Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

beanielou

Good idea to look at other places. 

badmemory

I think you underestimate yourself & your abilities.  They are very strapped for cash.  From what you have said you are on something like a zero hours contract.  This would mean that they can use you when they really need to.  That makes you more useful to them than someone they are having to pay for the full week every week.  Those are the pros, the cons are that you haven't been there long & not on a lot of hours so you are cheaper to get rid of than someone who has worked there years.

Remember that their problems are, like pretty much everyones at the moment, all about the money.

enthusiasticsaver

I also think the bad weather and this lockdown is affecting peoples MH even more as we haven't got the sunshine to sit out in the garden or go walking in this time.  I agree with Badmemory that you must be invaluable to them as they have the advantage of just paying when they need you if you are zero hours contract.  That means they have all the advantages but must be unsettling for you money wise. 

beanielou

Agree 100% that lockdown is affecting people’s lives & minds even if they cannot acknowledge it or even realise it. 

Every group of people I am involved with is the same & there are tensions that were never there before. 

I personally seem to feel constantly on edge & it is not a good way to feel. 

Onebrokelady

Just caught up on your diary Hairy😊I agree with those who have said the current situation is affecting everyone at the moment, there's a lot of Everyman for himself going on because people are scared if they are going to keep their jobs, I'm in what could be classed as a really secure job from a demand point of view but moral where I work has gone through the floor but for different reasons,it's so busy in the hospital and staff are dropping like flies due to the virus so the workload is heavy, my poor DD came home from work on Monday and just cried her heart out when she got in the door,she hadn't even taken her coat off she was so upset because a relative of a patient had yelled at her on the phone,she had been running round all day trying to sort this patient out and that was the thanks she got 😟
On another note you mentioning about the boy spreading glue all over his desk reminded me of covering our hands in PVA glue and then peeling it off when I was at school 😀 

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thanks everyone 🙂. It's true that we are living in stressful times generally and everyone must be worried about their jobs at the moment.

Lunchtime was fine today apart from walking around in the drizzle for an hour, but I had an awful afternoon in the difficult class  😞. The tricky boy was in a right mood and refused to come with me to do his work. He just lay on the floor shaking his head. The teacher couldn't persuade him either. We tried ignoring him but he started being disruptive so in the end she had to send for the deputy head who carted him off forcibly. I felt really bad because I couldn't persuade him to come with me, it just makes me feel like a complete failure and I actually felt close to tears 😞. I'm dreading having to go in tomorrow and spend all day working with him now 😞.

Willowtree222

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

Thanks everyone 🙂. It's true that we are living in stressful times generally and everyone must be worried about their jobs at the moment.

Lunchtime was fine today apart from walking around in the drizzle for an hour, but I had an awful afternoon in the difficult class  😞. The tricky boy was in a right mood and refused to come with me to do his work. He just lay on the floor shaking his head. The teacher couldn't persuade him either. We tried ignoring him but he started being disruptive so in the end she had to send for the deputy head who carted him off forcibly. I felt really bad because I couldn't persuade him to come with me, it just makes me feel like a complete failure and I actually felt close to tears 😞. I'm dreading having to go in tomorrow and spend all day working with him now 😞.

It's so hard not to take it all personally, isn't it? It's not though. You have been with him a lot less than the teacher and she did not manage to do it either. The deputy head which normally children comply with had difficulty as well. It was aimed at all the adults, and not just you. I am also sure if another student would have asked him, or even his parents, he still would not have gone. 
 I was once given this pep talk after an incident with one child. "Think about how many children you have had positive and beautiful encounters with today. Ones without incident, that have said thank you, been polite or just generally done exactly as they are expected to do. Why are you judging your value by the response of one child?" That really resonated with me. You often have 30 students in a class. Think about the other 29 and how they responded before you put a value on yourself. 
I hope you don't spend the rest of the evening reflecting on that one incident. I am sure there were hundreds of other beautiful encounters during your day all of which went with recognition of what wonderful relationships you have with those children. 
x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Nicnak that was a really lovely supportive post . It is hard not take it personally but normally I talk myself out of feeling like that. But today I don't feel very resilient. Maybe it's the new lockdown, or my cold, or the upcoming changes at the school. I just took it really personally today. Your reply has made me feel better so thank you .

Willowtree222

If it helps even more, I regular get a barrage of abuse, chairs and tables thrown, personal insults about me and my lessons, anything that they can do to get a reaction, the next day they can also be the most kind caring lovable children. 
I have been told that all behaviour is communication noatter how unpleasant it can be. If you analyse that situation. If you're not feeling it at a weekend and you're exhausted, distressed and not feeling it and your DH suggests you do some of your uni work, you're likely to say no (politely obviously) I think he's likely having one of those days without the skills to say it, but also wanting attention. 
Those days when it gets to you are truly awful. I just hope you do manage to focus on the positive. X

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Nicnak. I'm sure you're right and it's frustration on his part and not being able to express it. He's so different than the other children and doesn't respond in the same way. I'll do what you suggest and focus on all the other children who respond much better. My lunchtime class are really sweet and even the rest of the difficult class have many children who do respond well. I'll try to focus on that .

I think you're really amazing to cope with all that abuse by the way Nicnak. I know I couldn't cope with it.