Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

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elizabethhull wrote: »

I was already on my local Freegle so that took care of such things as bedding, a shop's worth of scarves & hats, my father's old RAF uniform etc. Then I registered for Freegle where my parents' house was - and lots of big furniture went that way. One lady had always wanted a proper dressing-table and was almost in tears at getting one free.
Charities won't take anything electrical without a certificate, but someone who had a lad with a heart condition took my mother's adjustable day-bed, and he (and others) wrote to me afterwards to say how much they appreciated what had been given.

It was a lovely feeling to be able to donate so many things to people and I know my parents would have been astonished and pleased that their old stuff gave so much joy.

It's so nice to hear that your parents' belongings gave so much pleasure to others:T


I gave lots of Mum's bedding and towels to an animal rescue centre that I volunteer at. I also gave some of the almost new bedding to the local Salvation Army hostel in Mum's area and they were very pleased to receive it.


I'm a big fan of my local Freecycle groups and benefitted hugely in the past when, for instance, my printer died and I was so much in debt I couldn't afford a replacement however cheap. And printers are surprisingly cheap these days;). I also requested a VCR player on there as mine wouldn't work and I had lots on tape that I wanted to watch. I was snowed under by offers:rotfl:. Sadly, the one I received has now also died and my latest requests have gone unanswered:(.I've donated lots of my own items to Freecycle over the years. It's a brilliant resource for things that charity shops are unable to accept. I love to think of things having a new lease of life and giving pleasure to others:j


I was very upset by one man who came here in response to my offer of some of Mum's 'brown' furniture. It was nice if old fashioned and I assumed he would be using it 'as is' as he was an elderly gent. He let slip after OH had helped him load it into his van that he wanted it to chop up to feed his wood-burning stove:eek:


Lots of Mum's kitchenware, pans and so on were given to someone on Freecycle. I had to bring all that sort of thing home with me first though and deal with its dispersal here as I had no internet connection at Mum's home.

HairyHandofDartmoor

elizabethhull wrote: »

When my Aunt went into care last February, she didn't sort out what she wanted to take until the day before, when OH and I spent 6 hrs helping her choose. She took a HUGE amount ! It took 5 of us from midday to 6pm to put everything where she wanted.

When we cleared the room after her death a few weeks ago, it took 4 of us 20 man-hours to go through and sort out all personal possessions, Amongst other things we needed to find her Maundy Money which was willed to my brother. After the experience of clearing out my parent's house, 2 of us checked through every single book in case bank-notes had been secreted there. Because we would have to pay another month's rent on the room, a lot of stuff (as I inherited all the 'chattels') was brought to our house. We are still sorting through bags of stuff. We left a lot for Sue Ryder, who thankfully took all we left.

Jewellery had to be valued because (and I'm no tax expert, so I don't know why) anything valued at £500+ has to be notified to the solicitor.

It took me 3 months' worth of going down every Monday to do my parents' house. Had I not been meticulous in sorting, I would have missed over £2000 left in various places, £600 of £10 notes (3 different issues) left in books, and my mother's engagement ring left at the bottom of a sewing-basket etc etc !!!

It also depends how much of your memories of a person are invested in their things - I think for me it's quite a lot. I love that in t he lounge I sit on my father's chair, that OH reads a book using my father's standard lamp, that we use the family butter knife, that I wear my mother's engagement ring, that I use their trifle bowls for guests.

Heaven knows what my own DDs are in for when we pop our clogs - I think a mammoth skip !!!

That must have been difficult sorting out all that stuff Elizabeth. I agree that it can be nice to use the things of people you miss as it helps you to remember them. I've got some of my mum's jewellery and some of her scarves which I'd like to wear one day.

That's amusing finding all that money in books and where you found the engagement ring :rotfl:. Perhaps it was places they thought burglars wouldn't look.

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou wrote: »

I know my DS will just get a skip & off it will go :eek:

:eek: :eek: :eek: Well at least he won't have any clutter Beanie :rotfl:.

beanielou

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

:eek: :eek: :eek: Well at least he won't have any clutter Beanie :rotfl:.

:rotfl::rotfl:

That's true!!

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I can really empathise with everyone who has had the difficult job of clearing a deceased relatives home. So many decisions to make on so many levels. I had to do it when Mum died and it was such a worry apart from being physically exhausting. My brother wasn't able to help much with sorting and lifting as he had a back injury and was walking with crutches at the time. His wife worked full-time and his children lived a long way off and worked anyway. OH wasn't helping me because he and Mum hadn't spoken for about 30 years. To say they'd had 'issues' is an understatement:eek:. He offered to help, he was worried about my doing it all on my own as Mum had a lot of stuff, but I felt it would be wrong for me to ask him to come with me and go through her personal effects when during her life he wasn't welcome in her home. There wasn't a time limit on emptying the house though as it was going on sale and it was a bad time of year to sell a property according to the estate agents we called in. I was living there on my own for a couple of weeks as my parents' home was over 100 miles from here so I couldn't keep travelling there daily. Luckily, I had just retired by then and had plenty of time on my hands.


After bequests to family and friends, neighbours and more distant relatives were asked if there was anything else they would like. Typically it was always the small things they wanted as keepsakes, no one wanted big, heavy furniture:(. Although my brother couldn't help much he was a whizz at making arrangements and that sort of thing and I was constantly asking his advice about what to do with this or that item. We sent masses of items to auction, I took most of the clothes to charity shops but we were still left with so much that I just didn't know what to do with. Charity shops in the area didn't take furniture items. I phoned 3 different house clearance people but they either offered an insulting pittance and one of them needed paying to take stuff away:eek:. It wasn't rubbish either, he could have sold things eventually. Mum only had nice, quality things but a lot of what was left was 'old fashioned' as opposed to 'antique'.



