Pay my ex or seeing my kids

roligan

Here is the situation. My wife has moved to France with the court's blessing. Kids travel to the UK one weekend a month and I travel to France to see them one weekend a month. In addition I have them half holidays.

The cost of flying them here, me flying to France and accomodation in France is around £1,000 per month. The court in Children Matters ruled that I have to pay all costs (around £1,000 per month).

I can not afford to pay my ex maintenance and pay to see the kids.

The Final Hearing in Financial Matters is in November.

I would like to know how the court will look at this dilemma. Will they say pay your wife and see the kids less or say that seeing the kids first is the first priority and then I will have to pay my ex of whatever is left. Asked in another way. Will the court deduct £1,000 from my net before they decide how much I should pay my ex of what is left?

Thank you in advance for any insight.

Roligan

cazziebo

No idea what they'll say but can I just point out you are not "paying your wife" but contributing towards the upkeep of your kids?

Hope you both reach a mutually suitable agreement.

roligan

Hi Cazziebo,

I take your point.

However, it doesn't change much. I can pay for the upkeep of my children when they are with her and not see them.

They won't suffer without me paying them so I prefer to see them instead of them living an even better life.

Roligan

csa_monitor

Roligan

You need to seek legal advice prior to final finance hearing.
The common sense approach would be for you to add the contact costs in the financial discussions before the court but your legal advisor (assuming they are good should give you advice)

And have a read of this
http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/reports/article1289756.ece

roligan

Hi Andy,

Thank you for your reply.

I do not fully understand what the article is saying. Is it saying that the court at the Final Hearing will not take into account how much it cost me to see my children. This can hardly be the first time this has been an issue. I was hoping for some clear precedents.

Roligan

csa_monitor

Roligan, you need to get legal advice in order to get info about clear precedents.

Just thought I would share information from one case (there could be others, I have no idea) that shows that the Judge was not willing to link contact costs with payment of maintenance.

roligan

I can understand that in some cases it might make sense. However, in my case if I am asked to pay maintenance it would mean that I won't see my boys in accordance with the court ordered contact dates. Surely a judge would understand that I would rather see me boys and go to jail for not paying maintenance than paying maintenance and not see my boys.

I'm sure the boys would not take it lightly if they saw their mum putting their dad in prison.

Roligan

ps. I will take legal advice

Caz312

My partner had the same problem. He was voluntarily paying over CSA rates but wife and kids lived abroad and now in UK but 500 miles away and all travel was payed for by credit card which resulted in huge debt (now a loan)

It is a bit easier now that the children are of an age that they can fly themselves so he now pays CSA rates + travel but we had looked at the CSA website and they do make some sort of allowance for travel costs (not huge I believe) It may be worth asking CSA to make a calculation based on your circumstances (you can do this even if you do not use this)

He now sees children every month - all school hols or if no hols that month then a weekend. He has bought them webcams and pays the phone bill so he can speak to and see them every day.

roligan

Hi Caz312

The CSA will not get involved since my ex is not a British citizen and live abroad.

It's quite simple. Either I spend the £1,000 I have to see my boys or I pay my ex to spend on the boys but won't see them. I wonder what the court will rule.

Strapped

Under the old CSA rules, I'm pretty sure that there was an allowance for the costs of contact if they were excessive (if I remember correctly). Perhaps the courts will work along similar lines but I agree that you need to get good legal advice pronto. I'm surprised that the inital ruling was that you should bear all the costs anyway.

Jet

I don't know what the law on this would be.

But my personal opinion is that if she upped and moved the kids to France (I presume to improve the quality of their lives), then she can't expect the same amount of maintenance.

And assuming she isn't on the breadline, the kids will suffer more for not seeing their Dad than having money in the bank.