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Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

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  • Onebrokelady
    Onebrokelady Posts: 7,906 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    My family never knew about my and DH's debts either. I would have hated them to find out :o. Especially the DC as it would have worried them.

    You shouldn't get letters or calls from creditors now Stepchange is dealing with it all.

    I know my girls would probably be angry with me and my youngest would worry about it a lot,my mum would want to pay it all off for me and would worry so it's best they don't know,at least if they do find out now they can see I'm taking control and doing something about it,my mum knows money is tight for me because it always has been since my partner left,but it's entirely my fault that I'm in debt now so I am the one who needs to sort it out

    It's been great since I arranged my DMP with StepChange,I was more thinking that I might start getting calls if I went self managed:)
    Original Debt Owed Jan 18 = £17,630 Paid To Date = £6,736 Owed = £10,894
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Newbie
    edited 30 October 2018 at 4:21PM
    Hi CB

    I am in a DMP with StepChange and they have been brilliant so far,Im about to test them next month because I need to reduce my payment and I'm hoping it will be ok,if not I will have to be brave and go the self managed route,I haven't done it yet because I needed someone to take charge and tell me what to do
    My debt problem is also a secret from my family so there is that added worry too,I would hate for my DDs to find out what a mess I'm in and so far I have managed to keep it to myself,if I go self managed I'm worried my creditors will start phoning me and writing again,I don't hear from them at the moment which is just fine by me:D

    Don't worry about going self-managed and receiving phone calls. Like you, no one ever knew about my debts either. OH and I have lived together since the 1970s but chose not to marry. It's a relationship that's lasted longer than many marriages of our contempories;). We have different surnames and totally separate bank and financial accounts. We pay the household bills 50/50 and I have managed to keep my dire financial state secret from OH for reasons I don't feel I can go into here. Sorry. He is unbelievably astute with money but never spends it. Good job we are both happy with a frugal life eh? It was quite a balancing act with my disposable money especially where food was concerned even when on a SC DMP but he never twigged:j. I became a very astute shopper.


    I was with SC for nearly 4 and a half years and then decided to self-manage after lots of advice on the DMP support thread on here. I wanted to cut my payments right back (beyond the level SC approved of) so I could get some savings together to be able to offer F&Fs eventually. I had no other savings. I was very wary about doing it in case my creditors started to phone again and OH should find out about my debts. I needn't have worried because I've only had a couple of phone calls altogether in over a year since I've self-managed. You can write to/phone your creditors and stipulate that you do not give them permission to contact you by phone and only want contact in writing. They have to obey this request so long as you don't just disappear off their radar and you always respond to letters they send you.


    Incidentally, I had to drop my repayments drastically once for about 3 months when I was with SC because of a massive vet bill and a car repair. I phoned them and they were very co-operative. If you want to stay with them I'd advise giving them a call first before you go self-managed. If you have a valid reason for lowering repayments they'll understand. You can't pay them what you don't have. Self-management is easy to set up and administer though. It must be, even I can do it:rotfl:
  • They certainly have had their pound of flesh Carboot! Our debts were at very similar levels. Good luck with the F&Fs. You've done so well. How many years have you had a DMP?

    I made my first payment to SC in March 2013 and never looked back:j. The best financial decision I ever made after a lifetime of disastrous ones. I was with them just over 4 years until going self-managed last year. All but one of my defaulted accounts will fall off my credit file by this time next year:j. It's not that I ever want credit again, heaven forbid, I've had my fingers well and truly burned:eek:. But after all the effort to repay what I owe I'd like it to be reflected in a clean credit report for my sake more than anyone else's IYKWIM.
  • beanielou wrote: »
    carbootcrazy~~Hope the F & F's go well when the time is right.

    Thank you, beanielou:T

    I've had proposal letters for 2 of my creditors drafted for a couple of weeks but haven't been able to bring myself to send them.


    I'm so desperate to clear my remaining debt as soon as possible that I'm really worried they won't accept my settlement offers. What a wimp I am:o
  • Thank you, beanielou:T

    I've had proposal letters for 2 of my creditors drafted for a couple of weeks but haven't been able to bring myself to send them.


