'Spending Money' in retirement

liz3chickens

My husband retired in June at 70, I retired a couple of years ago with two small pensions but no SP until 2019. We have savings but our income is less than half pre retirement.
All household bills, food, petrol, savings for expenses etc are paid from our current account and we agreed (or so I thought ) that we would draw out £100 each in cash every four weeks for personal spending money - newspapers, coffee, drinks etc.
For the third month running my husband has spent all his money after two weeks and has drawn out more. At this rate we will be dipping into our savings to cover household expenses every month. Our last discussion about finances ended in a row.
Does anyone have advice on how to resolve this?

PeacefulWaters

Shout at him.

pearl123

Sit him down and have a serious talk.
"Save it you've got it, spend it you've had it."

Keep_pedalling

This is a big change for both of you and some people just don't handle the change in financial circumstances very well. To some extent he may be an denial about his spending.

You need to sit down and talk this through, but before you do draw up a detailed account of your saving and spending so you can hit him with the reality of your financial situation. Do a seperate account of where you will stand when your SP kicks in so he can see that this period of extream frugality is only short term.

Depending on the level of your savings you might want to agree to dip into that to a limited amount to cover some expenses between now and when your SP kicks in, bearing in mind you should be able to top them up again once your pension comes in (you may want to set your own account up to receive this to keep out of the way of temptation)

comeandgo

Liz3 my husband is exactly the same, he has been retired a number of years, I'm still working and he spends as he has always done. He did get a yearly report from his credit card and when he saw the yearly amount, and he knows how much he gets from pensions per year, he was able to comprehend that my income was supporting his spending habits.
I retire in two years time so hope to have weaned him off spending as much by then.

Silvertabby

£25 per week is more than enough for newspapers, coffee, etc. Do you know what else he is buying?

Jackmydad

Problem is at the moment that the more he spends, the more he has to spend.
He needs to realise that, at present the money just isn't there and you have to budget.
Talk is the only answer. How you handle that is down to you I'm afraid. Don't let it become a row.
He knows really that he's in the wrong here.
£25 will soon go if you're in town. Coffee, paper, a book or a magazine, pint at lunchtime. Gone.
I'm glad I have to get in the car to do those things and so I don't!
The answer is to stay away from opportunities to spend.
Have a paper delivered?

pinkshoes

If you do the cooking, serve him beans on toast every night and vegetarian food and explain that due to him taking more money than agreed, you have had to cut money from bills elsewhere.

It may have ended in an argument, but it is something that needs arguing out until you reach a solution.

I assume by him retiring, it has meant his pension is far less than his salary was, and he is not doing well at changing his spending habits?

GreenQueen

Is he struggling to find ways to occupy himself in retirement, and spending on things to fill the gap. Perhaps he needs a hobby/an adult education class/something to keep him busy (obviously not something too expensive!). Charities usually have plenty of opportunities for volunteers, with some company and a cup of coffee thrown in.

belfastgirl23

There are two different issues here.

One is that he doesn't have enough money to fund his retirement as he'd like.

The other is that he's spending your joint money without your agreement.

The danger is that you feel you can dictate what he can and can't spend money on because of point 2. But the problem is actually point 1.

If you both agreed together and freely not to dip into savings then he is breaking that agreement. I'd focus on that. The question for him (not you!) is what he therefore does about it his spending gap. Options are find another source of income or spend less. That part is up to him and in your shoes I'd be making that really clear. Otherwise you will just end up nagging him every time he spends on something you think is a waste, of high would be horrible for both of you!

belfastgirl23

There are two different issues here.

One is that he doesn't have enough money to fund his retirement as he'd like.

The other is that he's spending your joint money without your agreement.

The danger is that you feel you can dictate what he can and can't spend money on because of point 2. But the problem is actually point 1.

If you both agreed together and freely not to dip into savings then he is breaking that agreement. I'd focus on that. The question for him (not you!) is what he therefore does about his spending gap. Options are probably find another source of income or spend less. That part is up to him and in your shoes I'd be making that really clear. Otherwise you will just end up nagging him every time he spends on something you think is a waste, and that would be horrible for both of you!

Edited to say; a third option is that you agree to dip into savings and both take out more. If you're talking e.g. £20 a month that might be worth considering, particularly if he could then see himself sticking to the budget.