Feeling utterly overwhelmed and not sure where to go for advice

Mojisola

faerielight wrote: »

I feel so awfully selfish and scared I will lose the friendship

This isn't a friendship!

If you stop being used by the person, there will be space in your life to find some true friends.

Owain_Moneysaver

This site is aimed at people in Scotland (so the actual house buying process is different, and they won't be able to give you any personal help) but you may find their factsheets etc useful.

Housing Options Scotland

elsien

With regards to your friend, however sorry/responsible you might feel for her, if you share a house and it doesn't work out (which given that it didn't before seems to be a fairly likely outcome) I think you will find it incredibly difficult if not impossible to tell her you don't want her there any more.
For what it's worth, my personal opinion is that is a situation like that is better off avoided right from the start. Just think how stressful it would be being a landlady to someone who makes you feel guilty all the time. Not going to do your MH any good at all, especially if you start to need more help and become more vulnerable. Guilt isn't a good enough reason to put yourself through that.
Better the short term pain of telling her now, than having months or years of trying to pluck up courage once she's in residence. There are times when it is not selfish to look out for yourself. This is one of them.

McKneff

Excuse me for popping up but i just wanted to wish you the very best of luck for your future.

Embrace this new adventure inyour life with gusto (whatever gusto means but it sounded appropriate)

Best wishes
ANNIE

faerielight

aww thank you all so much sorry about my mental health reactions, it's so overwhelming with my PD. I just wish my friend had the basics of security, it doesn't feel fair. or just. I never expected any inheritance, but it's coming and it will bring me the security I've never had, I can't comprehend how that will feel to feel financially safe, just be ill without threat of eviction. and be able to wash! I just wish I didn't feel so guilty, and undeserving, and I wish I could make the world a more equal place for everyone.

I just need to break it down into manageable and understandable chunks, what I need to do, and try not to let my mental health take over.

SevenOfNine

Faerielight, life isn't fair..........that's life!

You will have the basics of security & must do what is right for you. Don't make any decisions about including anyone else in anything until you have taken care of YOU first.

Don't discuss the inheritance further with friends, make no promises & shoot down any expectations any others voice regarding what THEY want from you. Do it kindly but firmly.

I'm glad you recognise the need to deal with this in bite sized pieces, start with where you'll put this money temporarily in the first instance.

You are used to living frugally therefore don't be tempted to flash the cash & don't give any to anyone else (none) - unless you want a queue forming at your door.

There is no rush, secure the cash somewhere, check with your bank to see how long such a large sum can remain there before it won't be entirely safeguarded by FSCS regulations.

Don't make decisions in haste which you may deeply regret & take forever to reverse. You've been given a massive gift which can use to secure your future. YOURS, no-one else's!

Good luck.

faerielight

thank you seven of nine.. I will try and focus on what I need, as I've never had any, I had no idea have divisive money can be. What is FSCH regulations?
Thanks Elsein, you are so right, it's better to put a stop to living with my friend now than be trapped and squashed in my own home . Thanks Mckeeff for the well wishing.

Owain_Moneysaver

FSCS protects your money if the bank or building society goes bust. The limit is £85,000 but there is a six-month extension up to £1m after an inheritance.
https://protected.fscs.org.uk/banking/how-is-your-money-fscs-protected/

So to fully benefit from FSCS you will need to split your inheritance across several different banks (note that some banks share a banking licence, such as Bank of Scotland, Halifax and AA) with less than £85k in each one.

Linton

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

FSCS protects your money if the bank or building society goes bust. The limit is £85,000 but there is a six-month extension up to £1m after an inheritance.
https://protected.fscs.org.uk/banking/how-is-your-money-fscs-protected/

So to fully benefit from FSCS you will need to split your inheritance across several different banks (note that some banks share a banking licence, such as Bank of Scotland, Halifax and AA) with less than £85k in each one.

Easier to put your money in National Savings,NS&I, which will give you more interest than your bank (probably) and is fully guaranteed to any amount by the Government.

SevenOfNine

...........it's more a question of where faerielight can pop this money in the very short term, so she does not feel overwhelmed by it or by information overload.

If she already has a bank account she is familiar with operating or visiting personally, then as long as this large sum is protected temporarily I wouldn't be fussed about losing out on interest for a short while.

faerielight has indicated she is vulnerable & somewhat daunted by this, best not to add too much confusion or too much that's 'new' in as well.