About working once retired.

lessonlearned

Well we are veering away from the thread here but I think that when dealing with "negative nellies" and their unpleasant comments/attitudes the trick is to remember it speaks volumes about them, it actually has very little to do with you. In short, it's their problem, not yours.

I can understand how these things can rankle but for what it's worth my opinion is you are wasting your time with people like that.

The world is full of nice, decent, honest and kind people, so there's no reason why we have to put up with the unpleasant ones. That's the beauty of being retired!!! You no longer have to deal with rude, obnoxious bores. . They have no dominion over you.

I came across a great phrase the other day........"don't walk away, sashay". So head up and swing those hips as you turn away from them. Saunter away as if you hadnt care in the world, even if your heart is broken and your stomach is in knots. Just fake it.

"They" say revenge is a dish best eaten cold. It isn't. The best form of revenge is to live a happy and fulfilled life. Our enemies can't bear to see us happy, it will drive them nuts. :rotfl:

So if you can't think of a suitable pithy put down, just smile and "sashay" - elegantly......

Money - are you familiar with Neurolinguistic Programming. NLP. Basically it's about the power of words. We are what we think, our thoughts become our actions and our actions become our lives. So the words we choose are of vital importance.

An example.

Consider the difference between "should" and "could".

I should denotes obligation, I could denotes choice. So I should wash my hair tonight becomes a chore when we would perhaps prefer to loll around watching TV. I could wash my hair tonight becomes a proactive choice to take care of ourself, an act of self love to enhance both our appearance and our sense of well being. Or not, we can chose to wash our hair in the morning.

Sounds a bit airy fairy doesn't it but it actually works.

There's loads of info out there, motivational videos, blogs etc. about how NLP works.

Life is short, too short to worry about "getting your own back"

Leave it to Karma.

Ultimately the nasty ones are always the architects of their own nemesis. They always reap as they sow. No one gets away scot free, karma always repays.

Living_proof

Well I will continue to work with my existing clients once I draw my pension but won't look for new ones. That way I can go part-time immediately and gradually the work will fade away altogether. Any money I do get as a result I will use for treats - holidays, outings, etc. I'd rather not pay tax so I won't overdo it! I do feel for those slightly older folk who are going to have to work until they are 68 - I think most of them will have to cut their hours in latter years particularly if they are doing heavy manual work.

Farway

lessonlearned wrote: »

Life is short, too short to worry about "getting your own back"

Leave it to Karma.

Ultimately the nasty ones are always the architects of their own nemesis. They always reap as they sow. No one gets away scot free, karma always repays.

A couple order a take away, pizza & a curry
When it arrives they squabble over who ordered what
As they tug at the packages the curry spills all over them

That's Korma

lessonlearned

:rotfl::rotfl:

Great joke.

Living Proof. I think that's a great way to approach retirement, just looking after your existing clients until they pop off the radar, gently winding down and earning enough to make a bit of extra spending money. Especially if it's work you enjoy.

I once worked for the senior partner in a law firm who did this. Problem was he clients stuck around for decades. :rotfl:

He was 82 when I worked for him. He would come in about two days a week, swan in at around 10.30, have coffee, work a bit then go out for a long leisurely lunch. Back for an hour, cup of tea, a quiet nap, sign his letters and then go home at about 3.30. A perfect working day.

Percybridge

lessonlearned wrote: »

Y
........and ran the job as if it were my own business, making decisions and being prepared to accept full responsibility for my decisions, being prepared to argue my case and get what I wanted.

I ran my sales complex as if it were my private kingdom......

This meant my sales rate soared and I quickly gained a reputation for being able to handle the most difficult and awkward of clients and most complex cases. I was often parachuted into failing developments where sales had stalled. Then, when I had turned them round I would demand (very nicely of course) to be given the nice sites.

I think I valued myself more and put a higher price on my abilities so I would negotiate myself good pay rises and better commission deals.
I think this went down well with my employers who began to show real respect for me. I know this sounds cocky but I found out that site agents......the ones who actually build the houses, would ask for me.

