Financial background

Red-Squirrel_2

It sounds like its the OP's adult child to be honest, which makes more sense than it being a random relative.

Pollycat

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

It sounds like its the OP's adult child to be honest, which makes more sense than it being a random relative.

Still sounds like a user to me.

Red-Squirrel_2

Pollycat wrote: »

Still sounds like a user to me.

Could well be, but makes it a bit more complicated and makes you wonder why they didn't actually say that in the first post.

Primrose

Well, even if it,s the poster,s child and they feel honour bound to give them a temporary home I,d out some pretty strict rules in place before agreeing to go ahead. The returner is obviously an adult so capable of understanding that
- they start looking for a job straight away
- they contribute towards their board and lodging
- they take responsibility for their own laundry and ironing, etc and other
appropriate household chores

Put a time limit on the arrangement and review progress towards the goal of regaining independent living to make sure there's no backsliding. The relative has obviously failed to make a success of their life overseas for whatever reason and will probably be returning with a sense of failure so needs to be encouraged in believing they can rebuild a successful life over here. It's one thing providing a safety net to a family member. It,s another to let them expect they can go on living entirely funded by others indefinitely.

chesky

Perhaps the OP could clarify whether or not it is a grown up child. I think the response IS different, rather than if it's a second cousin, twice removed.

mgdavid

just say NO

mrs_lds

It our nephew! His mam left him at a tender young age. We helped his dad bring him up

Primrose

Well I can understand you feel a certain moral obligation and closeness.
How old is he now?
Find out what his intentions are and try and do some research before he arrives on getting National insurance, bank account set up, places to look for job opportunities, oublic transport timetables etc. etc so that after a brief reorientation period he has the tools to hit the ground running.
Is he British? Where's his dad in all this ?