Guess where most of the remainder ended up????? As if we haven't enough clutter anyway, it's taking in other people's belongings 'for now' that has engulfed us:(. Someone offered me the use of a van to get everything home but I still felt I should give him some payment and then there was the fuel costs. Tt took two trips, over 400 miles-worth of diesel:eek:. It was cold and icy weather too, early February, and my heart was in my mouth driving that big van:o. In retrospect I'd have been better hiring a 'man with a van', a bigger one that could have swallowed up everything at one trip. The costs were really high though and it worked out cheaper to do it the DIY way. I already had major 'cash flow' problems by then anyway:o. My brother was no use by this stage, his suggestion was to take it all to the tip/hire a skip:eek:. As an avid recycler/upcycler the idea of doing that was anathema to me:o. I decided to get it home somehow and work out what to do with it 'later'. He wasn't willing to contribute to the transport costs if I did that, he thought I was crazy:rotfl:. I eventually sold a lot at car boot sales but not really big items as transporting them to and fro was impossible.


I don't envy whoever who has to clear out this place after OH and I have popped our clogs:eek:. They'll need plenty of skips:rotfl:

What a massive undertaking Carboot :eek:. I can see why it was such a difficult job! I suppose if it's not bothering you then it doesn't matter, but as you say someone will have a task when you pass away :eek:. There are some charity shops near me that do take furniture, so it might be worth having another look.

My mum had a lot of clutter as she was very attached to objects which all had memories for her, she knew exactly who had given her an item and on what occasion, or where she had bought something. My mum had a very interesting life an career and each possession reminded her of some aspect of it. So she could never get rid of anything.

My stepdad has started to go through her things and now he's in a relationship I would imagine that process will speed up . DH has said I can have anything I want at our house so that I don't have to make quick decisions that I might regret. I won't be able to keep much though, because we don't have room for much. It won't be furniture, just her smaller personal items I should think.

HairyHandofDartmoor

elizabethhull wrote: »

I was already on my local Freegle so that took care of such things as bedding, a shop's worth of scarves & hats, my father's old RAF uniform etc. Then I registered for Freegle where my parents' house was - and lots of big furniture went that way. One lady had always wanted a proper dressing-table and was almost in tears at getting one free.
Charities won't take anything electrical without a certificate, but someone who had a lad with a heart condition took my mother's adjustable day-bed, and he (and others) wrote to me afterwards to say how much they appreciated what had been given.

It was a lovely feeling to be able to donate so many things to people and I know my parents would have been astonished and pleased that their old stuff gave so much joy.

That's really lovely Elizabeth that your parents' belonging were able to be useful and give pleasure to other people .

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

It's so nice to hear that your parents' belongings gave so much pleasure to others:T


I gave lots of Mum's bedding and towels to an animal rescue centre that I volunteer at. I also gave some of the almost new bedding to the local Salvation Army hostel in Mum's area and they were very pleased to receive it.


I'm a big fan of my local Freecycle groups and benefitted hugely in the past when, for instance, my printer died and I was so much in debt I couldn't afford a replacement however cheap. And printers are surprisingly cheap these days;). I also requested a VCR player on there as mine wouldn't work and I had lots on tape that I wanted to watch. I was snowed under by offers:rotfl:. Sadly, the one I received has now also died and my latest requests have gone unanswered:(.I've donated lots of my own items to Freecycle over the years. It's a brilliant resource for things that charity shops are unable to accept. I love to think of things having a new lease of life and giving pleasure to others:j


I was very upset by one man who came here in response to my offer of some of Mum's 'brown' furniture. It was nice if old fashioned and I assumed he would be using it 'as is' as he was an elderly gent. He let slip after OH had helped him load it into his van that he wanted it to chop up to feed his wood-burning stove:eek:


Lots of Mum's kitchenware, pans and so on were given to someone on Freecycle. I had to bring all that sort of thing home with me first though and deal with its dispersal here as I had no internet connection at Mum's home.

I can see why burning your mum's furniture would have upset you Carboot . It's a bit old fashioned I suppose so nobody wants to have dark wood unless it's a valuable antique.

HairyHandofDartmoor

redofromstart wrote: »

I've PMed you an update on the VAT, might help with planning.

Thank you very much Redo that's much appreciated . I'm useless at that type of thing and can't wait to be shot of it .

HairyHandofDartmoor

We've had two more replies about PPI. DH's packaged bank account with Barcl@ys said that it's "out of time" as he cancelled it in 2006 :mad:. That doesn't seem fair :mad:. Ll0yds CC said they will phone him :eek: and then make a decision by the end of March.

I'm not sure whether it's worth DH pursuing the Barcl@ys claim or how he'd go about it . Still only two have said no so far. We must remember to fill in the forms for the two that sent them.

We still haven't had our tax rebate . We seem to be teflon as far as money is concerned at the moment, we're repelling money rather than attracting it .

HairyHandofDartmoor

We've had two more replies about PPI. DH's packaged bank account with Barcl@ys said that it's "out of time" as he cancelled it in 2006 :mad:. That doesn't seem fair :mad:. Ll0yds CC said they will phone him :eek: and then make a decision by the end of March.

I'm not sure whether it's worth DH pursuing the Barcl@ys claim or how he'd go about it . Still only two have said no so far. We must remember to fill in the forms for the two that sent them. We've heard back from five accounts so far.

We still haven't had our tax rebate . We seem to be teflon as far as money is concerned at the moment, we're repelling money rather than attracting it .