Could I have done this without university, yes probably because you don't need a degree in that line of work, it's more about your character and personal skills. But I think what gave me the edge was a new found confidence. I had proved myself academically and intellectually so I no longer felt inferior.

Yes I was probably "good enough" at my job prior to university. Certainly I never had any complaints from any of my employers but I think university was definitely the icing on the cake. It propelled my career into the stratosphere.

I was often head hunted and I eventually ended up owning my own prioerty company selling properties in Spain. I seriously doubt I would have ever had the confidence or courage to take on such an enterprise without taking that time out for my own personal development.

I do believe that university is about far more than just getting an academic qualification, I think it also helps develop character and skills which can translate into just about every area of life. I think it's just as much about personal development as it is about a piece of paper.

It's amazing that despite having such a glittering career that you are now living below the poverty line and being in the bottom 10% of the population in terms of income.
What further astonishes me is that you feel able to give advice to the OP about the need to make provision for their retirement when neither you or your late husband were able to haul yourselves above the poverty line.
If I were to boast about being so eminent in my field, then I would expect something to show for it so that I could laud it over those who were so lacking in judgement.
Don't forget the OP and her husband are in poor health which may have a bearing on their finances.
I am just pleased that we live in a society where we can look after our sick and I am happy to pay extra tax for that purpose.
The phrase about glass houses and throwing stones springs to mind.

lessonlearned

Wow, Percy......that's quite a post. Why don't you say what you think, hon. Lol

Oh and before I answer you, thanks for the "glittering career" remark although without wishing to be too modest I do think you are rather over egging the pudding. (or do I detect a note of sarcasm there).

I would hardly describe flogging houses as a glittering career. Lol. It's not exactly rocket science. It was just an ordinary job, one which, As I said to Dorothy, is a job that anyone can do. You don't need actually need academic qualifications to do it or even be good at it.

However, as Dorothy wanted to know whether she thought my attending university had made any difference to my career I merely described how I felt it had helped me, giving examples of how my working life did change post university.

It was certainly not meant as bragging, merely an illustration as to how a new confidence in myself seemed to propel me forward. The job was the same but I had changed the way I did that job - with, I might say, totally unexpected and rather astonishing results. I certainly never expected to end up owning my own company and I don't think that without that confidence boost I would have ever dared to attempt it.

Now lets get down the rest of your post.

You seem to think that I have nothing of value to add to this discussion and are affronted that I have the audacity to put myself forward to offer advice to Candy.

Well I would answer that by saying that I think my past experience, the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned make me an ideal candidate to give advice. Why, because I actually know what I'm talking about. I have been there, done it, and as they say, got the t-shirt, ha ha. I have direct, personal experience which is relevant to Candys situation. I have walked the walk so consider myself sufficiently qualified to talk the talk.

And, if I can help and advise someone then I will. I am always happy to share my knowledge and any little tricks I have learned along the way if I think i can be of help and add value.

Many of the posters on here know me well but obviously you know nothing about me, so, for your delectation, here is a brief potted history of how I came to find myself £30k in debt and what I did to salvage what was a dire situation.

Up until 2006 my husband and I were doing ok. He had his own company, I had ceased trading on my own company and had gone back to working for a local property developer. I was 55 and fed up with travelling for my business. I was still doing ok, earning around £35k a year with commission and bonuses and my husbands business was thriving.

Then in 2006 I noticed my husband didn't seem well so I eventually prevailed upon him to see his GP. The diagnosis was shocking. The medics were hopeful but I just knew in my heart that he had been delivered a death sentence. He was 49.

His illness was called Multiple System Atrophy with a Cerebellar Attaxia presentation. MSA-CA. Look it up, the effects are devastating. Hold in your minds eye an image of Stephen Hawkins and you get the idea.

So I did what any loving wife would do - I gave up my job to become his carer. I was his carer for 9 years.

As I explained earlier the State lets us down. Very badly. My aunt couldn't have been more accurate in her warnings if she had tried. Thank God she didn't live to see how I had to beg, plead and grovel for help.

