O/S Daily Sunday 8th October 2017

Hollyharvey

Thank you everyone who has given advice on my predicament with my nephew and sister in law.

As an update, my brother has just left. He turned up unexpectedly a couple of hours ago when my sister in law told him that she was getting the train up to see my nephew on Friday and would be back late Monday. Until this morning he didn't know anything about it.

He said that she had booked it all on Friday and told him today. He is really annoyed and is of the opinion that they should leave my nephew to get on with it and give him the space to adjust to a new way of life and make friends with the people that he is meeting without interference from them. He said that he has made sure that my nephew knows that if there are any real problems that he needs urgent help with that he would drop everything and drive up there, and that both him and his mum are on the end of the phone 24/7 if he needs them.

I think that my brother and sister in law are in for a bit of a rough patch, and if there are problems my niece may even move out.

I'm sad for all of them, including my sister in law because I think she is struggling, and obviously I love them all dearly.

But I have told my brother, that I'm not prepared to get involved or pass comment on anything to any of them but will as always be here for all of them if they need someone to listen. Thankfully he understands this.

elona

DDs and sil took me to York this morning and we had lunch with remaining dd there. Had a nice catch up and a healthy meal (dds want me back on sensible eating and I am still getting my head round to it).

SIL replaced a light bulb for me which was sweet of him and he and DD are having a quiet afternoon at their home while another two dds have a spa day which sounds lovely.

My dds told me several horror stories of mums embarassing and clinging to their kids while at uni. One sent her dd a huge letter through the post only a couple of days after starting uni which would have been fair enough but she had written things like " to the best dd in the world" all over the envelope. Not sure her dd ever lived it down.

Another suddenly turned up wanting to spend the day with her daughter with no warning and was upset when her daughter tried to explain she had lectures she had to attend and would manage to go to lunch with her but had to get back soon after. I got so paranoid about not smothering them I always checked if they had any time for a lunch or quick shopping trip well beforehand.

I was changing my bed and found the super king duvet was getting heavy and awkward so have found a replacement which should be much lighter, still be cosy and is machine washable and anti allergy. Realised the duvet I am using was bought seven years ago and has had tea spilled over etc so I am not being profligate getting a new one.

Hester

Don't let them run you ragged even if it is only for a couple more weeks.

Holly

I just saw your post and under the circumstances I agree you should stay well out of it. Sounds as if SIL would not be willing or able to take on board any view other than hers right now which is such a shame since it might damage her relationship not only with son at uni but her husband and the rest of the family.

csarina

I know what you mean about your friend turning into a hermit and I am lucky I have family that visit and take me out now and again but I made myself go out and about as I did not want them to worry or feel they had to coax me out of a shell. I joined U3A and also volunteer at the library one afternoon a week but it took me a while to feel up to doing things on my own.

Hugs to all.

System

Garden is all prepared now for winter, maybe one more lawn cut before November but i think that will be it for this year. Grump did the heavy work and i took care of the [STRIKE]easy stuff[/STRIKE] detail.

TravellingAbuela

Percy Thrower signing in! I ache all over but I got all the garden jobs done and it's almost ready for winter. The garden wheelie was empty when I started this morning and by late this afternoon it was stuffed full! I have just left some geraniums in the front border as they still look too good to uproot. In another few weeks they too will go. I hate to see the garden looking so bare.

Oh HOLLY, reading an update on your DB's problems with his wife trying to cling on to their son puts me in mind of an acquaintance of mine. She just had the one child, a son, and when he went away to uni it was like the end of the world to her. Any girlfriends he had were never good enough for him and she did her best to drive a wedge between them. When he met "the one" his mum disliked her on sight and wouldn't have her in the house, refused to go to the wedding and the pair never spoke again. They have a child now about 8 who she has never seen. She's now a lonely and bitter woman and it could all have been so different.

Getting myself ready for the Strictly result, having avoided all the spoilers on the internet! Not sure who my money is on to go home this week as there are quite a few front runners!

Have a nice evening folks xx

whiteguineapig

holly, for what its worth i also think you'v done the right thing