Please help, executors & step parents

goingcrazy101

Hoping someone can let me know my rights as going round in circles online and solicitors fees out my budget.

Dad passed away unexpectedly 9 months ago, his wife has said that she is legally not allowed to show us the will and is going round telling different people different reasons as to why she (the executor) has not applied for probate.
She has started selling his stuff, big things, but nothing that would be legally registered in his name, and going on numerous holidays.
She has made the grieving process very difficult for us due to this and we just want closure and to be able to deal with it. We have never seen eye to eye even prior to this mess I have asked her numerous times what is going on and never got a straight answer.

Where do I stand on seeing the will and can I speak to anyone re my concerned with her spending and selling habits prior to probate.

Margot123

Sorry for your loss, and the added stress you are suffering.

Firstly, if you haven't seen the will, how do you know that one exists? Without you seeing it, your Dad may have passed away intestate. Maybe his wife is taking her entitlement now rather than go through the court process (it happens, often).
You say his wife is selling 'big things', but how do you know they aren't in her name (or having passed into her sole name after being in joint names)? She may be going on holidays to cope with her grief, or spending her own money.
People have odd ways of coping with grief, and do things that may appear underhand to others especially when the relationship has been fraught prior to the passing of your Dad.

Keep_pedalling

What she says is wrong, there is nothing to stop her showing the will to anyone, but legally she also does not have to show the will to relatives or beneficiaries.

goingcrazy101

Thanks for your reply, I am not sure that there is one, she has said there is so holding on to a small amount of human decency that she is not lying to us any more. She has said that hopefully probate will be granted by Christmas, but this has been going on for months so want to have a plan of action if this does not happen as I feel slightly like a sitting duck and she could be doing something that has a time limit preventing us from appealing after a certain time.

I know they are not in her name as they belonged my grandad, I hope she is spending her own money but as she hasn't had a job in at least 5 years and lives in dads house I am dubious, but happy to be proven wrong.

I just want to find a way we can all move on and get this finished as I don't trust her as far as I could throw her.

Margot123

Perhaps a daft question for me to ask: You refer to this person as your Dad's 'wife'. Were they legally married? It makes a big difference if they weren't.
Many people refer to each other as 'husband' and 'wife' but they never formalise it.

newjersey

I'm very sorry for your loss of your father. I'm no expert on these matters, infact it's all quite new to me but I am a fast reader & lately I've been reading a lot, a very depressing area of law it is and I'm quite dismayed at humans behaviour at times of death.
Your step mother appears to be acting very vague towards you, why I have no idea but that's what is obviously troubling you. Your concern about time limits is correct as there are some. I think the first thing to do is apply for a caveat with the probate registry against his property which will slow down/stop probate being granted. This will give you breathing space to look at what is happening. Unfortunately because of time already passed she may well have already got this. Any claims made by a child (which includes adult children) under The Inheritance Act have to be lodged within 6 months of probate being granted.
As I said, I'm new to this so will happily be corrected if I'm wrong. I don't think it costs much to put in a caveat you can do that yourself. And of course if it hopefully turns out that everything is all aboveboard you can remove the caveat. Dealing with the loss of someone close is hard enough without any added worries, as his child she should be more straightforward with you but as I have discovered when it comes to death people can behave in very bizarre ways. Good luck.

goingcrazy101

Unfortunately yes they did get married.
I have been checking the probate search website as I will be able to pay for a copy of the will when that has been applied for, I know about the 6 month rule to appeal following probate so determined that she won't be able to do that without me knowing, just thought there maybe something I could do before she applies for it.

I am not sure what it is that makes me worried, but she gives me a little sick feeling at the pit of my stomach, ever since I met her, she is just too sickly sweet, sarcastic and narcissistic and she is enjoying lording this over us while living in my grandparents house with her kids completely ostracising and attempting to cut us out of what is left of dads memory.

Keep_pedalling

A bit late now but your father really should not have made her his sole executor.

eddyinfreehold

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

A bit late now but your father really should not have made her his sole executor.

...he might not have done occurs to me

goingcrazy101

eddyinfreehold wrote: »

...he might not have done occurs to me

This is what I am so confused about, how can we know what she is doing is what he wanted unless we go to court because there is no way for us to prove anything either way.

We wanted to see the will to check he wanted to be cremated (according to her, he did) because we thought that he would want to be buried as small family village church, but she was adamant it didn't say anything re funeral arrangements are we were not in a fit state to question it too much, but I regret not questioning it more now.

Yorkshireman99

goingcrazy101 wrote: »

This is what I am so confused about, how can we know what she is doing is what he wanted unless we go to court because there is no way for us to prove anything either way.

We wanted to see the will to check he wanted to be cremated (according to her, he did) because we thought that he would want to be buried as small family village church, but she was adamant it didn't say anything re funeral arrangements are we were not in a fit state to question it too much, but I regret not questioning it more now.

She is being, at the very least, unhelpful. There is no legal reason why she should not cooperate but it does raise suspicions. However, she will also be grieving and this often makes people behave irrationally. Perhaps a polite letter, not email, suggesting she needs to get probate underway and that she must not delay might work. At the very least if there is a problem she cannot deny she was told. Send by signed for delivery.