Difficulties in new role

sadkipper

In June I started what looked to be my dream job with the market leader in my quite specialist industry. I am 57 and expected this to be my last move. I am now 3/4 of the way through my probation which ends on the 12th December and so far have had no issues. My mid probation report was signed off as no areas for improvement.


However, I am now seriously considering if this is the right job for me. I have to work very closely with another woman, we have different jobs but need to work together on a very significant number of projects so have to have daily contact. Shortly after I joined we were asked to do a joint presentation on our area and she made it clear she did not want my input, she refused to accept meeting invites and claimed to be too busy to talk to me. She gave the presentation with no reference to me at all which looked very odd as it was expected to be a joint session. Since then she has started to subtly undermine me including very petty putdowns in front of customers. If I invite her to meetings she never accepts the invite so I have no idea if she will attend, she has sometimes attended web based meetings but not said she is there (you can see this on the software). I have a number of emails where I have politely asked for information I need and I have received very curt answers saying no she will not provide it. I also have evidence that she cuts me out of email chains leaving me unaware of things that I need to do my job and making me look stupid in front of the customer.


She is hyper critical of most people, it seems in her opinion no one does their job properly so I assume she is saying the same about me. A couple of weeks ago I asked her a question and she told me that she would not help me as I was not able to do my job. Bearing in mind this is a new organisation for me its not unreasonable that i have to ask questions.


Feedback from other team members on my work is very positive and the customer feedback is also good. The view from a couple of them I have spoken to is that she feels threatened by me and it does seem that this could be the cause.


I am now a nervous wreck at work as I am worried that she may influence my probation.


I am a bit worried about speaking to my boss as again I wonder if I would be seen as an issue complaining about a long standing staff member. I have a list of 9 or 10 incidents now as I decided to document them. They range from trivial to serious and I was quite shocked when I realised how much they were affecting my day to day work.


So, I seem to have 3 options:


1. Speak to my boss and raise this with him
2. Look for another job in the organisation, there is one possiblity but I am not sure how I could move without raising this issue.
3. Leave - this would be a big problem as I depend on my income.


Of course the other option is to speak to her but we seem to have gone beyond that point. In the last week or so she has completely stopped speaking to me and she attends all joint meetings by phone rather than coming to the meeting room.


I would welcome any thoughts as clearly this cannot continue. I was told yesterday that my boss is aware of what was described as "friction" but I really don't want him to think that I am the cause of this.

sangie595

I can't see you have an option. 3 isn't something you can afraid to do, and both others require you to talk to your boss. I think you've explained it and the effects it has had well. So say that to them!

TELLIT01

You need to speak to your boss about it. The problem obviously isn't going to go away, and the longer it does go on the worse you are going to feel.

ohreally

What’s the dynamic like between your boss and colleague?

bugslet

From what you've posted and the way you have come acros in your post, you seem like a decent person and employee.

If the other person is known to be difficult, I think speaking with your boss, whilst keeping things as civil as possible in your comments about your colleague, is the only option.

If your boss has half a brain, they'll know that this person is spiky and understand your concerns.

TBagpuss

I agree. Speak to your boss. Frame it as asking for support in improving communication with this person, and asking for guidance - e.g. "I've had trouble getting responses from Jane - several times I've asked her for infoarmtion and she has refused to provide it. Is there someone else I ought to be asking for this kind of thing ?"
or "I've noticed that I've been left out of a number a e-mail chains, resulting in my not being in the loop about actions I need to be taking. I have, for instance (give specific example you can back up with copy e-mails) - would it be possible for you to speak to Jane to clarify with her that I need to be kept in the loop?"

This sort of approach lets your manager know what is going on, and lets them deal with it either as a disciplinary issue or, if they don't want to do that, means you haven't burnt any bridges and you can work with her in future, if they chose to treat it as her having 'misunderstood' your role.

sadkipper

Thank you, have decided to speak to my boss tomorrow and take the tack of what can I do to improve this situation. I will use the examples I have documented as this takes some of the emotion out. I think my boss knows she is difficult (she works for one of his peers not him) and I think he noticed when she cut me out of an email chain the other day as he added me back in.

The concern I have is that they may think it easier to let me go than deal with what could be a challenging issue to resolve. On the positive side I work in a very specialist field and there are not many people around who they could recruit, they waited 3 months for me to start so I hope they will not be keen to let me go.

The next few days should be easier as she is on leave so I will be less stressed and anxious when discussing this with my boss.

sadkipper

So, I spoke to my boss today abc showed him my notes/evidence. He was very understanding and helpful. I go the impression he knew there was an issue but wanted to wait until I asked for help. Anyway he is going to speak to her boss so fingers crossed we can get this resolved.

bugslet

sadkipper wrote: »

So, I spoke to my boss today abc showed him my notes/evidence. He was very understanding and helpful. I go the impression he knew there was an issue but wanted to wait until I asked for help. Anyway he is going to speak to her boss so fingers crossed we can get this resolved.

Fortunately everyone is bobbing along here at work happily, but I've had a broadly similar issue at work before. As the boss, it's sometimes difficult to deal with a nebulous situation until someone asks you to. You may have done your boss a favour.

Mupette

Sometimes bosses bury their heads in the sand and hope the 'problem' goes away.

For me my bully gave me a mental breakdown, i was diagnosed with anxiety, i was stressed, it almost cost me my marriage as i was always so stressed and angry at home, my work suffered.

Now the 'problem' was so bad with others that they were pushed out of the department, i still see them most days, but as they can't even look me in they eye.

Telling the boss, who obviously is aware there is a problem was the right thing to do.

takman

sadkipper wrote: »

So, I spoke to my boss today abc showed him my notes/evidence. He was very understanding and helpful. I go the impression he knew there was an issue but wanted to wait until I asked for help. Anyway he is going to speak to her boss so fingers crossed we can get this resolved.

Sounds like a good outcome and it's good that you have keep notes and evidence of what was happening.

There is no excuse for her behavior and she is damaging the business by hindering you in your job. No reasonable person would ever side with her and say your in the wrong when you have emails showing she has refused to give you information.