Advice needed ex wont let me buy him out

hbrennan18

Hi All, Hopefully some of you can give me some advice. I have moved out our family home with our 4 yr old daughter 3 weeks ago. I had to moved out cos i could`nt lived with the ex anymore don`t loved him anymore and cant put up with him accusing me of seeing everybody else..this has being like this for over a year so its not something i took likely to move out. I have moved in rented accommodation he still giving me grief now questioning our daughter every time he sees her which is unfair. Anyway i have offer to buy him out for £14k has if we sold it be about £!4k each if the property got sold. He will not let me buy him out and will not buy me out either cos he does want to live there on his own. When i asked him if he is buying me out which i know he can get the money to do it, he says he ain`t going to do that so me and my new fancy man can buy a new house together which is`nt true in one bit.I really don`t want to be renting all the time. Our mortgage was done on me mainly but since he put money in for deposit it had to go in both names and just before our daughter was born it had to be remortgaged again due because of my income. He has NEVER paid 1 single penny to the house mortgage or any of the bills its all being me paying everything including shopping. Can i force him to sell the house so i can move on with my life, I even thought of just walking away from the house signing my half over to him and coming away with nothing has i don`t or want to be draw into a battle but my brother and sister say don`t do that you paid for that house.

So what would be my options to get out of this mortgage with him which hopefully wont cost the earth. His there something the mortgage company could do for me or what?.

G_M

Are you married? If so, are you getting divorced? The property will be included in the divorce settlement.

If not married, you'll need to negotiate.

It's only been 3 weeks since you left, so early days. He has clearly not come to terms with the separation.

The fact that you committed to him to the extent of starting a family, and are now leaving to live with someone else is understandably making him feel betrayed and hurt.He may well be hoping for a reconciliation, either for his own sake, or for the sake of your daughter.

You can apply to a court for an order to sell the property, but this will be expensive, and may/may not succeed.

You need to give him time to accept the new situation (or attempt a reconciliation), and then in due course agree what to do about the property. But not yet.

karcher

G_M wrote: »

The fact that you committed to him to the extent of starting a family, and are now leaving to live with someone else is understandably making him feel betrayed and hurt.

I read it as the OP's ex has just been accusing the OP of being with someone else when she isn't and the accusations are why she left.

Could be wrong though it's a difficult post to read.

TBagpuss

If you are married, then as part of the divorce you ca apply for a financial order, the court has the power to order the house to be sold, or to order it to be transferred into the sol name of one of you.
the court doesn't have the power to make the mortgage company release one of you,so you'd need to get advice as to whether you can re-mortgage in your sole name for current mortgage + £14K, so you can get his name off. The court would also take into account the rest of your financial assets and any debt, so depending what else each of you has, you, or he, may be entitled to a bit more or less than £14K

If you are not married, then you can force a sale of the house but this will take time and be expensive. If you're willing to by him out at market value then there is no reason why it shouldn't be you who buys it.

If you haven't already done so, then go to see a solicitor.

One thing worth thinking about - if you're the one who has chosen to leave, you've been mentally preparing for a separation for longer than he has, it may be worth giving him a few more weeks to get used to the idea of the split, before you try to discuss it with him again.