Divorce - latest guidelines on equity split?

ALI1973

HI.

I did my own divorce back in 1999. I was in a similar position to you except because my marriage was violent I left the house, which unfortunately meant that my claim over it diminished. The reason I chose to Do it Myself was after some poor advice from a solicitor, who after telling him that I was beaten to a pulp regularly, and my ExH was having an affair, told me that a) I couldn't divorce him unless I could PROVE 5 counts of abuse (reports to police only count!) or the OW agreed to be sited b) That I needed to move back in even if he wouldn't leave so that I could keep my claim on the property. So as I valued my life more than any money I may get I left with NOTHING. I then waited for two years by which time he (after a little blackmail from me, ie he wanted to rent the house but I was still named on the mortgage) agreed to a divorce. So I went to the County Court got the papers, filled them in, they are fairly straight forward and easily understood and after 6 months I was divorced. Total cost approx. £300.

Not the most ideal situation I know, but if you can sort out the nitty gritty yourself then definately DIY. Most of all be good to yourself. I do not regret giving it all up, I learnt a lot and (I think) I am a better person for the experience.

Take care
Ali

parley

I don't understand how your claim to the house was diminished. So if one leaves the house they cannot claim for the house? My husband left but kept paying half the mortgage. He filed for divorce. So is he intitled to a claim on the house or not as he left. If we sold the house how would the proceeds be split, I have our son and he doesn't have any contact with our son, which was his choice?

AuntyJean

parley wrote:

I don't understand how your claim to the house was diminished. So if one leaves the house they cannot claim for the house? My husband left but kept paying half the mortgage. He filed for divorce. So is he intitled to a claim on the house or not as he left. If we sold the house how would the proceeds be split, I have our son and he doesn't have any contact with our son, which was his choice?

I think it will depend on how long you have been married and how old your son is. The Court would take into consideration that you may not have contributed financially because you were staying home to bring up your son. Is the house/mortgage in joint names? There are so many factors to take into consideration and whilst your husband left you he is still entitled to a share.

In my case, my father bought the council house we had moved into when my daughter was 13. We were paying him (instead of having a mortgage) and had only paid one years repayments when he died. The deeds were in joint names and when my mother died a year later I inherited 1/2 of their estate which meant my sister got mum & dads house and possessions and I had my house and some cash. I paid for double glazing, central heating, fitted kitchen and our first holiday ever abroad a few years later (when daughter was living with hubbytobe) out of my inheritance. I also bought a newer car (RS Turbo).

I walked out after 25 years (hubby still wanted more and he was out of work more than in work!) taking only what I could carry in a taxi. I even left him with the car and contributed towards his bills for a year! I honestly thought that if we did divorce, I would at least be entitled to 2/3rds.

When I went to see a solicitor I was advised that as I had been married for 25 years my husband would be entitled to 1/2 and, this is the best bit, he may even be entitled to extra as I was earning more than him!

So fella's, it isn't always you that gets the short straw.

BTW my parents were 64 and 56 when they died so, that is why I see no point in planning financially for retirement. The harder you work, the more is taken away from you and you may never live to enjoy it.

Bossyboots

I would agree you should have had 2/3 or even 75%. If your EH's earning capacity was lower than yours it would have swung in his favour. This should not have been merely if he was earning less than you, but if he put in the effort could he earn a comparable salary to you for his line of work. If the answer is no then he gets more. If the answer is yes then his income should be largely disregarded. The length of marriage of 25 years does cancel out a huge chunk of the capital you put in but because it was so much substantially more than his, you should have had credit for this. In addition you should have had credit for paying his bills for a year.

As for retirement planning, I know loads and loads of people well over 75. Some did not bother planning for retirement, some did. Those that didn't have become a burden to their children and live a hand to mouth existence. You cannot simply ignore retirement planning in case you die younger than today's average. What if you don't.

margaretclare

Bossyboots wrote:

As for retirement planning, I know loads and loads of people well over 75. Some did not bother planning for retirement, some did. Those that didn't have become a burden to their children and live a hand to mouth existence. You cannot simply ignore retirement planning in case you die younger than today's average. What if you don't.

Hi Bossyboots

I agree with you. None of us can tell what will happen. We may die relatively young, as did Aunty Jean's parents. We could live to be 100, as many people are doing nowadays!

In my case, I've outlived both of my parents (father died aged 57, mother aged 63). I've also outlived one of my daughters who died aged 39 at the end of 2002 from an undiagnosed congenital heart condition and I've outlived my first husband who died aged 58 leaving me a widow at 57. At 70 next month I've lived longer than many people in my family.

I didn't do a lot of 'retirement planning', but 2 decisions I made in earlier years I'm really pleased about - one was to pay full NI contributions and the other was to work full-time meaning that I could pay into the NHS pension scheme. So I get full pension in my own right and also annuities based on work. I'm now happily remarried, we have a decent income between us and I'm still saving - stakeholder pension due to mature in 5 yrs time which will give us a bit extra, a nice tax-free lump sum for a super holiday!

None of us can predict what's round the corner, I've seen that more than most. But one thing is sure - if we live longer then we'll need a little money to be comfortable, to be able to make choices, pay the bills and have some over to enjoy life. We are also not worried about leaving a legacy to descendants - they can have what's left over after our comfort, choice and convenience is taken care of.

To return to the thread, my husband walked out on his last marriage with just about what he stood up in. He gave up the equity in the matrimonial home, plus all the furniture etc, in return for keeping his pension fund. Which is far more valuable to him! He was just glad to get away - as he said, it's only bricks and mortar, it's only 'things'.

Aunty Margaret

crutches

take lessonsfrom my husbands .exwife.....
bought property together he put in his inheritance..livedthere together for 3 yrs during which time she movedaway to uni returning for hols taking one child(not his) with her and leaving him with 1.had baby his and took baby back to uni.
found out he was having affairand had had achild,
came back changed locks, stopped access totally,got court settlement 80% of house to be settled on her,20% to him when ygest child 18 or if sheremarries or livesas man and wife. after this she moved her girlfriend from uni in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then threwout 1 child who has livedwith him almostever since and the other has jointresidence.


a 50/50split is not usual especially with young children restricting your own ability to work.

get a nanny and have an affairwith her???!!!