Is it normal to feel like this?

sunday_girl

Been a lurker here for many years. We have been on a dmp for the past 4 years with one more to go. Dmp started at £11600 and is now down to just over £3k. Our debt at highest was £19800 but we had managed to pay it down quite a bit before the boiler needed replacing and we ended up on the dmp.

I don't regret taking the dmp out but I'm feeling so sick of it all now, even though I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I just don't want to have to do another year of scraping by, watching every damn penny. I just want to be free of it now! I'm starting to feel so down about how much the debt has affected our lives for the last few years, how there are so many more things we could have been doing if it wasn't for our stupid mistakes with money. We'd could have moved from a house we aren't happy with but no chance of having the money to do that for a long time, we are even paying over the odds on our mortgage as we are stuck on the svr with Santander.

I think I just need some reassurance that it's all going to be worth it in the end? I have to admit seeing everyone off on foreign holidays has really hit hard this summer. This is something we should have been able to do for our family. As it is we've struggled to afford even camping holidays !!!9785;!!!65039;

sourcrates

Hi,

If your down to just 3k can you not afford to back off on the payments a little ?

Treat your self and family to something, doesn't have to be a race you know.

menachem

It is not easy to be in a situation like you. However, you cannot hurry things. Maybe, you need to ponder about the way you budget things.

determined_new_ms

I would say yes it is normal to feel like this at the point you are in repayment. You've been doing it forever and there's still a way to go. However the next year is going to go by quickly. Are there anyways you could try to raise additional cash to either pay it off quicker or make some fun money to ease the pressure slightly?

[Deleted User]

I agree, it must feel never ending but you've achieved something that a lot of people couldn't do/face doing.
Revel in the satisfaction that you've cleared such a lot of it, buy yourself a couple of bottles of wine this, Bank Holiday, weekend and toast your '98% there' success.


Also, it's sometimes worth stopping to wonder how many of those people going away on holiday, will have to add that holiday debt to the Christmas debt - which is looming - it'll be there sooner than they think for !!!


Well done you, you're an inspiration to many.

tori.k

Yep I really struggled towards the end of our debt journey it felt so unproductive everything that could be cut back was, and it was just a case of rolling with it. I've discovered I'm not a good back seat driver. Only thing that kept me sane over the whole affair was challenging myself to truly put my house in order at no cost so I declutter and cleaned and gardened my way throughout it all

StopIt

I know it's difficult now, especially as the grind has hurt.


However. Remember once you get that last DMP payment out of the door, it'll immediately free up the payment for things over than paying creditors. Once you've saved yourself a buffer so you don't need to resort to credit again in the case of emergency, set yourself a savings target for a big holiday/purchase.


And remember, people going on their big holidays now, may be paying for it later. Because of paying for our DD we haven't had anything other than a weekend break this year, but will be saving for a 2018 holiday instead. Not everyone is able to afford these big summer holidays! Don't be envious of those who may end up in the same boat as you.

Suseka97

Yes, it's natural to feel a bit fed up, particularly if you've really cut your expenses to the bone. I'm kind of where you are now - or at least I was, but I've decided to take more of a scenic route to the end. I've been in a DMP for a few months over 4 years and had I kept my payments at the same level they were - would have been debt free in March 2018.

But, like you I haven't had any holidays (only the odd weekend break to visit family in the UK - which is lovely, don't get me wrong - but not what I would call a holiday per se). Also, a good few house repairs and broken things need replacing and I realised I needed to change my mind set about my DMP.

So - I've cut my payments back (well at the moment I'm not actually paying anything because I've sent off CCA requests to all remaining (6) creditors to check those accounts are actually enforceable -but that's another story). I'm expecting them to come back as enforceable, but these last couple of months of not paying has allowed me to sort out some of my housey stuff and start to set aside funds for some possible F&Fs at some point..

To do that I've gone self-managed - although I genuinely thank SC for all there help over the last 4 years, but now I can be more flexible in how I choose to handle the DMP and I'm no longer bothered about the end date anymore. When I do start paying my creditors again the amount will be a less and I'm aiming to end my DMP in December 2018, or early 2019. By extending the debt free date by 9 months or more - it's giving me breathing space and I no longer feel I'm having to scrimp and save.

All my debts are defaulted - so the fact is, it really doesn't matter when the balance zero's on my credit file because the defaults fall off at the 6 year point, whether the account is paid off or not.

So - it's really up to you. Dig in and carry on as you are (and there's nothing wrong with doing that if that's what you want), or cut yourself some slack and revisit your I&E statement and reduce your DMP payment to something more manageable/affordable.

Happierdays

Wow you have done amazingly. .. what an amount to have cleared!
Although not on a dmp, I think we have about another year (or likely a bit less) of being in debt and I can relate to that "I just want it gone NOW!" feeling lol... starting to get impatient even though we've cleared so much so I keep trying to think, thank goodness we're no longer in the amount of debt we were... and we've been channelling the frustration of being in debt and not able to "do" much (ie not much that costs money!) into getting house and Garden in order (like tori.k ) and other free stuff that needs doing such as allotment... AND find it really satisfying once we start doing it!
Best of luck with the rest of it

sunday_girl

Thank you all for your kind replies :A.

It's so nice to be able to vent/share with people who understand how hard it can be. I don't have anyone to share the burden with in real life (except my husband) as we haven't told anyone about the DMP. Realistically I know we have done the right thing and achieved a lot by committing to pay off our debt. Including the debt we added to the mortgage pre-lightbulb (:mad:) we will have paid off over 50k in 10 years by the time we come to the end of this. To the outside world however we probably look like !!!!less people who are still poor and unable to budget despite us both working!!

I think for the moment I just need to keep on keeping on. I completely understand the points about taking the scenic route but the debts have been hanging over us for so long I just can't wait to be free. On paper our budget is no longer all that tight but something always seems to come along to blow it. I think my children getting older is also making it more difficult, we've exhausted the free/cheap activities over many years, I just want to be able to take them on a good holiday before their childhood is over (eldest coming up 16). I know I can't see inside other people's finances but everyone else seems to be able to achieve this with ease (should probably stay off Facebook!).

Sorry for the rant, I know there are people who are just starting out on this journey who would gladly swap with my 3k left of remaining debt. I just didn't expect it to feel this hard at this point in time.

The house and garden are a source of unhappiness for me, there is so much that needs doing. I know I need to focus on something other than the rest of the debt to see me through the next year so I will do what I can, we are used to doing everything on a shoestring!

I am starting to save for a holiday next year. It won't be the big one I would like but we need to make sure we prioritise it. Having nothing to look forward to hasn't helped with how I'm feeling.

whattodo1967

You really are not alone we have around 15 more payments on our DMP, and I am same sick to death of not having a holiday last holiday was 2012 and having to watch every penny and like you say the effect it has had on my family really gets me down at times. My husband also suffered a heart attack earlier this year and his only 54, so has made me look at what is really important. Sorry to jump on your post, hopefully your year will fly by, and hopefully mine will too, and will we then be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.