Newly Separated

georgina17

Sorry that you're going through a difficult time.

- Check you haven't got life assurance through work. This amount seems high, although I've always had mine through work so perhaps don't know what I'm on about.

- Switch the £90 on tv for a Roku box and a cheap wifi connection. Consider how often you use your landline (unless you are v rural with bad signal etc).

- Understand you are feeling unsure about a lodger, but if you live near any kind of university you could consider advertising for a postgraduate/phd student? Maybe even just a female post grad! Interviewing a few people doesn't mean you have to offer them the room if you don't end up wanting to!

- An aside, depending on the circumstances of your separation (and not that I'm asking at all), you may want to change your will to ensure guardianship of your child is clear - something my Mum did.

Good luck, you'll get through it.

Gladioli

Please do contact your union, if you have been a member for a long time you may be able to access their hardship fund that they hold for situations just like this. It may just help keep you on an even keel. You have paid in so it may be now time to see if you can get a little out, what is the worst that they can say?

Breo

georgina17 wrote: »

Sorry that you're going through a difficult time.
- An aside, depending on the circumstances of your separation (and not that I'm asking at all), you may want to change your will to ensure guardianship of your child is clear - something my Mum did.

Thanks - this is something I'm thinking about but no idea yet what it entails. If anything does happen to me then she would not be allowed to live with her father, but I wouldn't want her to end up in care. So I need to make sure my parents are already named somehow as the ones to have her. Another to speak to a solicitor about once I can afford it!

DawnW

Breo wrote: »

Thanks - this is something I'm thinking about but no idea yet what it entails. If anything does happen to me then she would not be allowed to live with her father, but I wouldn't want her to end up in care. So I need to make sure my parents are already named somehow as the ones to have her. Another to speak to a solicitor about once I can afford it!

I am sure your parents would want to help with this Breo xx

Breo

DawnW wrote: »

I am sure your parents would want to help with this Breo xx

They have already said they will - and whilst there would be no other options I guess there is some paperwork I need to get done. Although I have zero idea how to choose a solicitor. I don't want to go for the cheapest in case they are not good but I also don't want to rack up a huge bill.

Im not ready to go down the divorce route, but I do need to get all my finances separated out to try and protect as much of our assets as I can.

Haylescom

Glad to see you've already made some savings! Just a few points to add:

If you're not willing to give up the tv subscriptions completely, definitely phone your SP. When I went through a separation I told Sky of my situation, that I wanted to cancel. I took off the HD channels, then they gave me free broadband for 6 months and half price sports. A Now TV box is worth a look too, it means you could have the odd movie day but only pay for that one, rather than a monthly cost.

Make sure you're giving regular reading to your energy companies so you don't get over-priced estimated bills. We're in a well-insulated new build and total for gas and electric is £51pm. This more than covers our winter increase and we end up getting a couple of hundred back every August. Seriously think about that water meter too; as you can revert back you have nothing to lose!

Is your life insurance just for you or does it have your partner on it? I hadn't even thought about that until my broker called me and as we went through it realised it was a joint policy and completely pointless! I have a joint policy with my partner now which is £85pm for us both, this includes mine being toploaded as I have a pre existing medical condition.

You're doing well, keep going!

SunnyVic

Hi Breo, not got much to add but I would check if your union covers legal advice? I know someone who works for the police who got legal help with a child contact case through their union.

My OH went through a nasty divorce. Started out with a solicitor but ended up going it alone with occasional help from a professional McKenzie friend and used a direct access barrister for a final hearing over child residency. He won both the financial and residency case (pretty much unheard of for a father to win residency) and saved thousands in legal fees doing it this way. DEFINITELY not for the feint hearted but can be done if you are prepared to put in lots of work.

Good luck with it all, I've read your thread and you've done so well already x

Lucky_Duck_2

Is the going rate for life assurance more than £50 per month?

anna_1977

Hi Breo,
Find a solicitor with a free 30 minute consulation, that should be long enough for you to decide whether you like them, if not find another and so on.
Definitely tell your will ASAP, name your parents as guardians and trustees (along with someone one) for your assets should anything happen.
I was the owner of everything when I split from my husband nearly 7 years ago. i did have to pay him off, we had 2 kids who were 13 & 15 at the time. The house was mine and valued at £300k. I gave him a one off payment of £40k in the financial order and that cut all ties to each other. We both worked but he was the bread winner, I was v lucky to get away with a small amount i think.

Good luck and keep going

x

Mojisola

Breo wrote: »

Im not ready to go down the divorce route, but I do need to get all my finances separated out to try and protect as much of our assets as I can.

anna_1977 wrote: »

I was the owner of everything when I split from my husband nearly 7 years ago. i did have to pay him off, we had 2 kids who were 13 & 15 at the time. The house was mine and valued at £300k. I gave him a one off payment of £40k in the financial order and that cut all ties to each other.

Don't leave the divorce for too long. While you are still married, all the assets are counted in the financial settlement.

It would be galling to get back into a healthy financial position only to find that you have to pay him a lump sum when you do divorce just because of all your hard work with the money.