Restaurants. Must I pay for a miserable experience?

Sicard

A screaming child is indicative of bad parenting. None of my three ever screamed. Okay they navigated through the terrible twos but good parenting skills and distractions prevailed. There's not much you can do except shout 'shut up'. You should experience bad parenting with a brat on a ten-hour long haul.

SouthUKMan

Two thoughts. Thought one, you need to have a reasonable expectation of what the dining experience will be. You can't go into your local Harvester and expect no screaming children. Likewise if you were at The Ivy, you would expect other diners and the management to respect and protect the dining environment. Any restaurant in between these two examples, then you have a quiet word with the manager there and then in the expectation that they will assess your complaint based on the evidence, and if appropriate offer you recompense - such as a small discount, the offer to return another time with 15 percent off the bill, complimentary coffees, etc. The point is that you deal with the situation there and then.

Thought two, in my opinion it is simply churlish and quite frankly mean spirited to send a letter to a restaurant after such an experience. The moment has gone - the management can't assess how bad the situation is and they certainly haven't had a reasonable opportunity to redress your complaint. In which case, just drop it. Move on. Life is too short.

steampowered

Sicard wrote: »

A screaming child is indicative of bad parenting. None of my three ever screamed.

It must be nice to have such easy kids. It is simply not true that a badly behaved child is indicative of bad parent.

Different kids can behave very differently, for any number of reasons. For example particularly intelligent kids tend to be extremely badly behaved when they are young.

This does not necessarily reflect on the parenting. While parenting has an impact the reality is that the behaviour of children is more a function of biology than parenting. I was an absolute nightmare whereas my siblings were well behaved.

steampowered

Reading this thread, I wonder why our eating out culture can't be a bit more like Spain or Italy.

When you go out to restaurants in those countries, I've found that kids are consistently welcomed. People are generally patient and tolerant.

You don't have old farts sitting in the back tutting at the slightest hint of noise!

Mojisola

steampowered wrote: »

It must be nice to have such easy kids. It is simply not true that a badly behaved child is indicative of bad parent.

Different kids can behave very differently, for any number of reasons. For example particularly intelligent kids tend to be extremely badly behaved when they are young.

This does not necessarily reflect on the parenting. While parenting has an impact the reality is that the behaviour of children is more a function of biology than parenting. I was an absolute nightmare whereas my siblings were well behaved.

But ignoring your child while it is running riot around a restaurant is bad parenting.

If any of ours hadn't been able to sit still at the table, one of us would have taken him/her outside until they had settled down.

Gavin83

steampowered wrote: »

Different kids can behave very differently, for any number of reasons. For example particularly intelligent kids tend to be extremely badly behaved when they are young.

:rotfl: Of course they are.

I'm willing to bet out of the badly behaved kids the number of those with a behaviour affecting disability is quite small compared to those who have just been badly parented.

Anyway seeing as the OP is unwilling to answer questions and is unlikely to come back I'll leave too.

societys_child

It's easy, just leave 'em sat in yer car with a packet of crisps and a bottle of cheap orange. Didn't everyone do this when kids weren't allowed in pubs . . . . :whistle:

steampowered

Gavin83 wrote: »

:rotfl: Of course they are.

I'm willing to bet out of the badly behaved kids the number of those with a behaviour affecting disability is quite small compared to those who have just been badly parented.

Yes, it is very true. Bright children tend to be badly behaved. They tend to run around more, be more argumentative and more 'into things' because they are interested in the world around them. Less intelligent kids are more willing to sit still.

There's plenty of research to back this up, and plenty of real world parenting experience if you simply do a google search.

While I agree that conditions such as ADHD will result in bad behaviour, kids can behave badly without having any disability and despite good parenting.

I'm not convinced that parenting has a lot of impact on how kids conduct themselves. I've seen plenty of appalling parents with well behaved children, and vice versa.

NeilCr

steampowered wrote: »

Reading this thread, I wonder why our eating out culture can't be a bit more like Spain or Italy.

When you go out to restaurants in those countries, I've found that kids are consistently welcomed. People are generally patient and tolerant.

You don't have old farts sitting in the back tutting at the slightest hint of noise!

Yes.

Because in my experience kids in restaurants in Italy (can’t speak for Spain) are well behaved. And, again, I think the point stuartJo1979 raised re pubs v restaurants is well made.

Nice to be called an old fart. My partner has twelve grandchildren of varying ages so I do have some knowledge of this. The younger ones get taken to family friendly places where they can be boisterous and playful at the table. But there is no question of them being allowed to interfere with the enjoyment of other diners

Do I tut tut at the noise kids make in places like this - nope. Do I get peed off in a restaurant when kids come up to and around our table and start messing around. Yep. Especially when the selfish parents either a) ignore it or b) think it’s funny. “Look at Little Johnny making faces at that man over there”

As was said earlier some parents in this thread don’t seem to accept that there is a middle ground

sheramber

Rather than the cost of a meal I find what is on the menu determines whether children will be there or not.

if there are no child friendly dishes on the menu then parents aren't going to bring their children there.

So pick your restaurant according to the menu.