It took me 18 months, three appeals and a tribunal before they would pay him disability. By this time he was in a tilt in space recliner wheelchair because he couldn't sit unsupported. He couldn't speak. I had to haul him before a panel of 3 judges in that state, when I tell you they were shocked that it had got that far it is a gross understatement. Those poor men were so shamed and embarrassed they could barely speak themselves. They were squirming and visibly shaken that a man so obviously sick and disabled had received no help. I felt sorry for them that they had been placed in such a dreadful situation.

I had to pay for all his equipment, stair lift, wheelchairs, house adaptations, even down to his incontenance pads. Nothing from the State, zilch, nada, niente.

Eventually I had to throw in the towel and have him admitted into a nursing home, by this time he was paralysed from the neck down. And my back was wrecked from all the lifting and my health was ruined from the stress.

Even when he went into the nursing home The NHS would not pick up the tab for his care for a further two years until I finally managed to get them to admit he qualified for continuing health care. This is despite the fact that it took at least two,people to care for him, turning him every two hours, feeding him, changing his pads etc.

Until they finally granted CHC I had to forfeit half of his pension to fund his nursing home fees. I had to flog our assets, our apartment in Spain, and anything that wasn't nailed down in order to keep us afloat.

Neither his parents nor mine could offer help. As I said before I am just a working class girl brought up in a council house. Every gain we made made was the result of my husband and I working hard. Our respective parents were well into their 80s and were not rich. Although my darling father in law did once give me £10k to help us out.

After he went into care I sold the family home to clear our debts and downsized. I rented a small bungalow within the grounds of the nursing home so I could be close to him, monitor his care and provide some semblance of a normal life. On good days I could wheel him down to the bungalow, on bad days I spent most of the time in his room, keeping him company, reading to him, playing word games and trying to help him while away the hours whilst he remained paralysed waiting to die.

When he died, I used the insurance money to give my two sons £50k each as a deposit for their homes and the remaining capital, after clearing our debts, from the house sale to buy myself a small house.

I live mortgage free and have a net pension income of £11,000 pa. I also have investment income from my savings but I do not factor this income into my accounts because I don't need it to live off, I reinvest it.

Without being too cocky I think I have managed my affairs well under very difficult circumstances - mainly thanks to the help, advice, support and encouragement I have received from the kind contributors to MSE and similar blogs, many of whom I now consider to be my friends. I follow Mr Moneymoustache with great interest. And money management books are now my preferred reading.

I now have a little nest egg of £60k which I am steadily increasing through careful investing. Its not huge as pension pots go but should be enough to supplement my income in later years, especially if I can manage without drawing it down for while and can leave it to continue to grow.

I do not consider myself poor, far from it. I live very well. I run a car, I travel, I have enough clothes to open a shop. I am financially secure.

I only mentioned the term poverty line as a lighthearted jokey aside and to illustrate just how skewed the government figures are. I think they are largely meaningless. The "lowest 10 per cent" they talk about is nonsense. It is not a persons income that actually counts, it's how that income is spent that truly matters, our outgoings and commitments need to be taken into account when trying to determine what is an appropriate level of income.

I know couples who earn and squander over £100k a year each and have very little to show for it. They live in posh houses and drive flash cars but I know for a fact they struggle to keep their heads above water because they are over committed. If they fell on hard times they would lose the lot.

I have to say I find your comments highly amusing. You lectured me about the OP being in poor health and yet knew nothing of my circumstances.

Don't you realise that it is because of my knowledge and experience with caring for a very disabled husband and suffering the financial hardships that ensued that I am exactly the person who can not only advise but also empathise with Candy's predicament.

I have personal experience and know exactly how hard it can be. I not only survived and lived to tell the tale, in the end I actually thrived. But I didn't do it alone, I had the generous help and emotional support from people like MITSTM, Margaret Clare and Dorothy, as well as lots of other very kind hearted people on the other threads.

I hate to have to point out the obvious but if we had not been successful entrepreneurs who owned our own property then we would have received considerably more help and support. If we had been renting we would have had our rent and council tax paid for......and we wouldnt have had to self fund for all his medical equipment.

