Paying off someone else's debt... backfired, where do I stand?

PaulL_2

Hi All,

New to the forum, so i'd like to say hello and ask for your advice relating to my situation which i'm slowly resolving.

I was in a relationship and we were due to be married in August this year (had the wedding planned etc.) and as we were going to be married, I was under the impression that debt would become both of our problem anyways, so I was persuaded to pay off some debt that she had with a collection agency (it was approx £1500) and they'd been chasing her for years. I figured that as we were going to be together forever, this would eventually become my problem anyways so i'd be better off dealing with it as I'm the kind of bloke who likes to keep everything in order and keep my books balanced and I pride myself on that.

Shortly afterwards (a couple days!), she ran off with a bloke from her work... leaving me high and dry with lots to pay for (including her phone contract and the wedding that wasn't going to happen!) I picked her up one evening from work and she informed me that she was moving in with her colleague... So my life got turned upside down, I also got a puncture on the way home and my lock collapsed on my front door! it was not a good day!

So now i'm on the up, i've turned my life around and i'm paying off credit cards (nearly done - yay!) The house is looking better than ever and i've got a gorgeous new girlfriend - happy days!

However, I was wondering where I stand with this money that I paid, I was basically conned out of... it wasn't my debt and I was wondering if anyone had been in a similar situation and perhaps went through small claims court to recover it?

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me and I'm sorry for such a long winded post!
- P

POPPYOSCAR

What evidence do you have that the money was a loan?

If you just paid it off she will say it was a gift and there is nothing you can do to force her to pay it.

ratrace

You could also see it as a blessing, imagen if you did end up marrying her and then she ran off you would have paid out a lot more than £1500 ie wedding expenses honymoon etc.... sorry dont really have a solution for you but glad you are on the up and are happy

StopIt

At the time, unless if you specifically (And backed up in writing) said you expected this money back, legally speaking it was a gift.


For the hassle trying to prove otherwise to a court, and the fact that this person is still in debt and likely hasn't got the means to pay means you'll likely have to chalk this one up to experience.

PeacefulWaters

Let it go.

Horrible woman.

lynz68

Your life has turned around put it down to lesson learnt, never pay anyone else's debt or lend money with the expectation of getting it back. Plenty of stories on here about lending money to family and friends that didn't end well.


Without acknowledgement from your ex that it was a loan the chances of getting your money back are slim. You could end up spending even more money and still get nothing.

You will get more satisfaction out of her seeing that you have moved on and are happier than ever.

TrustyOven

If you sent a text "I thought you would pay me back this loan xyz but I guess I will have to chalk it up to experience to never lend money to my ex/girlfriend" and then if she replies but doesnt deny it, can that be taken as evidence that she acknowledges it was a loan?

PaulL_2

Thanks for the advice so far.

PaulL_2

She actually said she was going to pay me back (have messages stating this) but she's refusing to pay now obviously as she's done a runner :rotfl:

worried_jim

Bob hope and no hope.

fwor

I'm with the others that reckon you had a lucky escape, and that losing £1500 is a price worth paying. And, as has already been said, even if you win in court, getting money out of someone with other debts is never going to be easy.

But... if the phone contract is still "live" I would definitely be going out of my way to cancel that! I may be wrong, but I suspect that you can't transfer a phone number out of a phone contract that has been canceled...