’ve changed my mind years later . It’s called proprietary estoppel , I know it very well now and independent barrister says I have a high chance of winning as I have a lot of proof of being in this exact situation.

Moogles44

elsien wrote: »

I'm going to highlight this question again, because boxes of evidence and solicitors/barristers does sound more like arbitration than mediation.

Solicitors are calling it mediation?

Moogles44

Malthusian wrote: »

Look at it from her perspective (even if you have to hold your nose); if she gives you what you want, it costs her the house, which presumably is worth more than £100,000.

It’s never costed her a penny , my mother bought that house and wanted to leave it to me and my father promised this would happen and has done for years. She inherited 3 houses and never paid a penny towards any of them ! I live in my house and have done for over 40 years with the promise of it being mine. If I hadn’t I would have bought a house elsewhere for mine and my family, not wasted so much time on the house that I’m living in. It costs her nothing, it will cost us being homeless and the loss of years of renovations and repairing our promised home.

She didn't do this though (write you out of your father's Will), your father did. Her legal people will tell her whatever is in her best interests, i.e. whatever is likely to result in her getting the most amount of money and you the least. Just as your legal people will tell you whatever is in yours.

I actually think he lost it a bit at the end and was manipulated but apparently that’s impossible to prove. She will have the most amount of money and I’m happy with that, I want nothing but what I was promised . So I hope this bit you said is how it goes

As I understand it, you've been living in your father's house (previously your parents' house) for 40 years, and your father had previously indicated that he would leave it to you in his Will, but in the event he left the house and everything else to his new wife. This sounds like a pretty good claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act - although I don't need to speculate as you have a solicitor who is in a far better position to say than me. However, I think you have to resign yourself to the fact that it will be expensive.

Yes this is true although there are two acts that are for people in my circumstances. I am £50,000 nearly down already with legal expenses so I’m aware of that especially if this mediation doesn’t work.

Sorry if I sound ratty, it’s with the situation , not anyone on here. I hate this situation, so stressful.

Primrose

[QUOTE=Moogles44;73390653

I tried sorting it in person from day one but stepmother wouldn’t even discuss it , even though admitted by accident that she knew of the lifelong promise to me.

You cannot by law promise someone something and actively get them to change their life plans for that thing and let them sink tens of thousands of pounds into it and all their time and money and then at the last minute say , sorry I’ve changed my mind now so this is what we need her to recognise.

Honestly , I wish I was dealing with anyone else but her but I do agree with solicitors on this one that we do need solicitors.[/QUOTE

I think the answer to your issue is that unfortunately whilst it may be very immoral to let somebody sink tens of thousands of pounds into changing their life plans on the grounds of a long term promise and then change their mind at the last moment, it,s not ILLEGAL and this is the case against which you will be fighting.

Before you send a lot of money on mediation/arbitration, have you done any research into any similar previous cases to find out what the outcomes were?

Mojisola

Moogles - were you paying rent for your house?

Moogles44

Primrose wrote: »

[QUOTE=Moogles44;73390653

I tried sorting it in person from day one but stepmother wouldn’t even discuss it , even though admitted by accident that she knew of the lifelong promise to me.

You cannot by law promise someone something and actively get them to change their life plans for that thing and let them sink tens of thousands of pounds into it and all their time and money and then at the last minute say , sorry I’ve changed my mind now so this is what we need her to recognise.

Honestly , I wish I was dealing with anyone else but her but I do agree with solicitors on this one that we do need solicitors.[/QUOTE

I think the answer to your issue is that unfortunately whilst it may be very immoral to let somebody sink tens of thousands of pounds into changing their life plans on the grounds of a long term promise and then change their mind at the last moment, it,s not ILLEGAL and this is the case against which you will be fighting.

Before you send a lot of money on mediation/arbitration, have you done any research into any similar previous cases to find out what the outcomes were?

I’m fighting with this “Proprietary estoppel is a legal claim, especially connected to English land law, which may arise in relation to rights to use the property of the owner, and may even be effective in connection with disputed transfers of ownership. Proprietary estoppel transfers rights if,

someone is given a clear assurance that they will acquire a right over property,
they reasonably rely on the assurance, and,
they act substantially to their detriment on the strength of the assurance
it would be unconscionable to go back on the assurance
If these elements of assurance, reliance and detriment, and unconscionability are present, the usual remedy will be that the property will be transferred to the claimant, if the court views the reliance to warrant a claim in all the circumstances.”

I’ve researched it and been advised and I have a good case. I’ve found many similar where they won the whole house or farm but no case is identical unfortunately. I personally think it depends partially on the judge at the end of the day but I really hope mediation will work .

Moogles44

Mojisola wrote: »

Moogles - were you paying rent for your house?

I hate to be awkward but leaving that info out as if I didn’t pay rent then I’ve had free board for over 40 years so I should count myself lucky and clear off just accepting that .

..and if i did pay rent then some may say , Well you were just a tenant so go rent somewhere else.

It’s a no win answer and best left out at the moment .

Moogles44

This is very similar to my situation - proprietary estoppel and they won
https://www.lawskills.co.uk/articles/2013/04/proprietary-estoppel-bradbury-v-taylor/

Others proprietary estoppel won cases are

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yaxley_v_Gotts

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gillett_v_Holt

https://webstroke.co.uk/law/cases/thorner-v-major-2009

And many more.

Mojisola

Moogles44 wrote: »

I hate to be awkward but leaving that info out as if I didn’t pay rent then I’ve had free board for over 40 years so I should count myself lucky and clear off just accepting that .

..and if i did pay rent then some may say , Well you were just a tenant so go rent somewhere else.

It’s a no win answer and best left out at the moment .

If you didn't pay rent, you were being financially supported by your father and that could give you a claim on his estate.