Yes, initially we did have funds to cover some of these costs but when you are as disabled as my husband was then the bills soon start racking up and it doesn't take long for you to get through your life savings. Perhaps you can now understand how, despite a lifetime of hard work and planning for our autumn years I ended up in such a financial mess. The simple truth is that being sick is an expensive business. And unless you have a money tree in the back garden, if you get no help from the State, then you do eventually burn through not just your life savings but you also have to part with anything of value to raise the funds to keep going. The State will not help you if you have any assets, even if those assets were part of your pension planning.

The Plain unvarnished unpalatable truth is that, from a financial point of view, his condition took toolong to eventually kill him. By the time the State finally took some responsibility there was nothing left, the coffers were empty.

Shall I tell you something. I would rather have him back here with me now even if it meant being £30k in debt again. I would muddle through somehow.

When the proverbial hit the fan I didn't sit around moaning our fate, and neither did my husband, although of course I was angry that he had to die so young and that he had to suffer such an unpleasant and lengthy illness. We decided to make the best of a bad job and make the most of the time he had left.

With hindsight, yes I could have done things differently. Maybe I should not have given up my job to care for my husband. Maybe I should have insisted the State take up the burden. Maybe I should have left him to rot in a nursing home without me by his side to be his companion, comfort him and make his miserable existence a bit more bearable,

Maybe my big mistake was loving my husband too much to simply abandon him to his fate.....

But thank you for your lecture and pearls of wisdom. I shall bear your wise words in mind next time I am faced with such a decision. I will step back and let our wonderful "caring society" which you rave about take responsibility for my loved ones. :rotfl:

dorothy52

Oh I am so pleased you pointed all that out to Percy, LL, not that you should have had to. Thing is, many of us know your back story, and Margaret's, so we know that you are both eminently qualified to offer advice. So we listen, well, read, and take heed. I don't begrudge any one in real need the help they get from the state, I am just glad that I don't need it, that I am healthy and can support my self and help my adult kids.

The key to all this is managing your finances well. There has been so much good advice on this thread alone. Margaret mentioned that she hasn't always saved......neither have I. I discovered this site in 2007 and it changed my life, my retirement will be all the better for having found it

iris

Brilliant post LL:T

lessonlearned

Hi Iris and Dorothy.

Thanks both for your kind words. I have to say I was rather astonished to be on the receiving end of such a post .......Hey ho.

I shall just "sashay away". :rotfl:

I agree Dorothy, I bless the day I found the Sainted Martin Lewis.

All Hail.

I was watching breakfast tv one morning and saw him burst onto the screen, all boundless energy and righteous indignation, on his quest to teach us all sound fiscal sense.

I rushed out, bought his book and discovered this website and the rest is history. What I learned literally saved my bacon. I was beginning to fear that we were on the brink of bankruptcy. I felt I was staring into the abyss.

But with everything I learned and all the sound advice and support I received I was able to claw our way back - just in the nick of time.

I cannot thank this site enough, and now that I am financially secure I do try to "give back" by helping and advising others.

But after reading Percy's vitriolic post I did find myself asking why I should bother. Why lay myself open to such abuse.

Anyhoooo, looks like a nice day and I have things to do, people to see. Time to get a wiggle on.

Have a great day y'all.

dorothy52

I found this site because my student daughter had a holiday job in the debt collection dept of a major bank. She and I were both shocked to learn how much debt her customers had, so one day I just googled 'debt solutions' and up popped mse.

I was hooked. I visit this site every single day, and miss it when I am on holiday with no wifi lol.

I was so shocked and affronted on yor behalf to read Percy's ill informed and, I agree, vitriolic post that I had to respond before making breakfast for my hungry grand children.

You must continue to post, your friends, admirers and countless others who are not known to you love to read them. They are wise, uplifting, sometimes a little folorn, but always, always full of wisdom.

Margaret mentioned the ladies with whom she worked, back in the day, who elected not to 'pay the full stamp'. I started work in 1975....for the princely sum of £13 a week lol. I remember a slightly older colleague telling me that she was better off as she was paying the married woman's stamp, but by that time we had no option but to pay the full one, How glad I am now........

Sun in shining, long weekend, DGC here, life is good. Have a lovely weekend all