Narcissistic Mother

trailingspouse

If you can possibly afford it, make an appointment to see a psychotherapist yourself. They will help you to cope in a way that is right for you.

Tigsteroonie

OP, the information - and forum - on http://outofthefog.website/ are very enlightening

Cakeguts

coffeehound wrote: »

No, that's vanity. Google 'adult children of narcissists' and you'll see the kind of behaviours the OP describes.

I had a similar epiphany as you BlueMini05 some years back. Once I stopped bending to her mindgames and made it clear she wasn't able to use implied guilt to manipulate, her behaviour changed overnight from accusations and criticism to obsequious fawning.

She is still trying to use you because she thinks she can still use guilt to manipulate you. Break that link and things should change.



https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/lifetime-connections/201611/5-tips-adult-children-narcissists

This link is not my experience of narcissistic mothers. I had one with the scapegoat, golden child thing going on. What often happens as in my experience is that the mother divides the children and plays them off against each other so that the children fail to have a good relationship with each other. As adults they just don't get on because once away from the mother they become different people. The golden child grows up with a sense of entitlement because they have always been told that they are special and good at everthing. In my case we have the interesting situation that if I am passing close to where my sister lives I will drop in. If my sister is passing close to where I live she doesn't. She was the golden child. We live 120 miles apart so to be passing close you have to be going to the area.

My mother used to tell me how wonderful my sister was at everything and how bad I was at everything. When my sister was young and well trained by my mother she used to help my mother by telling me how difficult I had always been. Being younger the only way she could have known this was because my mother told her. This kind of thing ensures that the children don't get on. They don't get on when they are adults either because the golden one can't let go of their status.

I am not sure that someone who has a good relationship with a sibling has had a true narcissistic parent.

pearl123

Have a look on facebook you should be able to find a group for a chat.

lincroft1710

You do realise this thread is 6 months old!

[Deleted User]

To my mind the only person who should feel guilt in the OP's scenario is her mother.


I would let go and concentrate on your other relationships.