    I'm so desperate to clear my remaining debt as soon as possible that I'm really worried they won't accept my settlement offers. What a wimp I am:o

    You must send them Carboot. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Have your debts been sold to any DCAs?
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 30 October 2018 at 9:08PM
    This morning DH and I did a bit of work on my business. Then I went for a long walk in the park. This afternoon DH and I calculated and submitted our vat return, which is my most hated job. I find it so stressful :(. But it's done now and the next one isn't due for three months :j.

    The washing is drying (or freezing) in the garden at the moment :).

    I'm getting used to having numb fingers and a frozen nose tip, but I think it may warm up a bit tomorrow. I'm very proud of us for not succumbing to the cold and putting the heating on :D. DS2 is partly nocturnal so doesn't benefit from heating anyway and we told DS1 to wrap up warm in lots of layers.

    So overall a productive day :A.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • HHOD, my house is big and old and drafty, and even with TD, stupidly long showers and no thought whatsoever for cost by anyone else we have never gone above £140 a month for gas and electricity. It does sound like a random figure by n power. Ours is down to £95 without the worst offender.

    I have a £3 hot water bottle with a knitted cover that solves the cold anything problem for me. I used to have a plug in heated blanket thing but rarely bothered. The bottle is so much more portable after all. You could stitch some little rice bags for microwaving as pocket warmers for a few pence? I used value rice in the ones I made for the boys. You could use an old clean sock if you really can't sew.

    Makes a change from me leading people astray doesn't it :)
  • The classic old style tip for reducing drafts is safety pinning cheap fleece blankets to the back of curtains as thermal liners. Ikea value type fleeces used to be about £1.50. The offcuts would cover a hot water bottle nicely.

    I'm also a fan of the sausage dog type draft excluders. Ours are offcuts of fleece, into a simple tube with half an old pillow as stuffing. It matters less when the blasted dog decides they are a deadly enemy in the middle of the night that way. Stuffed socks for the non sewers, anything that blocks the draft.

    Cats can be useful as lap and hand warmers, but in my experience they cost more to run than a full house of 24/7 central heating.
  • HairyHandofDartmoor
    HairyHandofDartmoor Posts: 13,960 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 30 October 2018 at 9:11PM
    Thanks Redo :).

    We do have one hot water bottle Redo, but would the cost of boiling the kettle make our bill go up? Microwaving rice bags is a good idea; microwaves are cheap to run I think. I could look for material in the charity shop.

    We do have a lot of draughts. Our bay windows are about six feet tall and have eight panes in each bay :eek: but we could try sourcing cheap fleece blankets. Our living room curtains are very thin and unlined; they were there when we moved in fifteen years ago and we've never had the money to replace them.

    We don't have any draught excluders but I could try making some. The furry moron will attack them, but maybe I could wrap them in bubble wrap as he won't like the taste of that.

    I've got two pairs of socks on now so my feet feel warmer and I'm drinking tea out of my travel mug so it doesn't get cold so quickly. I'm also using a candle instead of lights in the breakfast room half of the kitchen :D.
    Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally
    Debt in July 2017 = £58,766 😱 DEBT FREE 31 OCTOBER 2017 :T 🎉
    EMERGENCY FUND 1 = £50/£5,000. EMERGENCY FUND 2 = £10/£5,000.
    CHRISTMAS SAVINGS = £0/£500. SEF = £1,400/£12,000 PREMIUM BONDS ME = £350. PREMIUM BONDS DH = £300.
    HOLIDAY MONEY = £0 TIME LEFT TO PAY OFF MORTGAGE = 5 YEARS 1 MONTHS
  • System
    System Posts: 178,368 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    I think N power have your house mixed up with a mansion. £45 a week is astronomical !

    I love a hot water bottle as well , I am still using my children's from 25 years ago . The rubber seems to be fine still.

    On the subject of Lakeland , I was in there Saturday for lunch in Windermere. We got some free mulled wine , had a little mooch but didn't buy anything. I have a few bits from there but nothing wildly expensive.

    Have you been paid yet ?
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
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